I’m not a vegetarian, but I like to eat like one. I’m very picky with meats (I don’t eat seafood, beef, or pork); I try to eat healthy (even though I typically consume the calories I cut throughout the week in weekend drinking binges); and, most importantly, I’m a horrible cook, so I’d rather microwave a faux-chicken cutlet than get salmonella from undercooking a juicy piece of pollo.

A recent issue of Shape magazine suggested eating vegetarian once a week, and I was like, “Heyyy I already do that! I rock!” They also featured a mouthwatering recipe for vegetarian paella. That’s not going to happen. So, whether you’re a carnivore or a herbivore, trying to shave some calories from your diet, or too busy to slave over a hot stove, I give you vegetarian meals in five minutes or less. All you need is a microwave.

1. Boca Meatless Chili
You need:
–Boca Meatless Chili, from the freezer section of your grocery store.
–2 slices of whole wheat bread

*Zap the chili for three minutes, stir, and nuke for one more minute.
*While the chili is in the microwave, pop the whole wheat bread in the toaster.
*Cut the whole wheat toast in quarters, top with tasty chili, and enjoy! Read More »

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I don’t admit this to just anybody, but my favorite junk food is Mary Kitchen corned beef hash.

Yes, I know it is disgusting. Yes, I know it has 50% of your daily value of saturated fat in it per serving. Yes, I know it looks like dog food. But I still love it, even if I feel pretty nasty after eating it.

That is why I was so excited this week when I discovered a recipe that is even better-tasting than Mary Kitchen hash—not to mention worlds healthier. As if that wasn’t awesome enough, it has four ingredients only, making it the easiest thing ever to prepare. All you need is:

• cabbage
• potato
• ground beef
• onion

Salt and pepper work well for flavoring it, and I like to serve mine with ketchup. But those aren’t technically ingredients. Anyway, here is the recipe. Cook it for a good long time—probably 5-10 minutes longer than the recipe recommends, because you want all the ingredients to be nice and browned at the end.

You can thank me later.

[Image courtesy of ApartmentTherapy.com.]

Poor breakfast is probably the most forgotten meal of the day. In your daily mad-morning-dash to school, work, or play, it is easy to forget to eat something before you leave the house. Now for someone with a packed schedule, a mere bowl of cereal or a single granola bar will not tide you over until lunchtime. Luckily, I have found the perfect 15 minute morning meal that will keep you satisfied longer.

This bacon, egg, and cheese muffin may seem like a standard breakfast item, but tastier than a McDonald’s meal with half the calories!

Now on with the deliciousness!

Here are the ingredients for one muffin:
2 eggs
2 sliced Canadian bacon
2 slices processed American cheese (I recommend Kraft)
1 English muffin, split and toasted
1 tablespoon cream cheese, softened Read More »

Nothing says summertime like copious sunburns, drinking outside and picnics. You could be “that girl” and bring coleslaw, hot dog buns or worse…the dreaded bag of chips, to your next backyard bash, or you could wow the hell out of your friends and bring the best damn fruit salad they’ve ever had.

Now don’t get ahead of yourself. Fruit salad is not for the faint of heart. It can be time-consuming and expensive if you don’t plan it out just right. Here are a few tips for making this healthy, fun summer treat.

1. Use fresh fruit. This should go without saying but I’m saying it anyway. Frozen fruit is for smoothies, margaritas and ice packs..not salad.

2. Search for bargains. To make a good salad you could be buying 8-10 types of fresh fruit. The price tag can get pretty high if you don’t shop around. Try to buy at least half of your fruit on sale. This isn’t tough to do in the summer with so much fresh stuff in season. Because you’ll be cutting and chopping you can also take “scratch and dent” fruit (the stuff with small bruises). Read More »

Eating is fun.
And eating is even MORE fun when you’re smashed.
That’s right. They tell us that alcohol impairs your judgment and ‘they’ are absolutely right.

How else do I explain the empty jar of peanut butter I found this morning next to my bed?

