Guys tell me all the time…

“You know, if you wanted to have sex, all you have to do is….go have it.”

Over the years, I have learned that these guys are telling me the truth. As a reasonably attractive female who works out and eats right and has a body to show for it, finding a guy to have sex with hasn’t ever really been tough. Throw in the fact that I’m more intelligent than a lot of girls I meet and definitely more laid back…and lets just say that the sex in my life should be plentiful. But it’s not.

A friend was asking me about this yesterday. He finally came to a conclusion:

“You know what? You just don’t give a f*ck. Cause if you gave a f*ck, you’d be having sex.”

And I realized, just like that, that he was right. I keep complaining about the fact that I’m not meeting guys who I want to be physical with, but lets face it, I’m probably not trying.

And if you’re a reasonably attractive and intelligent girl out there feeling a little unlucky with sex lately, the deal is probably the same for you. I hate to say it ladies, but guys don’t have a lot of standards about who they’ll sleep with. If you’re not getting laid, you probably just don’t want to — at least with the prospects you currently have.

He wants to do me.
He wants to do me not.
He wants to do me…

…Then never call again, do me, then tell all of his friends, do me, then flip out about my guy friends…the list goes on. If only the “He wants to do me” sentence could exist without the predictable post sex behavior, I would be living in a much more sexually satisfying world.

The problem with most guys who I have encountered is this: They really believe that if they have intercourse with a girl, she will flip out and suddenly be in love. Maybe all of the guys I know have simply given themselves too much credit because I’m always recycling the same kind of guy over and over again: Artsy and ARROGANT.

I suppose that, for me, there’s a degree of truth to this. But at the end of the day, I don’t want to be in love with anyone. Being in love is a shamefully painful experience to me, honestly. I’d rather be in the casual sex club…but the older I get..the harder it is to stay a member of that club. Read More »

When I was a virgin, and apparently a huge (and at that moment tipsy) bitch, I called one of my best friends a slut. And it wasn’t a friendly “Hey, Slut!” but more like “Hey, you’re kind of a slut.” Heinous, I know. But at that moment, in my pre-sex virginal delusion, I had no idea. No idea what it was like to have sex, to not find the right person, to experience something amazing and really want to try it again.

Of course, now I understand. I understand why she was so angry and why I was so out of line. Now that my number far exceeds hers (and it has for a while), I wonder what—besides my obvious sexual frustration—made me think I had any right to judge her number.

I know my friends could rightly call me a slut, and in a way they wouldn’t be wrong. I have done my fair share of sleeping around and I can’t deny it. The funny thing is, I judge, or have judged people on their own sexual statistics. Read More »