Alright people, let’s get two things straight. 1) I love (loooove) drinking and 2) I am pretty damn serious about my GPA. A paradox, I know, but one that has contributed greatly to my collegiate success (both in and out of the bars). Unfortunately these two qualities clash in a major way when my morning lectures (ok and sometimes afternoon classes if I’ve been hitting the Franz a little too hard) and hangovers coincide.

Naturally, my first reaction is to stumble out of bed, put on the first item of clothing that most nearly resembles sweatpants and yank a gym shirt over my head as I groan “ughhhhh” on the way out the door.

Sadly, professors and attractive classmates do not take kindly to my arrival in class looking like Britney circa February 2008–and chances are yours don’t either. So instead of being shunned for your dedication to class attendance (I mean, you’re making the effort right?!) I’ve thrown together a handy list of fashion saviors for even the most hungover of mornings.

You’ll look as put together as one possibly can after a night of hollering 80’s classics and harassing the bartender, and no one will be the wiser (except for the person sitting next to you enjoying your Eau de Skol…) Read More »

Some of my favorite weekends and least regrettable hangovers are courtesy of long nights spent playing traveling drinking games. Forget laid back games involving ping pong balls or a deck of cards - I’m talking about mobile, interactive drinking games that get you drunk quick and keep you there all night.

Plus you’ll have some fantastic photos of your sloppy buddies in novelty costumes…for better or worse.

My two favorites are Le Tour De Franzia and Liquid Golf. Here the rules:

If you look online, the Tour has a few variations. Here’s how we do it where I come from:

1. Assemble two or three teams of 10-12 people each. Prior to the event, give each team a color or tell everyone to come in cycling/fitness clothes. Helmets are encouraged (and may very well be necessary by the end of the night).
2. When the whistle blows, each team starts drinking a box of the best boxed wine around: Franzia. You can keep things tame, or get rid of the box for increased excitement. “Slapping the bag,” is half the fun of drinking boxed wine. Heaven knows it doesn’t taste very good. Read More »

Lots of people in the USA like to complain about the drinking age. And by lots of people, I mainly mean those who are under the legal drinking age of 21.

This included me when I was underage. I used to rant continually to any listening ear around me about how hard it was for me to get into bars. I despised the injustice of the photo ID and the fact that I had to constantly verse myself in the full name, birthday, and address of the older friend I was always pretending to be while out on the town.

I had a boyfriend in London and HE was allowed to drink already. It drove me, as he would say, mad. However, now that I’m a few years past the drinking age and a few years wiser, I have come to understand how detrimental a legal drinking age of 18, for instance, could have been to my life.

If I had been drinking (legally) when I was 18, things would be different for me now, I reckon: Read More »

Because my college career will be drawing to a close soon, my mind is winding its way towards that point in my life when I will no longer be a carefree college student. I will be a— what do they call it again? A grown-up?

In that same frame of mind, I’ve been looking at my so-called grown-up friends to see how their lives are different from my own, searching for things that would tell me when I’ve become one of them, or if maybe -gasp- I’m already there. Here is what I came up with.

5 Signs that you are now entering Adultsville:

1. Bills. Gone are the days of blissful ignorance as to how the lights stayed on at home or the hot water kept running. Now those infuriating little statements just keep slipping through the mail slot. Phone bill, gas bill, waterworks, eating away at your paycheck- your new pair of shoes! It was a lot more fun when you had an allowance.

2. Your parents are asking you to drive them places. You thought it was your ticket to freedom when you got your license, huh? Wink, wink. Mom and Dad were just waiting for the day when they wouldn’t have to take you anywhere and you could start chauffeuring them around. Now it’s, “Honey, can you take me to the doctor’s on Monday?” and, “Oh, could you stop by the grocery store after work and pick some things up for me?” Don’t forget doing someone else’s errands: “Your sister’s done with soccer practice at 6.” Some kind of freedom. Read More »

To be completely honest, after a long week of brain power the last thing I feel like doing in my free time is pleasure reading, however, I have found just the piece of literature to help re-light the spark: Chelsea Handler’s “My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands.”

If you haven’t had the pleasure of witnessing her antics, Chelsea Handler is a complete trip with great material and no shame. I found Chelsea several years ago on the Oxygen Network’s “Girls Behaving Badly”, and from there followed her to the E! Network and caught a few stand-up shows — the rest is history.

So last weekend I picked up Chelsea’s book after many months of putting it off (like I said, reading for fun loses all appeal when you have to read for purpose), and headed to a nearby coffee shop to enjoy my book with a nice cup of coffee.

I have never felt like more of a spaz. I barely made it through the first chapter without literally laughing out loud - as in laughing out loud in the middle of a crowded coffee shop filled with students studying hard, sitting all by myself. Talk about being that girl.

It only took me a few more failed attempts to try and hide my laughing before I decided Chelsea’s book was best read in the privacy of my home, where only my roommates would judge me - and I have a feeling laughing while reading isn’t too high on the list.

I continued the rest of the book — yes, I read the whole thing in one sitting — in the living room with all my roommates, who continually asked me about every five minutes what I was laughing at, (the Jurassic park feet reference killed me.) Needless to say, this book became a cult-classic in my household within a week. Read More »

Last night, to escape the tranquillized waters of the suburbs (see my previous post on Suburban Summer Survival), my friend Alec invited me to make the 45 minute drive to the nearest city to hang out at his apartment and bar - hop. I jumped in my mom’s Honda before he could promise me free drinks.

Well, to make a long story short, the free drinks soon found themselves in my throat and come 3 a.m., I was still rather sloshed with no relief in sight (although I was collected enough to realize that this is precisely why I prefer to walk everywhere). For the time being, though, I could hardly put one foot in front of the other, let alone navigate mom’s Honda back to the ‘burbs.

Alec, ever the gentleman and a treasured friend since we starred together in The Sound of Music our sophomore year of high school, kindly offered to put me up for the night. However, the minimalist decorator he is, there were very few options for a sleeping arrangement: I could sleep on the floor, or I could sleep in his bed. With him. Or he could sleep on the floor, but I hate to inconvenience a gracious host. Read More »

It’s Friday! As soon as the clock strikes 5 (or 6…or whenever you’re finished with class…) it’s time to let your hair down and get going with what the weekend is made for: getting waaaaasted!

Which sounds awesome…until you wake up in the morning with the worst hangover of all time. After running to the bathroom to puke a twice and promising God that you will never drink again if He lets you make it through this pain, you return to your bed and contemplate just what will make this horrible feeling end.

Unfortunately, you are fresh out of Vicodin.

Lucky for you, there are other ways to get rid of the spins/headache/dry mouth/sore muscles/anything else that comes along with a hangover (besides the smokey smell in your hair and ugly dude lying next to you). Read More »