Recappin\' The Hills...

So, I was gone for a few weeks and
missed out on a lot of Hills recapping.
I was so excited to get back into it…
until I actually watched tonight’s totally
sucky episode. Like most episodes of
The Hills, nothing really happened. In
fact, the entire show can be broken
down into two sentences:
Lauren and Audrina make up.
Spencer acts like a douche in
front of his Nana. Read More...

Next: Undergrad Boys or Grad Men?
1/5Previous FeaturePause RotationNext Feature

Disney: Movie Studio or Skank Factory?

Have you ever noticed this pattern that Disney has created of breeding teenage pop queens only to have them turn around and become like whoa sexy?

Let’s start with those Mousekateers we all love so much. I mean, how cute were Britney and Christina? Then out of no where they become pop sensations, vamp up their wholesome styles, and become sex icons for many a-teenage girls..and boys. I’ll tell you what though…they did a damn good job with Justin. (yum!)

britney-final.jpgchristina-final.jpg

Years pass, and a new group of young actors take over the Disney scene.

Enter Vanessa Hudgens. So cute, so talented, soooo naughty. She made it big with High School Musical and then to all of our surprise, pictures of Hudgens posing NEKKID start popping up. Might these pictures have been for her oh-so-hot boytoy Zac Efron? hm.

vanessa-final.jpg

Then of course there’s Miley. The adorable, raspy voiced teeny bopper became the idol of millions of little girls all over the world with her hit show Hannah Montana. From there, her singing career took off (I definitely had a couple rock out sessions to “See You Again”). In 2008, little Miss Miley caused some controversy with her sexy photo shoot for the cover of Vanity Fair. Was she too trying to break the girl-next-door image that was bestowed on her by Disney?

miley-final.jpg

The most recent Disney girl-gone-wild is Cheetah Girl, Adrienne Bailon. Pictures of her posing in a bra…and nothing else surfaced on the internet. The pictures were supposedly stolen off her computer and meant for her boyfriend, Robert Kardashian (yep, Kim’s bro).

addrienne-final.jpg

Maybe Disney has forced these girls to be wholesome and innocent and they rebel with over-the-top sexiness? Or is it that Disney has nothing to do with it and these girls are just being girls?

View Results

Loading ... Loading …

The Freshman Experience: Are Freshmen Forever Friends?

friends.jpgI have been in college for almost a month, and so far my biggest problem is something I’ve done quite easily — making friends.

During Orientation, people began to cling together because, in truth, all of us were friendless. So my group of friends developed depending on with whom I ate lunch one day, who also got lost trying to return to my dorm after a party, or who was sitting next to me at one of the many assemblies. I am not complaining about my friends — they are all genuinely nice people - but I wonder: if we had gone to school from pre-K to twelfth grade, would they even give me a second glace? Would I give them?

I feel like making these friends so hastily isn’t really making any true connections. Maybe this is because I’ve never moved away, and so have known all my high school friends for years. I know them inside and out, and I am really grateful for them. Now I have plenty more people programmed into my cell phone than I did in last fall. I can call over ten girls to go eat lunch, or procrastinate by watching a movie. I can say hello to at least five friends every time I walk somewhere.

But what kind of claim is that, when I don’t know anything about them other than the generic five questions I have asked and been asked for the last few weeks. 1) What’s your name? 2) What dorm do you live in? 3) What are you interested in studying? 4) Where are you from? 5) Do you want to exchange cell phone numbers?

There is no number 6: What is it about you that would make us good friends? Read More »

Celebrity Chic on the Cheap: Vanessa Hudgins Rocks the Plaid

vanessa_hudgens.jpgSo we’ve all seen the trends for the fall.

Every time I’m in a store, I feel like I was thrown back into my time machine and should be busting out a version of High School Musical of my very own: The 1990’s edition. Okay well, actually, I was in middle school when plaid/flannels and all that other 90’s garb was popular, which left everyone questioning if that girl in the flannel button down and the hiking boots was actually a girl.

But at least this time around some of the 90’s fashions are coming back with a feminine twist. Like Vanessa’s plaid dress: it’s edgy, yes it’s plaid, but it’s gives you a waist AND shows some cleavage (cuz we know V. Hudge wouldn’t go out in public in a drabby table cloth-y thing).

So this week I bring you: Celebrity Chic On The Cheap: Punk-Rock Plaid Goes Glam. I never thought those words would come out of my mouth (much like, “I really like the taste of beer”), but the world of fashion is always surprising me.

