Um. It looks like my grandpa started designing clothes!

Or maybe not. Even he doesn’t wear his pants this high. What were the people at Society for Rational Dress thinking?

Their designs are typically chic, simple and beautiful. But these? These “pants” are pleading for a camel toe. And a nursing home.

And where exactly does the zipper start? What does one wear with a pair of pants that belts at the breasts? Does this look come in capris?

I know that we are trying to move away from the low rise fad that leaves cracks exposed and the infamous muffin top, but this is taking things a bit too far, no?

Someone has heard my prayers.

Maybe it was God, Maybe it was Marc Jacobs, I don’t really know and to be honest, I don’t really care but someone, somewhere has heard my begging and pleading and has done something about it.

A change that makes me so happy, I am twirling around like a 5 year old in my maternity style dress.

Magazines, newspapers, and TV shows alike have been abuzz with “What’s In and Whats Out” for your 2008 wardrobe. And thankfully (or perhaps FINALLY is a better word) I can throw my “Someone’s having a baby dress!” in the trash (and yes someone DID say that to me, to which I proceeded to jump off the nearest bridge)

While I have heard the phrase “return of femininity” the past three years (Fashionistas claimed the baby-doll dress was in fact feminine. I claim that it is a way to make me look like a fat-ass who is ready to pop one out). But this time, the trends for spring/summer are in fact, showing off that we are women.

Belted waists, bodice hugging dresses, flattering pants and a whole lot of bold colors and prints are what you will be seeing this year. Gone are the trapeze dresses. Leggings? So two years ago. Menswear for women, drab colors, skinny jeans tucked into booties, boxy pieces with no shape and oversized cardigans, that we all HAD to have, will be sent away like Lilo being sent to rehab. Read More »

Hooters? Depressing? You don’t say. All I’ve ever had to do was take a look at the horrible orange and white paint job adorning the outside of most Hooters restaurants to know those places are a bevy of bad taste and depression.

Oh yeah, and fifteen year olds.

In my town, Hooters was the place adolescent boys with fake IDs and too much cologne spent their Friday nights when no one their own age would date them.

Hooters was the place high school’s biggest assholes went to feel superior to women who would never look at them in real life, as well as the place a friend’s friend once tried to work at but quit after some perv threw a popcorn shrimp at her boobs.

In conclusion: Hooters is drenched in grossness. Read More »