I wish I were gay.

Well, no. That’s only a little bit true. That’s actually barely true at all. I don’t want to be saddled with unfair prejudice in the workplace, social and religious spheres, and military. So let me refine that statement a bit.

I wish I could be into dudes.

Not quite the same thing, really. I’ve always been a fan of the Kinsey scale when it comes to human sexuality, since “gay” and “straight” are so painfully restrictive. So let’s just say I wish I could ding my rating up a few points or two.

I’m perfectly happy with women, of course. Ladies, you guys are great, and I mean that. It’s not like I’m not getting enough variety in my sexy diet or anything. And honestly, friendship-wise, I tend to be one of those wimpy boys that has more female than male friends and always gets called “a really nice guy”. So what’s up, man?

Why the thirst for testosterone?

It’s a matter of principle. See, I’ve always believed that gender expression is mostly socialized. Girls get dolls, boys get dump trucks, that sort of thing. Switch them around and little girls would grow up to be seven feet tall with full Thoreau neck beards - no kidding, man. And from a very young age, us dudes have basically been told: “Hey! Check it out! Boobs!” Read More »

Addiction. I felt like that was a pretty big theme in last night’s episode. No?

First we had the trainwrecks, Matt and Kimber living in a dump with their newborn baby, who might as well be smoking crystal meth too. Not to mention their brush with gay porn to make money to feed their habit, but I’ll get into that later.

And last, but certainly not least, there was the headcase Eden (with the bad hair) who probably would’ve become addicted to all three pill prescriptions that Christian gave her if he didn’t crack his whip and send her to rehab. Side note: I think she exaggerates her heterosexuality because her mom is a lesbo. But that’s just me.

Anyway, let the dissecting begin.

I am dying to know what will happen to Matt and Kimber’s baby. That poor thing may just cry itself to death. But I guess they aren’t completely terrible parents. I mean, they did bring her to the daycare center at the porn production studio. Um, seriously?

Since we’re on the topic of porn, Matt getting into the gay porn biz, is kind of hilarious. If I remember correctly, doesn’t he like to do guys? He may not have gone through with it this time, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he might consider it again since Kimber is now doing their drug dealer.

Now, on to Miss Eden. This bitch deserved to have her ass handed to her by Christian. Yes, he is so unbelievably shady and manipulative, but I really couldn’t help but adore him at this very moment. I never saw it coming. However, I have no doubt that Eden will return with some god awful scheme to get back at him.

Oh so exciting! Read More »

I have to admit that I usually know what to expect from Nip/Tuck:

a) a crazy, graphic display of plastic surgery

b) kinky sex

c) Dr. Troy being a creepy and naked

d) Dr. Troy having kinky sex, and of course

e) that one moment in the show where I’m like, “holy sh%$ that is messed up!”

But last night’s episode caught me totally off guard when it became quite obvious that Julia, MacNamara’s ex wife, was playing for “the other team.” Huh? And with the hot and beautiful girlfriend of Ellen Degeneres, Portia de Rossi, no less! I seriously never saw this one coming. I mean, think about it: Julia had been married to a hot plastic surgeon for years, she’s a mom and she’s even sexed it up kinky style with Troy a few times. Is this not hetero behavior?

Yet when Julia went to LA to introduce/explain her current lady love affair to the boys, she didn’t come out and say, yeah I’ve been into chicks all of this time. She explained to MacNamara that it was all about the “connection” and the fact that the communication and sex were easier.

Hmmm … First I thought, how in god’s name is the sex easier? But then, I began to wonder, is sexual preference really about the connection? Can the actual person, despite gender really be what seals the deal? Read More »