“Who did this to you?” a new friend asked me yesterday when she noticed my near gagging at a couple holding hands crossing the street in front of us. It was followed later by a, “Damn…I would never date you!”.

I come off to everyone as a jaded and heartless b*tch, I guess. But that’s not really it at all. It’s not my lack of emotion that makes me steer clear of relationships. On the contrary, it’s my abundance of emotion. Sound silly?

Well, yeah. It is silly. But it’s how I am. When I really like a guy, I’m f*cking worthless. Every moderately aching emotion makes me want to puke all over everything around me. Love hurts…it’s not just a song, people. Sure, I feel ecstasy. I feel love. To quote songstress Feist, I feel it all. But when the pain comes, it kills me. I lost fifteen pounds in two weeks once after a breakup that I couldn’t emotionally handle. Read More »