Bristol Palin\'s Baby. Scary.

So, I’m tired this morning. All that Democrat bashing
and baby hair licking at the Republican National Convention last night kept me up late. Since I can’t
get productive until this Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte
kicks in (yes, they are back!), I decided to peruse
the interwebs for awhile. And boy did I find a gem.

Read More... 

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Candy Dish: I Won’t Cheat On You, Georgie

sarah_george.jpgWho cheats on GEORGE CLOONEY?

No need to leave campus - ever. The big brands are comin’ to you.

The Democratic National Convention would only take a day if it weren’t for all the clapping.

The question on everyone’s mind: how do I store my sex toys?

Save a tree (or a thousand)!

Set your DVR - Lord knows you won’t be home on a Saturday night at midnight - Michael Phelps will be hosting SNL on September 13th.

Low Alcohol beer? Why on earth…?

New Orleans just can’t get a break.

Get to know America’s Next Top Model’s most - er - unique contestant.

He asked his GF out via Facebook relationship status.

A two-headed baby. For real.

The 30 porniest American Apparel ads.

Paris Hilton Blackberry Diary, August 23

paris-hilton-picture-3.jpgchris_dewolfe_500px.jpgSo I know I haven’t written in like forever, but it’s time for me to tell you that me and Benji broke up. I totally thought that me and him would last - like I didn’t think that he’d mind that I had another boyfriend.

But whatever, I’m so over Benji and I am totally hearting Chris now. Nicole can KEEP Benji all to herself now.

My new boyfriend like OWNS MySpace so he can help me redo my page so that way if I wanted to really run for President, he’d make it so that the whole country can vote on my page instead of having to go to those polls. Those are probably like really far and out of the way for everyone. But whatever, the election is like next year so that’s plenty of time. I bet we’ll be married by then!!

I don’t normally like to get so serious - but Blackberry, I’m lonely. Like sure I have sex with any guy who gives me the *look* but I don’t have any girls to call to tell them about my sex or if it burns when I pee. LA is too full of jealous girls whose boobs are bigger than mine so I decided that I’m going to go to London to find my new best friend. I think that it’s in France so that means that we can shop there together and everything. Read More »

Candy Dish: The Sweet, Sweet Taste of Revenge

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Ideas for getting back at the cheating a$%hole of a boyfriend.

Amy Winehouse: singer, drug addict, and video game star?

Will Jerry Seinfeld get you to buy Microsoft products? Bill Gates seems to think so.

What Britney Spears really sounds like. (Ears. Bleeding. Help.) But that won’t stop Justin from trying to save her career.

Tee hee.

MIT students beat the system, ride transit for free.

Michael Phelps may or may not be single.

Ever wonder what it’s like to be a bikini waxer?

Does this mean I can sue that guy who gave me a UTI?

You could name this iPOD playlist, Va-jay-jams

“America’s Next Top Model” Keeps Chugging Along

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America’s Next Top Model is coming back for its 74th season!!

Okay, I’m exaggerating a little bit as Tyra ramps up for cycle 11. But there have been so many seasons that my beloved Fug Girls have chosen an all-star cast because the show seems to be less about modeling and more about being fierce and Tyra’s bowls of crazy and Miss J’s hair.

So where are these top models anyway? Adrianne Curry married a Brady. I see Jaslene Gonzalez on gossip sites where bloggers forever criticize her gaunt frame. I think that I’ve seen Danielle Evans in an ad or two. Karl Lagerfield, while obnoxious, is right - the show is never going to turn out the world’s next supermodel. If the show didn’t turn out ten supers before this, why keep it up?

Tyra, I beg you to stop after this cycle. Unless you can turn out another Jade for me or clone Nigel Barker for my bedroom, I’m worn out.

Juicy Campus: What Do Your Classmates Really Think of You?

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Let’s face it: We LOVE to gossip. We gossip about friends and we gossip about foes. Such idle talk allows us to convey information quickly, although not always accurately. This being said, it is no surprise that the website Juicy Campus has been increasing in popularity since it was founded on August 1, 2007.

When my friends first introduced me to Juicy Campus, I wrote it off as another place for people to share their college exploits online. But I quickly realized that this site was different; I actually knew the people that were being discussed! Friends, classmates, hookups—no one was free from the wrath of this critical group. Let’s just put it this way, if the “Burn Book” from Mean Girls was published online for all to see and comment on, I would imagine it would look similar to Juicy Campus.

The site was created by Mark Ivester, a Duke University Alum, with “the simple mission of enabling online anonymous free speech on college campuses.” (Editor’s Note: That’s a nice way to refer to sh*t talking!) There are currently 64 colleges listed on the site, including many prestigious institutions such as Harvard, UPenn, and Brown. The topics on the site range from the innocent (”Best Frat on Campus”) to the scandalous (”Sex with Professors”). Each post gets a rating ranging from 0% Juicy to 100% Juicy, so the juicier the gossip, the better the rating. Read More »

Summer Camp Destroyed My Virgin Ears and I Loved It

girls-only.jpgA recent New York Times article tells parents to “Please Relax, It’s Just Camp.” It details the fact that parents are WAY too involved in their child’s summer camp experience and are constantly calling and meddling. And yes, the NYT is correct. It is just camp. And parents do need to relax.

