You, dear reader, are no doubt a person of many and varied opinions. But, like many of us, you may find that life doesn’t offer you enough opportunities to share those opinions with strangers. We have the solution! Did you know that you can inflict your views on an audience of thousands, simply by commenting on the internet?

Yes, it’s true. By commenting on any given blog post, you can preserve your thoughts for history, whilst simultaneously impressing your peers. Yet it’s not as easy as one might think. In order to really stand out on the internet, you must follow these simple rules.

1: Use emoticons. If you don’t include a smiley face, how will people know that you’re smiling? After all, it’s not as if you can use words to convey emotion.

2: You are a person of passionate conviction – conviction which you must convey to your audience. We’ve already established that language is useless. SO JUST TYPE IN ALL CAPS. Read More »

I was sick of dating “bad boys” and dudes from the not-so-smart category. I wanted to date an intellectual, a nice guy.

Instead, I got Mr. Deceptive.

Mr. Deceptive was definitely smart, but he wasn’t as nice as he made himself out to be. He was a Nice Guy Poser.

I think the first time I realized this was when I saw him interacting with a florist he used pretty regularly. (Yes, he sent flowers to people often enough to be a regular at a florist! And no, that doesn’t make him the dream boyfriend you’d think it would.)

During this particular visit, Mr. Deceptive wanted to arrange to send flowers to a colleague’s wife’s funeral.

“How much do you want to spend? ” the florist asked as he started to show Mr. Deceptive the flowers he recommended.

“Oh, about $50 or $60,” Mr. Deceptive answered.

Even I, who admittedly knows nothing about funeral flower arrangements, thought that seemed a bit low. Turned out I was right. The florist hesitated and looked at Mr. Deceptive quite hard. “May I suggest you send a live plant to the person’s house, instead?” he asked carefully. Read More »