9. I HAVE FRIENDS
As soon as I arrive home from school for summer break I spend the next three months filling my family members in on everything that happened to me throughout the year. I expect them to smile, laugh, cry, and sob at all the appropriate moments in a story and I can’t lie, I get very angry when they don’t. I cannot comprehend why my mom doesn’t find it hilarious that I woke up next to a homeless man one morning. Even my dog is walking out on my, “and one time at school…” stories when August arrives. So it’s always exciting to get back to school and be around the people that star in all my stories.

8. ALCOHOL IS TO GET DRUNK
One of the hardest parts of readjusting to home life is drinking alcohol in moderation. When I first came home my parents would offer me a glass of wine at dinner and I would chug it down and put my glass out for more. They told me I needed to learn moderation, I told them that they needed to learn that if they wanted to get buzzed before the first course they would have to sip a little faster. They suggested I might be an alcoholic, I suggested that they suck. I can’t wait to go back to school, drink wine from a box and take shots of what may or may not be rubbing alcohol and not get stared down for getting drunk before sunset.

7. NO PARENTS
I’m very old now and so its ludicrous for me to have any rules when I’m home. However that doesn’t stop my mother from playing twenty questions every time I go out or come home. How was it? Who was there? Does she like school? What did you drink? Did you buckle up? How much did you tip? Did you see anyone from high school? Really? She got that fat? I love being at school and stumbling home at 3 a.m and having no one care. I love waking up underneath the kitchen table and not having to give anyone a reason why. Read More »

[When CollegeCandy put out a request for a Secret Intern to write an Internship Diary, we got some truly cringe-inducing stories, but “Elisa’s” experience trumped all.

Currently, “Elisa” is interning for a big, flashy 5th Avenue designer. Sounds awesome, right? Well, read the first installment HERE, and then read on…]

Who knew that a “marketing” internship actually meant “free physical labor”??

I told myself that I would start working out this summer, but I never thought that lifting and cardio would start at my internship. Apparently The Designer felt that she needed to repaint her whole store, so a few days ago we had to move everything down to the basement, and then move it back up the next day. Great… and to top it off, she’s OCD with the displays.

Shoot me now. Read More »

The summer internship. You’ve worked your ass off trying to get it, sending in resumes, cold calling, spending hours in your school’s career office…and now you’re about to start. Nervous? Feeling strangely and suddenly unqualified? Packing to move to another place? This second installment of Summer Do’s and Don’ts tackles the sometimes fun, sometimes insane, experience of working for little to no pay.

• Do be prepared to know nothing initially. As Miss Control Freak USA, I hate being clueless, but it’s usually the case with internships. You’re hitting the ground running, being expected to learn everything in a day or so, but you can’t know it until someone tells you. Allow yourself to sit back and acknowledge the fact that everyone has first days, and no one is very good at them.

• Don’t get discouraged during your first week. Well, I mean, you can, but don’t let that discouragement psyche you out. Things will get better and become more familiar the longer you stay and the more open you are to putting in good work. Everyone has first days, and everyone also has first weeks. You’re not the only one who’s eaten alone on day three by the fountain in the middle of Madison Square Park, fighting off pigeons and some weird three-year-old kid who won’t stop talking about sharks. Read More »

I have a little claim to fame.

Well, let’s not kid ourselves—I have lots of claims to fame, some not fit for print—but this one has both made people shake their heads at my ridiculousness and saved me valuable time and energy. What is it? Why, my habit of working one day at a new internship and then promptly quitting.

Yes, it’s true. In fact, I just did it again two days ago.

And I’m glad.

It seems strange to work so hard for something, namely, a summer internship, and then leave after a day. But I’m here to tell you it’s not strange or lazy, provided you’re doing it for the right reasons.

I was pumped about this internship. It was with an organization I respected, was involved in exactly what I want to be involved in once grad school ends and the Loan Monster starts nipping at my heels, and the people connected seemed great. I was optimistic that the last summer internship of my life would truly make use of the talents I’ve been spending thousands of dollars to foster.

But alas, on the first day, it became clear that this was not to be. The morning started out with menial tasks, and the literary manager—someone I thought I’d be working for—hardly looked in my direction except to ask me to address an envelope for him (why the presence of interns make people forget how to do the simplest tasks, I’ll never know). Five hours into the day I was walking around New York, lugging huge packages across midtown and deciding just how and when I’d say goodbye.

But wait! You say, couldn’t that just have been a case of the First Days?

Read More »

You know you’ve already thought about him, though you might not have met him yet. He’s that dreamy guy in the office, the hottie who looks so incredibly good in his suit that you can’t help but fantasize about what he looks like underneath it.

Girls, take my advice. Keep the guy in his suit, and keep your professional relationship professional.

Summer internships have become a right of passage of sorts, offering invaluable experience (not to mention recommendations) that can shape your future. The easiest way to mess it up, and quite possibly ruin your summer? Hooking up with a full-time employee in your office.

Piece of cake, you say. You wouldn’t want to jeopardize your future, or a potential job offer, so you’ll find some other way to release your sexual energy. Except it’s not always so easy. For one, depending on where you decide to spend your summer, you could be more or less on your own, with not a lot of friends to fall back on. Read More »