Dear Hulk Familia,

Please, please go away.

I’m not asking much. I’m just really tired, Hogans. I’m really, really tired of seeing your creepy mugs (and arms and abs…Linda, cover it up!) all over the place, doing and saying more ridic things by the minute.

So, like, two years ago, you were happily filming VH1’s Hogan Knows Best. You seemed like a normal enough family. Hell, that was the whole premise.

And then, It Began.

First there was the separation. Linda and Hulk, I thought you guys were forever! Well, frankly, I was sorry to hear it. I felt bad for you that things had gone awry.

Then Nick got in an accident. At the tender age of 17, he had his first precious DUI.  Not only that, but he managed to take out his best friend, putting him into a lifetime coma. It is a very sad story. However, Nick didn’t seem to feel bad for his friend at all. In fact, he has been too busy whining about jail and how awful it is. Yes, jail is horrible. That’s the idea. Don’t drive drunk and ruin your friend’s life. Read More »

Jail isn’t fun. In fact, jail is pretty miserable. I know, I know, you don’t believe me, right? You always imagined jail to be one non-stop party. Who doesn’t want to be in jail?

Well, Nick Hogan is saying otherwise.

What? He’s trying to tell us that jail is like…bad?!

According to a report in Page Six:

“‘Nick’s doing really bad. He’s struggling to even form a sentence,’ one friend said. ‘They have him in a cell by himself, isolated from the general population, because of threats. He didn’t understand how awful jail really is until now.’”

So there you have it; jail sucks. Well, now I guess Nick will know for the next time he decides to race his Toyota Supra while drunk, leaving his friend in a permanent coma. And shouldn’t he be thrilled he’s in a cell by himself, isolated from the other inmates? I’d count myself lucky to be roommate-less and alone in jail. It could be so, so much worse. Read More »