Dear Friend On A Diet,

I am so proud of you for making such a positive, health conscious change in your life. Also, you look hot. However, that does not mean that I want to know the calorie/fat/transfat content of the food I am CURRENTLY EATING.

I am trying to be very supportive of you, not asking you to share an order of nachos, not pushing you to match me beer for whatever low-carb crap you are drinking. This is what good friends do. And for this I am rewarded with a play by play of your diet and exercise habits, including handy tips for me! Ahem. There are several things I would like you to understand before I continue:

1. I understand. I have been a very successful dieter in the past, and I know how your every thought becomes consumed with what you will eat in the next meal, day, week. Been there, obsessed over that.

2. A follow up to #1: I KNOW all this. I have been a dieter. A good one. A well-researched one. What do I say when you tell me the fiber content of a cereal that I already know?! I don’t need to one up you, but if I express polite interest (“oh, really? Fascinating.”) it will only encourage you and make things worse for me, the disinterested yet diplomatic friend. Please, appreciate my situation, and help me avoid it. Read More »

One of my good friends finished college. Three cheers for her, I say! Way to get it done in four years.

Last night, though, this same good friend also got engaged to her boyfriend of two years. Um. Congratulations?

Yeah, yeah, so they’re in love, whatever. I get it.

I was in love once. I never actually talked to the guy, but it was there. I’m still a little baffled by her annoucement of love and commitment at such a tender age as 22. Maybe it’s me, but a lot of the time, I still feel 14. I just have so much to learn about myself before I can conceive of taking the black - and - white plunge.

And before she started dating her boyfriend — oops, i mean her fiance — my friend was right there with me, braiding my hair in the photobooth with an economy bag of fun - size Snickers and a stack of trashy magazines.

Now, she has the Big Job, the Big Ring, the Big Life, and I’m wondering what to do with all these issues of Jane and feeling like I should take the training wheels of my bike. Read More »