Ah, peanut butter.
You know, you don’t have to eat a jar of it when you’re drunk to savor its goodness (which I seemed to have forgotten…)

One of my favorite drunk snacks involves a little PB, a little fat and a whole lot of delicious:

1 Rice Cake with Skippy Reduced Fat Peanut Butter smeared on it with Light Chocolate syrup poured over it. Oh. My. God. It’s so delicious, you’ll cry.

Read More »

By now you’ve probably heard that fish is good for you—really, REALLY good for you! Besides being a lean and healthy form of protein, lower in saturated fat than poultry or beef, fish contains omega 3 fatty acids, sometimes referred to as fish oil. Although “fish oil” sounds kinda gross, it’s good for your heart, and may even contribute to healthy skin and strong immunity. Good stuff.

But how the heck do you cook it? A lot of fish is breaded or fried (or both), which sort of defeats the purpose of it being a health food (kinda like tempura. Seriously people…fried veggies?) However, one of the healthiest ways to cook fish is also one of the easiest.

Have tinfoil and an oven? You can cook fish. Read More »

I am not a vegetarian, but I really don’t care much for meat. I will eat chicken or ground beef a few times a week, but honestly, it doesn’t bother me if I go all veggie, all the time for a while.

Lately, it’s been so freaking hot where I live (hello, summer) that I don’t even want to turn on the stove for 30 seconds, let alone the oven. Remembering an awesome avocado and egg sandwich that I once had at a New York City deli, I devised this AMAZING veggie wrap.

You need: one wrap tortilla, half a fresh avocado, half a small tomato, one hard-boiled egg, one carrot, a couple tablespoons of cheese (type is up to you), a tiny bit of Miracle Whip, a tiny bit of pesto sauce, a tiny bit of honey mustard, and sprinkles of salt and pepper. Read More »

If spanakopita to you is just another word you can’t pronounce, you’re REALLY missing out.

The term for Greek spinach pie, spanakopita is made with phyllo pastry and is probably one of the most delicious things on the planet. Naturally, it also contains a lot of spinach, which gives you a chance to bulk up those muscles like Popeye.

To make my spanakopita, I cut this recipe in half with a few modifications: I omitted the parsley, kept all eight sheets of phyllo, and used less olive oil.

This recipe would be a complete cinch if it weren’t for the phyllo. Phyllo is a pain to work with, and you have to make sure to thaw it properly (at least a full day in the fridge or 3-4 hours in a normal room). When it’s finally thawed, you have to work

with it at lightning speed and keep it covered with something moist at all times… not to mention paint every sheet you’re using

with a little melted butter or olive oil.

Here’s the good news: if you don’t want to mess with phyllo dough (or if you don’t have any), the recipe works fine for quiche, too. Your final quiche product might turn out tasting a little less eggy/cheesy than a usual quiche, but it’ll be delicious anyway (and beautiful)!

Spinach lovers, unite!

So, I wouldn’t necessarily advocate this, but if you want to eat a cookie for breakfast, this is totally the cookie to go for. It has a serving of healthy (flour), a serving of delicious (chocolate), and a serving of WAKE UP (instant coffee). Really, to be honest, there’s nothing better.

Here’s what you need: ¼ c brown sugar, 3 tablespoons of soft unsalted butter, 1 egg yolk, ¼ teaspoon of vanilla, just under ½ c flour, 2 teaspoons of instant espresso powder (woo-hoo!), ¼ teaspoon of baking soda, 1/8 teaspoon of baking powder, a sprinkle of salt, 1 tablespoon of milk, and 2-3 tablespoons of chopped chocolate. Chopped chocolate—not chocolate chips, so don’t even think about trying to substitute. The real deal makes all the difference.

This makes six nice-sized cookies, by the way.

First, warm your oven to 350. Then use an electric mixer (or do it by hand if you must, but a mixer is better for this recipe) to combine the sugar and butter until it’s creamy. Read More »