She’ll give you a lap dance, as long as you hold her cane

I guess I’m not the only one who has no idea how to do that damn self breast exam

How to “unlock” your iPhone 3G

Sure! Let’s define Birth Control as abortion!! Sounds like a plan, George W!!!

Yo, stop buying sh*t

I always thought they were recycling this stuff

Oh man, these Belugas are seriously tripping me out

Some best friend she is

Eat your Pork Rinds, Billy! They’re good for you

Sarah Jessica Parker’s Mole…ohmygod you guys, it’s gone!!

Dear Steve Jobs,

I have had my iPhone for almost a year now. I love it. I love how bright the screen is, I love how much it can do and I love having everything I need in the palm of my hand. In fact, I also love my MacBook. I am an Apple girl to the core (no pun intended…I am NOT in the mood for jokes right now).

At least, I was until this morning. All week everyone has been talking about 2 things: the new (faster, cheaper, better) iPhone and all the new applications that would be available for both iPhones. Being a current user, I didn’t care much about the new phone (except for the fact that it is FASTER, CHEAPER and BETTER…thankyouverymuch), but I couldn’t wait to get my hands on some of the fun new things I’d be able to download.

So, I woke up this morning, plugged in my phone and installed the new updates. As it was all loading up and getting ready I shopped the new App Store and planned what I was going to buy. Crosswords! Blackjack! So many fun games!

But wait. That wasn’t going to happen for me. No, because my phone got JACKED UP. Completely wiped. Unable to be recognized by my computer. Totally. un-useable.

I had a brief meltdown that included tears, a donut (you owe me a dollar) and a lot of profanity before I composed myself enough to get to the nearest Apple store for some Genius help. And, of course, that was a bust too. Because there were 4,000 people in line trying to buy the new iPhone and, OF COURSE, no one was able to do tech support today. Read More »