I like to think of myself as pretty fashion forward, but there are certain things I just cannot get into. They are as follows:

1. Hot Pants. After watching Katy Perry strut her girl-smooching stuff at the 2008 MTV VMAs, I couldn’t get over her outfit. While her hair and makeup was flawless, she was sporting some seriously short-shorts. Maybe it’s because my thighs would look horrendous, or maybe its because I just think shorts that look like underwear are not flattering on anyone, but hot pants are a definite no.

2. The Nicole Richie Headband. I don’t mind pushing your hair back when you need to get it out of your face, but that headband over your hair, Woodstock look that Nicole Richie and the like sport all the time, just doesn’t work for me.

3. Baggy Jeans and Heels. You can thank Katie Holmes for this one. Baggy, loose fitting jeans are for men, ladies. I’m not saying we need to wear ‘em skin tight, but the fall-off-your-hips look and saggy ass is so NOT flattering.

4. Scarves in the Summer. 100 degrees in LA and people are wearing scarves with T-shirts. I don’t get it. Scarves are for the winter peeps, leave ‘em there. Read More »

When the romper (or playsuit, or onesie, or whatever else you want to call it) started to make a comeback last year, my friends and I scoffed. Oversexed American Apparel models showed off velor strappy shorts-and-tank-top hybrids, and I thought to myself: dear God, this can not be happening.

Rompers are for the fashion weirdos, like Chloe Sevigny, but I feared they might start popping up on the general public as well. “You are not five years old”, I thought to myself. “You do not need a one-piece playsuit”.

Well, a year came and went, and now Spring is here and once again the romper is prevalent in stores such as Urban Outfitters and Brooklyn Industries. I popped into my favorite thrift store a few weekends ago with my best friend, and tucked in among the racks of dresses, I spied it: a red velor American Apparel romper. “I’m going to try this on, just to see how ridiculous it looks” I said, adding it to my pile of finds.

I tried it on and emerged from the dressing room, expecting my friend to burst into laughter. She didn’t. Read More »

The Setting: an American Apparel store in Brooklyn
The Characters: 2 girls, about 13 years old, and me

And, scene:

I am waiting to try on some cropped cotton pants, which will be perfect for the new gym I joined.

“Ugh, this is SO tight, I look SO fat!” says one 13 year old girl. She and her friend are occupying the only dressing rooms.

She emerges, in a backless leotard and a skin-tight mini skirt.

Her friend emerges as well, in gold lame hot pants.

“No, you look cute! I like it!”

“But like, you can see my back.”

“Yeah but it’s so cute! My ass looks huge in these,” she says, as they stand in the open dressing room, preening and posing in front of the harshly lit mirror. I am still waiting, but they don’t seem to notice, instead gazing like Narcissus at the river. How inappropriate, I think, that 13-year-old girls are trying on gold lame hot pants. Then I look around and see the life-sized photographs of underage models staring down at me. They look drugged out. They are overly sexualized. Suddenly I don’t want the pants anymore. I throw them down and leave. Read More »