[Yes, LC, we realize this Hills update is late. No need to make that “holding corn chips incredulously” move of yours. This week sucked for your dear editor. I apologize. Now, on to the awesomeness…]

Yesterday I had a serious case of the Mondays. Even the Boston Creme donut I had didn’t make me feel any better. Or the giant sale on Bloomingdales.com (but I may not feel the good vibes from that until my brand new jacket arrives in the mail!). I was ready to retire to bed with a cup of tea and a good book until I remembered something awesome: The Hills is back. I have gotten so used to Mondays without my blonde and super tan frenemies that I nearly forgot. I turned on the TV and was blessed with even more good news: TWO EPISODES!

It was like the clouds parted and the sun began to shine.

Two full episodes means there is a lot of ground to cover. I took three pages of notes! Sure, a lot of that includes, “What the hell is Stephanie wearing on her head?” and, “Heidi looks like she wants to cry right now – she is trying so hard – but her face just…won’t….move.” But so much happened!

There is no way I can really discuss everything I want to – like Heidi and Spencer’s fight over who paid for which super-sized flat screen - so here is a brief rundown of the happenings on episodes dos and tres of The Hills. Sort of a Cliff’s Notes guide to last night’s drama.

Read More »

Last night was the season premiere of The Hills and all I can say is, wow. I have been counting down to this moment for a long time. I even had a party to celebrate it. But even I couldn’t have anticipated just how spectacular the whole event was going to be.

A pre-show.

Mariah Carey.

An hour-long episode (with commercial breaks that seemed a lot shorter than normal).

It was fantastic.

As you all know, last night’s episode picked up where last season abruptly ended some three months ago: Lauren and Whitney arrive in Paris, while Heidi and Spencer work through the many failings of their overly public relationship. I am ashamed to say this, but after watching I was extremely disappointed with Lauren and (gulp) actually kinda respected Heidi.

Before you throw tomatoes at your computer screen, hear me out. Read More »

Much like Heidi’s face and body, The Hills isn’t real.

The self-described Queen of all Media recently broke the story most of us already knew to be true when he reported that episodes of The Hills are about to shown in the UK with a pre-show disclaimer: “The following programme may contain scenes that have been created purely for entertainment purposes.”

The only news to me is that people didn’t know that The Hills wasn’t real in the first place. It’s not totally fake, but come on. How could you not know the scenes were set up?

I mean, it spun off from “Laguna Beach,” which asked its season two “stars”, Jessica and Jason, to recreate the break up that they’d had on a weeknight, since MTV only filmed the show from Thursday through Sunday.

We also had this fantastic account from Gavin the Model about the fakery and insipidness that is Lauren, Spencer, and Heidi (and the potential coolness of Brody Jenner).

Is the ‘news’ in this story that The Hills creators are being up front with the British audience while in the States we’ve had it revealed to us through the likes of Perez Hilton and other bloggers? Read More »

• Hillary exposes her inner Tracy Flick in this video.

• Spencer & Heidi will have a fake wedding after all.

• Diane Keaton drops the F-Bomb on GMA.

• The Best Thing to Ever go on Sale on Craigslist EVER?

• Underwear is outerwear in 2008.

• John Mayer wants football fans to back off of Jessica Simpson.

When we last left The Hills – far too long ago than I’d like to think about – Heidi was heading back to Montag Ranch in the rugged hills of Colorado for a much needed break from Spencer. From his lack of a job to his oversized beard to the fact that he packed her bags to elope in Vegas, Heidi had enough. She may also have realized that the ring (weighing in at about 50% of her pre-implants body weight) was f-a-k-e.

And since the infamous season finale, people have been wondering what is going on with the Dumb-As-Rocks Duo. Rumors have been flying: Heidi and Spencer broke up, they are still together but the wedding is off, that (GASP) the show is completely scripted.

Now, I am a girl who has standards when it comes to the news. I am not just going to believe whatever some weird looking dude with a propensity for scribbling on pictures has to say. I want some evidence. Like these photos I found while perusing my favorite blog sites yesterday. (Note: high standards is a relative statement.) Read More »

• Champagne in a can! Perfect for those New Year’s low-budget midnight toasts! Bonus: Paris Hilton approves.

• The end of the year means -you guessed it- lists! About everything! Including god-awful duets!

• …and the 10 Best TV Music Moments!

• In case you live under a rock and this is your first time on the internet, here’s what you missed on The Hills this season!

• Ugly Betty + Jane Pratt = What we’ll watch while The Hills is on hiatus

• Get your man something nice for the holidays! We give you no excuse not to.

Last night was one of those nights that can only be described as bittersweet. I sat on my couch excitedly anticipating the action packed season finale of The Hills (sweet) with some homemade biscotti (also sweet) before I realized that it would in fact be the last Monday for a long time to include my gal pals from L.A. (bitter).

Today is completely bitter. I feel like it is the morning after an awesome hook up when I can’t do anything but sit and think about the guy while I wait for him to call. While the evening it all went down (no pun intended) was awesome, the morning after just sucks.

This time, though, is even worse; I know Lauren isn’t going to call. And I know I am going to have to wait a long, long time to see her again.

But even with all this sadness I can’t help but get warm and fuzzy inside when I think back to that half hour of perfection last night. And my delicious biscotti.

The episode could not have been better. I found my heart melting for Brody, which is weird because he is totally not my type. Usually the popped collar/weird oversized hat kinda guys completely turn me off. But I guess there is something to be said about a guy in love. And he so is!

Which, by the way, made me hate Lauren just a little. Don’t get me wrong; the girl is absolutely fabulous. She has a killer wardrobe, she is surprisingly driven and intelligent considering her more-than-comfortable upbringing and she and I share many thoughts and opinions. I have to say, though, it drives me crazy when girls play dumb with guys. Read More »

Is it just me, or was last night’s episode of The Hills kinda boring? Not 3-hour-lecture boring; more like this-could-totally-be-a-day-in-my-life boring. From Lauren and Brody’s gray area to Audrina’s first date with the new boy, to Lauren and Audrina’s Halloween party (that included Pabst and beer pong!), watching it felt watching my own life!

It was almost as if MTV realized just how unbelievable the show was getting so they scaled it back to remind people that Lauren and her fabulous friends are just like the rest of us.

But mixed in with all that normal-ness was a small drama side dish a la Heidi and Spencer. Oh, and Sister Pratt. And to be honest I can’t really tell who in this situation bothered me more: Read More »