Alcohol is my oyster. It is my aphrodisiac. It turns me on. It makes me want to hump anything on two legs (and the occasional wall). Give me a few Vodka/Soda’s and I am like a frat boy in heat.

Grrr.

That means that, against my better judgment, I often let my loins do the talkin’ and follow them wherever (and with whomever) they decide. And usually they decide to head home for a little intoxicated fun. Unless they are over-ruled by my belly, in which case we make a pit-stop for breadsticks en route to the fun.

And fun we have.

But drunk sex isn’t all “Ooo”s, “Ahhh”s, and “OH MY GOD!”s… Yes, there are some downsides to these late night trysts. If you are one to think before you act (unlike me and my unruly libido), you may want to consider some of the pros and cons to Not-So-Sober Sex before you head home with a gent.

Pro: Your inhibitions go out the window.
Con: Your ability to tell if someone is really attractive goes out the window.

Pro: It feels (so) good
Con: The motion of the ocean might make you hurl

Pro: You try a bunch of crazy sh*t
Con: You try (and fail at) a bunch of crazy sh*t. Read More »

You know those mornings. The ones when you and your girlfriends gather from your various places of shacking over lots of water and ibuprofen to remind each other of the hilarity that went down the night before. Amid all of the laughter (and reviewing of pictures….to jog your memory), you suddenly realize just what happened: the worst thing ever. And it was horrible. And it may or may not have been one of these:

5. A lost wallet and/or clutch. This is particularly disturbing because it is usually the first thing that hits you in the morning, well before you’ve had any time to nurse the hangover you earned. It feels very similar to being on a deserted island that smells strongly of vodka and lime. You are cell-less, cutting off contact with the outside world. With credit card whereabouts unknown and no proof of identity, you are left defenseless against fraud. If you are underage, there is the heavy burden of finding a new fake i.d. The brand new lip gloss and powder from MAC that you inevitably JUST bought are gone forever. Worst of all, your dear, loyal, and perfectly fashionable clutch will never be wedged into your armpit for pictures or table dancing ever again. R.I.P. Limited edition Coach Python and Boucle clutch. You will be missed.

4. The guy you went home with. Okay, last night this guy was h-o-t! He was witty and charming and so attentive to your needs; not once did he let you have an empty glass! Whether you met him at the pre-party, the bar, or on the way home (never a good sign), this dude - who seemed like a great idea at the time - is now nothing more than a big (or worse, tiny) mistake. Often, this error in judgment will use trickery and promises of rides on his family’s yacht to get you home with him, but come morning all he can offer is a ride home…if you’re lucky. High-tail it out of there and head to the nearest health clinic to make sure all he has given you is a bad memory. Read More »