The economy is in the hole and the job market sucks. You thought you were screwed, but not anymore.

The FBI is currently looking to fill 850 agent positions and over 2,000 other spots!

This is the biggest FBI hiring spree since 9/11, and probably the biggest hiring spree this country has seen all year. While everyone else is firing people, the FBI needs men and women with all sorts of experience.

Don’t worry, though; the high number of openings does not mean the U.S. is about to be blown to smitherenes. The FBI assured, “The FBI’s unexpectedly large number of job openings results more from attrition and a wave of retirements than from growing government appropriations.”

Phew.

How cool would it be to be an FBI agent? Think about the possibilities: hot male agents, top secret information, all those awesome gadgets that Jack Bauer gets to use…

Too bad there’s a background check and drug test. Count me out.

Is it just me, or is Jack Bauer hotter than Keifer Sutherland?

Is sex better with a condom?

The perfect stocking stuffer for bacon lovers in your life.

Fight the urge to splurge, people.

J.K. Rowling can’t lose.

Backwards sweaters are all the rage.

Why finals suck.

Wild camels are ruining Australia.

Wait, people actually play Russian Roulette?

Maybe our thirties won’t be so bad, after all.

The perfect holiday gift for your more earth conscious friends.

Presenting: the best facial cleanser of all time.

In light of Heather Locklear’s recent arrest while driving under the influence of something (read: drugs), we started thinking about the obscene number of stars heading to court/jail lately. Their visits are so frequent, in fact, that it seems we see celebs more often donning orange jumpsuits than strutting the red carpet.

We thought it was only appropriate, then, to honor these fallen celebrities. For without them we would never know the repercussions of driving drunk, grabbing the breast of an underage girl, or buying and selling drugs from the back of a limo. These celebrities have taken the fall so we don’t have to. It’s as if they are channeling Jesus and sacrificing themselves for our sins.

Ok, maybe not. But their mugshot pictures are pretty badass.

There is really nothing better than seeing an ultra glamorous superstar looking like a hot mess at the police station. Especially when that superstar is strung out on some really strong sh*t. So, we took it upon ourselves to pull our Top 10 Celebrity Mugshots together for your amusement. Scroll through, enjoy, and practice your voting skills for this year’s election by choosing your favorite to win the 2008 CollegeCandy Mugshot of the Year award. (There is really no prize, award ceremony, or thank-you speech, but we still want to know which hot tranny mess is your favorite.)

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Read More »

Katie Holmes seems to spend her life in a constant state of grim understanding: she’s married to Tom Cruise whether she likes it or not, Tom Cruise is weird and removed from reality, Tom Cruise does not want her to be more famous than him so he uses his Scientology mind powers to render everything she touches unsuccessful, Tom Cruise’s first batch of kids look to her for help because their adoptive dad has completely forgotten about them, and the Paparazzi will never let her go because they’re just waiting for the day when she falls to the ground, pounds the pavement with her fists, and tells the world she just can”t take it anymore.

You know how I know Katie Holmes lives with these thoughts everday? Because of her face. The girl don’t.ever.smile anymore. Let’s go on a photo journey to exemplify this:

Is she smiling? No. Read More »

I love me some girly TV just like the rest of us. I don’t know if I love or hate Lauren Conrad, but I absolutely have to know what is going on in her life. But The Hills is not must-see TV for me. The one show that under no circumstances whatsoever I can’t miss, is 24. Jack Bauer would kick Spencer’s ass into the next millennium. And I’d cheer. Maybe he’d rip out his big, too white teeth one by one first….

Perhaps I’m a classic case of a good (ish) girl who falls in love with bad boys because seriously—when Jack starts round kicking, and pummeling some evil, leather jacket clad terrorist—I almost slide off my seat. It’s just so… masculine. Damn.

This season has been slightly disappointing—every episode looks like its going to be the “big one” where Jack takes out at least 7 people in a five minute time span, and then… nothing. But with only three episodes left, you can bet blood will be shed. Which is why this is the time to get together with your friends, and play the 24 drinking game.

There are many different variations of the game, but the most common rules are—Jack kills someone, take a shot. Jack says “damn it,” take a shot. Jack goes rogue, take a shot. And even though 24 is the best show ever of all time (and don’t try and argue with me—you are entitled to your opinion, but I will never be swayed), there are certain things you can count on that the script writers always throw in there. Which is why everyone ends up hammered by the end of this. Read More »