Plaid Dress: So this dress isn’t plaid, but it’s tweed and has the adorable bow. Throw it on with some pumps or some chunky black tights and, as it gets colder, a black or white longsleeve shirt under it to give it some texture. It’s adorable and afforadable. (and the same price as a High School Musical DVD)

Other plaid Options: The neckline is on this fabulously plaid dress is retro, the plaid pattern is discreet, and the dress is rockin. Rock it out with a leather jacket in the fall, or keep it sweet with dainty shoes and delicate jewwlry. Read More »

Like Yourself? Then Never Watch ‘High School Musical: Get In the Picture’


You may not have seen this show. In fact, I hope — for your soul’s sake — that you haven’t. But if, like me, you were watching the Olympics last night and just happened to change the channel to ABC, I’m sorry for what your eyes had to see:

Teenagers overacting while singing tired pop songs. Teenagers being pushed to overact while singing tired pop songs by adult “teachers” who seem to want nothing more than to prey on the naivete of theater kids from Milwaukee (or wherever they’re from). Teenagers selling their soul to sing in a music video that will be shown during the credits of High School Musical 3. Nick Lachey. Teenagers being forced to “connect” with each other in ways that will surely get them beat up and ostracized when they get back to real high school. Did I mention pop songs that make me want to hurl? What about Nick Lachey, did I talk about him and how it’s like what the f*ck is he doing on my TV?!

High School Musical: Get In The Picture is disgusting by anyone’s standards. Are these kids talented? Sure. But wasting that raw talent by forcing them to turn inane lyrics into some kind of heartache or life moment is stupid. So is encouraging them to act like Vanessa Hudgens.

So, if you value the contents of your stomach and the opinion you may already have of theater kids, stay the eff away from this reality show. On the other hand, if you enjoy Nick Lachey’s wax-like interpretation of talking, as well as hearing “Bleeding Love” for the 9849th time turned into a duet and shoved into a weird scene about…what? Preppy guy meets 80’s-clad girl?, then by all means, TiVo this sh*t.

Candy Dish: Nothing Says Class Like Cheating and Cowboy Boots

original.jpgApparently, Jamie Lynn Spears’s babydaddy like’s em bleached and in cowboy boots. Classy.

How a boardroom of smart people missed this…I’ll never know

Rambo Reporter: Woman gets shot and keeps on talking

Screamer? You might get fined!

This just in: Facebook might actually help your career

Obama gets hot

Write your paper, toast some bread

That’s right, JLove — fight for acceptance by giving in and getting skinny. That’ll show ‘em

Old guys say the darndest things

You know what “avocado” means, don’t you?

The train never left the station…even though they’re married

I Feel So Dirty: 5 Barely Legal Disney Hearthrobs I Want to Freak

jonas_brothers03_ad.jpg

You know how every once in a while, nothing is on TV, and you’re super bored, and maybe it’s a Friday night and you have no plans, and instead of doing something productive like reading you flip around on your remote and end up watching the Disney Channel? Yeah. Don’t deny.

There’s nothing wrong with a little mindless television for kids, but what happens when you find yourself inexplicably drawn to those fresh-faced young men chirping out that positive and life-affirming Disney dialogue? You feel weird and a little dirty — and then you go online and try to find pictures. Also, any info that would allow you to stop feeling like a pedophile: i.e birthdays before 1991.

Even though all of the nubile young things listed below have all surpassed their 18th year, I can’t help but feel just the slightest bit Creepy-Old-Man-On-The-Bus whenever I look at them. Oh well. What can I say? If there are shirtless pics of these hotties somewhere on the net, I’d look at them.

I might even download. Read More »

MTV’s, The American Mall: I Think I’m In Love

rock_star_guitar.jpgLooks like TV Musicals aren’t just for the tweens (and really embarassed twenty-somethings) anymore: the geniuses behind the High School Musical awesomeness have said TTFN (that’s, Ta Ta For Now, for those of you not in the know) to middle school and moved on up to MTV.

Get ready because next Monday, August 11th, MTV will be premeiring their latest hit, The American Mall.

I just watched the trailer and I. Can’t. Wait. Yes, I said it. And once you watch this badboy (below), you will agree.

I mean, honestly, how can anyone NOT be excited for this:
Singing
Dancing
Drama set to singing and dancing
Crazy Taylor from The O.C.
The fact that it is on MTV and, therefore, not nearly as embarassing as watching HSM (6 times….)
A free movie!

Seriously, invite the girls (and me!) over, make some popcorn (and Sangria) and turn this on.

Watch the trailer after the jump! Read More »

High School Musical 3: Hide Before the Tweens Trample You

I have never seen any version of High School Musical. Besides the fact that most media manufactured for tweens these days gives me a rash, I find Vanessa Hudgens really, really hard to watch. Zac Efron isn’t much better, but at least he’s getting slightly more watchable with age (I’m waiting for the break-out role where Zac attempts to legitimize his acting by playing a retarded boy or drug addict).

But, rash-inducing as it is, you can’t deny that HSM has completely taken over the world to the point where crazy dictators are probably kicking themselves that they didn’t think of it first. Below, your first taste of HSM 3: We All Look Like We’re Made Of Wax (Note: I may have made that title up).


[Also…I would like to offer a $500,000 reward for the head of the man or woman who wrote the lyrics during the basketball game in this trailer. They must be destroyed]