However, these parents are sending their children away to live with absolute strangers during some of the child’s most crucial developmental years. I can see how it could be difficult and extremely frightening. But, I think I’m solid proof that, while camp can be a scary place, it’s generally not life-damaging.

During middle school I went to summer camp at one of those camps on a lake with an insanely cheery name. (You know the type, “Happy Valley” or “The Best Place on Earth.” Barf.) At this particular camp, we were NOT allowed to talk to our parents, no matter what. Of course, cell phones didn’t really exist, but parents were told not to call the camp unless of an emergency and even if they called, we were never allowed to speak to them. We did a little thing called writing letters. Remember that? Read More »

Project Runway Rundown: The Runway Goes Green

pr2.jpgLast night’s episode of Project Runway really made Lauren happy. Lauren is all about saving the environment, so Lauren was super excited when she found out the challenge was to use Green fabrics to create cocktail dresses. Lauren wants a Green cocktail dress!

Other things Lauren wants: the BlueFly accessories wall in her bedroom, a lunch date with Heidi Klum and for Suede to stop freaking speaking in third person.

But let’s get back to the show (and first person).

This week’s challenge was twofold. Not only would the designers be using eco friendly fabrics, but the models would be purchasing them. Oooooo. I am sure that threw a little wrench in everyone’s plans, but didn’t really become an issue for anyone except Stella. Not because the model came back with some hideous fabric, but because the model came back without leather.

Stella LOVES leather. She would make anything in leather! She would make pants in leather, hats in leather, dresses in leather. If only leather wasn’t the WORST THING FOR THE PLANET, Stella. I mean, seriously. Leather is not only a major fashion mistake (unless you are going to a Bon Jovi concert), it just totally goes against everything this challenge is about.

So, anyhoo….the designers start doing their thang with the stuff and some random shite goes down. Some people almost can’t finish their garments, some people are still making up words (enough with the ‘icious…seriously), some people think others are copying them and Tim Gunn thinks one designers dress has the potential to be a HOT MESS. Yes, he actually said that. He totes misses Christian! Read More »

Oversharing, Feminism, and the New American Twenty-Something

shafrir-juliaallison1v.jpg2111.jpgThe summer of 2008. A summer drowning in recession, debt, ridiculous gas prices, and boring, trashy television (I mean, Greatest American Dog??). Lots of things seem to be going wrong…or at least…discussed to the point of having us all believe they’re going wrong…and many teens and twenty-somethings are turning to the web to air their grievances.

Because 2008 isn’t just the summer of expensive corn and Obama-rama, it’s also the summer of TMI. Over-sharing has become a form of communication for our generation; from blogging about bad dates, to blogging about our self-indulgent issues, to blogging purely to become famous. No matter who we are, we can become stars overnight by uploading naked photos, name-dropping about a wild party, or simply having an ounce of literary ability and a snarky way with words.

By late July, 2008, the percent of people in the US who haven’t seen a celebrity vajayjay flash or heard someone say, “dude, I’m gonna blog about this!” is monumentally small, and it seems like every day a new gossip or 24 hour news site pops up. However, amidst the clattering of fingers on keyboards and snapping of flashbulbs, I can’t help but wonder if this constant need to be seen and heard is actually doing us any good. Read More »

Candy Dish: Jesse Jackson Is Still Not an Obama fan

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Jesse Jackson is still not an Obama fan…like, at all

And the Justin Timberlake backlash has begun!

Models may be pretty, but they sure are dumb

Maggie Gyllenhaal is awesome, Letterman is a creep

This totally looks like my favorite new web site!

Ashlee Dupree has ruined more than Elliot Spitzer’s good name

But…the Jobros…are so adorable and wholesome! How dare you not like them!

Deleted scenes from Wall-E

Religion 2.0

“There is more to kissing than just shoving your tongue in and letting it lay there.”

Kathryn Heigl needs to go. Perhaps one of these ways would be best?

Christie Brinkley Shows Us How To Forgive the ‘Other Woman’

christie_brinkley3.jpgChristie Brinkley, who’s currently going through a very public divorce from her cheating, porn-obsessed husband Peter Cook, recently told People that she “feels bad” for the 21-year-old girl Cook had an affair with, and “forgive[s] her completely.”

The reason this is noteworthy? Because women have a tendency to blame the chick their significant other had an affair with, rather than the significant other themselves. How many of you (and I’m sorry, by the way, if you understand what I’m talking about) have felt the burn of a cheater, only to turn around and have homicidal thoughts about the person the love of your life cheated on you with? I’ll cut that bitch, you think, while tearfully trying to figure out how to convince your cheating bf or spouse back into your life.

I’m sure there’s lot of scientific evidence as to why women usually hate on the O.W (Other Woman) more than their partner, but in my opinion, it all filters down to female competitiveness and self-loathing masked by rage. Like the gossip mags (mostly read by women) that spend pages ragging on celebrity cellulite and sagging stomaches, most of us find it easier to go after a target we don’t know, rather than A) a person we do know, or B) ourselves. Read More »

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