Remember when Girls Gone Wild used to shame party girls across the country who had one too many body shots on Spring Break and had the bad luck to land in front of a camera? Since when has slutty behavior turned into a profitable asset and a celebrity vehicle? Mini Me’s lover is collecting big after a sex tape “somehow” leaked, and now Eliot Spitzer’s ex-whore is getting a REALITY TV SHOW. I can’t believe that we Americans will actually tune in to the lives of nutjobs like the Lohans, the Kardashians, and now, some hooker who happened to win the jackpot.

When Tila Tequila burst on the scene, she had a great gimmick: the first bisexual reality dating show. But after the Bobby Banhart breakup-scandal, and oh-so-predictable opposite-gender-choosing finale in season 2, there’s not much buzz left in Tequilaville. Bring in the hooker! If you thought Tila’s patented, “How will your parents react when they find out I’m bisexual?” act starts to get old, imagine the “How will your parents react when they find out I’m the whore that ruined Eliot Spitzer’s career?” segment.

Yes, Handprint Entertainment, the fine folks who bring the lives of Pamela Anderson and Nicole Ritchie to the small screen, are in talks with MTV to give Ashley Dupre a shot at love. Read More »

The other day, I was tricked into going to Costco with my Mom. I just really wanted an excuse to wear my SWEET new rain galoshes, so I agreed to go on what I knew would be a torturously long errand. I soon found myself wandering the massive aisles, bored out of my mind, considering buying 600 plastic forks, just so I could use one to poke out my eyes. Maybe then I could go home?

I figured this was a bad idea, so I meandered over to health and beauty, where I knew I could find something to occupy myself with. And then I saw it– a Smashbox Picture Perfect Kit with eyeshadow quad, mini lip gloss trio (with pink leather mirrored case!), mascara, and face highlighter– for $19.99!! The kit came with detailed instructions on how to apply the makeup, much like other cosmetics brands that are now taking the guesswork out of makeup application . I snatched it, threw it inconspicuously into Mom’s cart and tore it open as soon as we were in the car.

Opening up the new makeup kit felt exactly the same way it did that very first time. My Grandma (against my mother’s desperate pleas not to) bought me a GIANT pink and purple kit full of awful pink lipsticks, hooker-blue eye shadow, fake mascara, fucshia blush and glitter, glitter, sweet glitter when I was three. It was then that I fell in love with makeup. I put on all of my face decorations, just like mommy did, every day before I left my house. I sometimes had loaded my face so full of makeup that it couldn’t take anymore, and, consequently, I applied some to my helpless baby brother.

Which brings me to my point. Read More »

I lost my virginity at a 4-hour hooker motel in Bushwick, Brooklyn during a rainstorm at 3am. It was actually meant as a casual escape from a breakdancing party where I did not feel I fit in. Before I knew what I was doing, I was leaning close to the bright-red ear of my then-boyfriend and whispering that I thought tonight was the night. He grabbed my hand and we left without saying goodbye. And the rest is history.

But I digress. From what, I’m not sure.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, yeah, it’s a wild story and it was, actually, a very wild night, but we were safe (well, as safe as you can be in Bushwick). We used condoms. And to me, that’s all that matters.

I feel like the current trend is to act overtly sexual and then be really, really embarrassed about the actual act. It’s okay for 10-year-olds to wear lip gloss and bikinis, but it’s not okay to talk about sex itself. Read More »

So, has anyone else noticed that dolls are getting really slutty?

First, the world had to deal with Bratz. Strange, big headed dolls with too much make-up and really skanky outfits. Dolls that—as far as I can tell—are totally aimed at creating 4th grade fashion disasters.

Besides making it seem cool to be so skinny your head looks like a watermelon, Bratz embody insipidness, sluttiness, and vapidness, limiting girls’ imaginations to taking their dolls to the “mall”, buying their dolls “stuff”, and seeing how many times their doll is mistaken for a hooker on the doll sidewalk.

