John McCain wants to lick Obama’s booty.

Britney Spears is hot… even when she doesn’t shave her airmpits.

Why didn’t any of the finalists on Project Runway show dresses in plaid?

Amy Poehler loves smart girls who party.

Common wants to becomes the next Christian Bale.

Angelina looks beyond sexy schmoozing on the Today Show.

Scary Spice is back to being very scary.

How to help when a friend is depressed

Dirt cheap and cute: Halloween costumes on a budget

Diane von Furstenberg: designer and comic book writer?

Christina Aguilera looks like a tranny.

Google is about to crush the iPhone!

Is your laptop super old (like, from freshman year?!) and super slow?
Did you spill beer on your computer last time you had people over to pre-party?
Did your drunk roommate accidentally confuse your desk for the bathroom?

In other words, do you need a new laptop? Or, maybe, just really, really want one?

Good news: Apple is announcing (right now, in fact!) their newest MacBooks and MacBook Pros. Yes, sucks for me and my MacBook purchase back in June, but not for you, college student who totally can get a sweet new laptop today! I am totes living vicariously through you.

Rumor has it that there is gonna be some touchscreen technology just like the iPhone/iPod Touch (!!!) and maybe some extra memory (boring). If you are dorky like we are, you can follow the entire announcement/meeting thingy online, or just check out the Apple Store later.

What great news for a Tuesday. Steve Jobs is always the light at the end of a very dark, depressing and economically crumbling tunnel.

Hef’s new twins sure love their self-tanner

…And his third girlfriend is still in college!

Britney can’t drive

“Kids”, listen to Diddy!

Courtney Cox loves her forehead too much

Hermione checks out Hahhhvahhrd

Sting loves this chick — I am jealous

Angie got a “Mommy Tuck“?

LaBeouf and ‘douche’ don’t exactly rhyme, but…

Who cares about this chick?

Alien baby or not, she sure is cute.

Movies so bad they’re…real?

Admit it, you want a Theremin!

The theme of last night’s Gossip Girl episode was post-dating awkwardness, as displayed by Serena and Dan, Lily and Rufus, and Vanessa and Nate. The ep also had at least two major shockers, some really random limited-time alliances (Chuck giving Dan a guy-code peptalk, what?), and Ed Westwick in a purple suit that looked like it was left over from Pee Wee Herman on Ice. I guess GG’s wardrobe department can’t win them all.

Three episodes into the season, and we’re just now getting into Back-to-School season. Hence, the lavish drama-inducing party is replaced by upscale bars that serve teenagers, and the Colorful-Martini-on-White-Dress shtick from the Vitamin Water party is replaced by some sort of acid formula that burns the victims’ hair right off her scalp. Ouch.

Am I getting ahead of myself? Here’s what you need to know: Serena and Dan are each having qualms about seeing each other back at school, while Blair and her drones are preparing for their yearly initiation of potential newbies (which Jenny failed at last year). This creates the perfect set-up for new character Amanda’s entrance. Just as Blair explains to Serena that whomever dates first wins, bam! Dan bumps into Amanda, which can only have a tragic outcome. Read More »

Move over Crackberry. Step aside, iPhone. There’s a new boy in town and he aims to be bigger and better than his predecessors. (Note: and, no, John McCain didn’t invent this one, either.)

Rumors have been circling for awhile now that Google would be creating a phone, and in just a few days we will finally get to see it. It is called the Dream, which is quite a name to live up to. The information about this badboy is being kept under major lock and key, but many people (read: techy geeks) are sure that this phone will give Apple a run for its money.

If you are really nerdy, like me, you can watch the demo video to see what The Dream has to offer. But if you don’t want to waste 7 minutes, I can sum it up for you:

It looks and acts a lot like the iPhone: touchscreen, internet, Google maps…

I don’t know much about technology, or programming or phones (beyond texting), but I am not sure this Google phone is so revolutionary. I guess I’ll just have to wait until September 23rd to see. For now, I’m holding tight to my iPhone.

Why? Because, as usual, Steve Jobs and his cronies have released a newer, better Nano. Poor 3rd generation Nano; so short and squat. Now she’s getting overshadowed by her taller, thinner replacement.

I know how that goes.

The new Nano - built with cleaner and less toxic materials - also comes in a full rainbow of colors and is the perfect combo of portability and function (sorta like this guy). New features include longer battery life, a larger screen and the landscape view for viewing cover flow and movies.

The coolest thing about the Nano, though, is that you just have to give it a little shake to shuffle your songs. That might be the coolest thing ever. And the reason why, as usual, I will be buying another Nano.

Damn you, Steve Jobs. DAMN YOU.

The time has come for someone to stand up and scream at the top of their lungs, “America, stop being disgusting and sexualizing 15-year-old girls!!” and I’m not afraid to be that someone. Because the media can longer be counted on to have a brain, because adult celebrity bloggers see it fit to go after girls who can’t even drive yet, and because we as a nation are still. fixated. with. high. school, the cloud of obsession seems to have blinded everyone to the fact that there is something inherently wrong with stalking little girls.

Because these ARE little girls we’re talking about. Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Taylor Momsen. When we’re not urging them to slather on the eyeliner and hike up their skirts, we’re glamorizing their world, turning high school into a multi-million dollar soap opera where everyone is scheming or talking like 30 Somethings or having sex with anything that purses it’s lips. For those of us who remember high school without the Hollywood Glasses, you’ll recall that no matter where you went, it was decidedly unglamorous. It was boring, sometimes lonely, a lot awkward, and stuffed to the brim with tests, feeble attempts to fit in, and college application essays.

Ask any mother today who isn’t on crack if she’d be happy with her 15-year-old having sex, and she’d blurt the word no faster than you could think it. When Ms. Cyrus’s cellphone is hacked into and her frighteningly-too-old half naked poses are stuffed onto the world wide web, we’re “horrified”. But when she walks around with a full face of makeup, hair extensions, high heels, and revealing clothing, she’s just being a “teen star”. The Lolita posing is too overtly sexual; while the “Disney Vamp” is just subtle enough to keep us from feeling guilty. Read More »

Women’s social issues have been treated in programs geared towards teens for ages. Remember when DJ Tanner went on a crash diet so she could look good in a bathing suit, and then passed out on a stairclimber?

On Saved by the Bell, Elizabeth Berkley gained pre-Showgirls notoriety, for the famous Jessie Spano Caffeine Pill Breakdown (I’m so excited! I’m so scared!). Of course, Full House and SBTB were heart-warming sitcoms, where everyone learns their lesson in the end, and move away from their self-destructive behavior, never to mention anorexia, bullimia, or drug abuse ever again.

The breakout Canadian teen sensation, Degrassi, which airs in the US on The N network, covers a variety of teen issues, without the cavity-inducing sugary sweetness of the stuff we grew up on. Among the kids who dabble in drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, and bi-polar disorder, Degrassi introduced the world to Ellie Nash, who is a cutter.

I’m too old for Degrassi, but I don’t care. I’m pretty much obsessed with it. The best part about the show is that it doesn’t sweep the issues under the rug at the end of each 22-minute episode. And because the writers have the balls to “Go There.” I mean, come on: we all know the caffeine-pill incident was a stand-in for a harder drug, like speed or something, but hard drugs don’t exist at Bayside High.

I remember when the cutting craze swept my middle school. I have no idea who started it, or why it caught on, but at my school, cutting was the iPhone of the late 90’s. Read More »