Three days ago, I returned from the first ever Rothbury Festival in Rothbury, Michigan – a 5-day musical event featuring an eclectic range of music, from Dave Matthews to Disco Biscuits to Snoop Dogg. I’m exhausted, my feet are calloused & my cheeks are sunburnt (& freckly!), and maybe it was just all the booze, greenery & glow sticks, but my little spirit is renewed.

After spending a night chillaxin’ in Sherwood Forrest, letting my fatigued body sink into a colorful hammock for two and talk for hours with one of my new best friends over cocktails in combustible corn cups, I knew it was time for a change. A huge, life-changing, effortful change. Something about spending the weekend surrounded by happy, empowering, inspirational people (albeit a little dirty & drugged-up) was a huge, magical, sparkly slap in the face that it’s time for me to conquer, one-by-one, all the things I want to in life.

So, without further adieu, here is my list of sweet stuff I wanna learn.

1. How to give a kick-a** massage. I am OBSESSED with massages. I try to con all my boyfriends, friends, (even boy friends!) to give me little shoulder, back or foot massages (perfect after a long day at work…or shopping). However, I am just as inclined to return the favor because I know how ridiculously nice (and/or orgasm-inducing) a massage can be.

2. How to make sweet jewelry. I used to be the baddest b*tch on the block because I could make friendship bracelets with any color of the rainbow out of any type of string. Unfortunately, I haven’t practiced my art for about, oh, 10 years & I think it’s time for me to get back in the game. But, I sure will have a lot of catching up to do. Read More »

Please note that it has been almost a month since I signed up for my race. I haven’t been to the gym since that initial trip, although I was rejected from said gym when a new front desk worker didn’t even know there was a corporate gym in the building and I had left my ID at home. Instead of delving right into running, I started walking home whenever it was warm enough and I wasn’t heading to class directly from the office.

I’m failing miserably and I haven’t done anything yet.

The walking surprisingly has given me more energy, but I’ve realized that it’s not quite the same as a nice jog or run. Feeling a bit pathetic, I decided I needed to change my diet again and pretend I actually cared about eating healthy food. I traded actually running for giving up chocolate and other sweet snacky foods. I subside largely on vegetables, natural peanut butter, and whole grains. I’m not exactly a vegetarian, but for the most part I don’t really eat meat or seafood more than once or twice a month, so I’ve been trying to find healthy, creative ways to get my protein.

Natural peanut butter is my addiction, with avocados at a close second. They’re not at all the same but they’ve been a good way to get healthy fat. Also have been working on getting protein from beans, lentils, chickpeas, and the like, so I don’t make myself anemic. Read More »

Pandas pressured to procreate–would some panda porn help?

Disney perpetuates false expectations one bridal gown at a time

“The Hills” movie–would you really expect anything less?

Did Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo tie the knot?

Hey mom, can I borrow $4,000 to go to Porn Camp this summer?

Celeb birthday bash I least want to attend

On second thought, Maury–I’ll take care of that paternity test, OK?

John Mayer is awesome. Got it?

Paris Hilton: “I’m an inspiration”

I don’t care what you say: Madonna is fierce

Getting fashion inspiration from TV and movies is nothing new. I can remember riding my bike around my neighborhood during the summer after fourth grade, dressed just like the girls from Now and Then singing “Knock Three Times.”

Of course, there wasn’t a boy who looked like Devon Sawa and no mystery to solve, but if there had been… well, I totally looked the part.

Emulating a star’s style is easier than ever and with Starbrand and the CW Style Shop, all your favorite TV looks are only a click away. And what better time to try out someone else’s look than in college, when you haven’t quite figured out who the hell you are?

With these online TV looks categorized by brand, episode and character, your favorite pieces are easy to find. And best of all, no arduous searching through website after website looking for a really awesome pair of jeans. All the denim in these shops is to the minute.

They have also made it easy to shop for cute basics and affordable outerwear. It’s like having a whole rack of awesome clothes pulled from every different virtual store.

They’ve already done all the work, and for a lazy college girl, these websites are ideal. Work is a word we tend to avoid at all costs. I mean who hasn’t worn their pj’s to class at least once?

Check out the fall fashion gallery after the jump! Read More »

At least Britney Spears is an inspiration to someone.

TMZ has posted a video of artist Ryan Crotty’s alarming “installation” which was based off of the life of everyone’s favorite trainwreck.

Basically a baby doll being force-fed a Pepsi with it’s hand shoved into a bag of Cheetos, Crotty’s art was paraded down the streets of Los Angeles and –thank God– it was all captured by TMZ.

I want to hate on this “artist” so badly, you guys. You have no idea. With his dated “trendy” neckerchief and stupid oversized glasses, he looks no different than any East Village hipster (what’s the LA equivalent? Anyone?).

You know he’s a Perez-reading, VH1-watching, beer guzzling (probably only Pabst, though) dude…except he’s a “creative”-type.

You know what I mean. He shops at H&M and answers to no one!

Ugh. Spare me. This is art? This is what inspires the masses? This is the best we can do?

Either way, can we all agree that with this mockery of art, Britney has officially jumped the shark? Okay, so she’s a bad mother. Kevin Federline is suing her. She’s a crack-pot with bad taste in…everything. Read More »

It may sound shocking, but Paris Hilton has managed to actually help someone by being constantly plastered all over the media. An overweight British woman named Parris was tired of being compared to the waif-like celebrity on a daily basis.

At a size 22, the mother of three felt humiliated by her body and this insecurity heightened every time someone referred to her namesake. She suffered from depression and binge-ate to deal with her overwhelming emotions. Parris avoided social situations at all costs and completely gave up on her decaying appearance.

During a routine trip to the grocery store, overweight Parris piled an excess of junk food on to the check out conveyor.

A tabloid featuring Paris Hilton stared her in the face. Something inside the middle-aged woman snapped. She realized that the only way to combat her over eating was to confront the problem head on.

She discovered a diet program called LighterLife and proceeded to eliminate her status as “Fat Parris”. Read More »