Gone are the days when girls would be satisfied with a long, frilly pink dress for their dolls. Gone are the innocent one-piece bathing suits and “career” outfits. Now, thigh high stockings, tiny shirts, and skirts so short you can totally almost see plastic doll butt are all the rage.

Illustrating this disgusting theory even further is Barbie’s—or rather, Mattell’s—answer to the Bratz dynasty: My Scene Barbie. Read More »

Ever think to yourself, “Damn, Self, where can I go to find jeans that are not only ugly, but whorish at the same time?”

Well, someone did.

Bikini jeans, the new clothing invention by someone who worships Britney Spears, have begun their decent on fashion, fugging girls up one by one.

These blinding jeans supposedly have their origins in Japan, but after doing a little research, I found them being sold for $80 on a “Bazillion Fashion” website. As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t matter what country is responsible, all that matters is that they cease and desist.

Underwear and jeans? Since when was this combo necessary? Read More »

A few months back, CC covered the College Callgirl, a college student who went on Craigslist and basically put herself up for sale in the personals section. Not prostitution in the virtual world, mind you, (which is also very common these days) but actual prostitution via the C-List.

Not surprising that this is going on all the time, since Craigslist is free, available to everyone 24/7, immensely popular, constantly changing up its listings and crawling with creepy people.

Becoming a hooker is getting easier, thanks to growing technology and the Internet and the fact that hookers are learning how to use it. Hookers are getting smarter! Noooo!

The NY Times reports 70 prostitution arrests in one town alone over the past year, (Nassau County is freaky!) and the story of eight women who traveled to Nassau from all over the country to make some money the hard way. Literally.

Here’s a recent interview with the College Callgirl herself, and it’s pretty interesting. Some highlights:

How often do you use Craigslist to find clients?
I posted ads in the Erotic Services several times a week. My first ad was something like “College girl needs rent help.” I basically said I wasn’t a pro and I wasn’t a supermodel—just a cute, regular girl willing to utilize her talents in exchange for a donation to her “college fund.” Most of those ads [up there] are escort agencies, so I got tons of responses. I’ve also used it as a sex delivery service when I was looking to fulfill a specific fantasy or just too lazy to leave the house. Read More »

Being a hooker isn’t the safest occupation a girl can find herself in; what with all those dark alleyways, freaky Johns, and giant shoes.

But for whatever reason, someone has taken it upon themselves to make it a littler safer—and a lot more futuristic.

The Wired Blog is reporting about a new invention called Platforms from the Aphrodite project, which are—you guessed it—platform heels with a little added science.

These high-tech pumps have a GPS tracking device and alarm installed inside, and once the alarm is set off, the prostitute’s exact location is transmitted to either the police or sex worker’s rights groups.

Platforms are in development right now, and can be tried out (by hookers? Average people?) at Gallery Aferro in Newark, New Jersey in September. Read More »

Now, if you had millions of dollars, tons of fame, and routinely saw yourself on the cover of gossip magazines, you’d think about what you wore to the grocery store, right? I mean, maybe you wouldn’t get dressed to the nines every single day, but you’d at least try to find some cute, comfy things to wear in case the paparazzi happened to be stationed outside your car. Because you’re famous. Famous people get their picture taken.

You’d want to look good, right?

Not if you’re Britney Spears.

These new photographs confirm my suspicions that Ms. Spears has no mirrors in her house. And if she does have them, they’re magic mirrors, which tell her she looks completely normal and tasteful in half a shirt and daisy dukes.

Does B.S (ha, that’s funny) dress like a hooker because she’s kind of unhinged? Is it because she thinks it’s the only way to land a man? Are those short shorts and midriff baring tops an unconscious illustration of low self-esteem, or are they a shield for a woman who doesn’t know any other way to deal with the world? Could she have a missing fashion gene? Is she going blind? Read More »