It looks as though the gossip gods were smiling down on this week because as we start the weekend there was one last dramatic event taking place over in Hollywood.

Nicole Richie, accompanied by her boyfriend and baby daddy Joel Madden, pled guilty to her DUI charge she picked up from the December 2006 DUI incident that involved prescription pills, marijuana, and alcohol.

Today, she was finally sentenced by a California judge.

The judge seemed rather leinient on Richie, who not only let her off with just 4 days to serve, but knocked off a day because he counted the 6 hours Richie served when the arrest occured. Not only that, but Richie has a choice of county or city jail. Now, serving time is a depressing prospect anyway and I don’t really know what jail is better in this situation, but damn. Couldn’t he have like, yelled at her a little or something? Read More »

The only reason I hesitate to proclaim LL’s career completely dead is because comebacks are so big these days. She could land herself a E! series, or maybe even some giant Barbara Walters special where she cries. There’s a chance Lindsay could rise again.

But just in case she doesn’t, Hollywood had better start looking for new big-boobed starlets.

A New York Times article (yup, even the grand old NYT is digging through Tinseltown garbage these days…) claims now that Lindsay has been arrested twice, she’s basically uninsuriable. And when you’re uninsuriable in Hollywood, everything fades to black.

If a production company can’t be sure a star will show up for work or stay out of jail, it’s unlikely she’ll be hired. One missed day can mean hundreds of thousands of dollars down the drain, and almost no actress is worth that kind of anxiety. Combine Lindsay’s unpredictable behavior with her less-than-stellar film record, and you’ve got a girl who can be (and most likely already has been) replaced.

Poor Things, a small independent film (that was supposed to begin shooting shortly) in which LiLo had only a supporting role, was recently plagued by rumors of an early demise after Lindsay’s first rehab stint. Since the starlet was arrested a second time, the movie’s producer claims the film is “moving on” – supposedly without the troubled star. Read More »

A nation yawned simultaneously for a full hour yesterday as Paris Hilton made her first public appearance since being released from jail. America was on the edge of its seat waiting anxiously for Hilton to reveal what actually happened behind bars and we definitely got our answer: Absolutely nothing. She was not in the general population; she was not harassed by evil prison guards nor was she somebody’s bitch. In fact, she got a chance to spend some quality time with her favorite person on the face of the Earth: Paris Hilton.

Paris came to a few profound conclusions in jail. She said to King, “I took that time just to get to know myself”. And get to know herself she did, realizing that she is fatally claustrophobic, extremely religious and hopes to train herself to talk in a lower voice to be taken more seriously. In terms of Paris’ early exit — then surprising entrance back into Lynwood jail, it was her claustrophobia that led her home as the Sheriff to the stars considered it a life threatening condition. Also discovered was Paris’ struggle with Attention Deficit Disorder for which she takes consistent medication. Generally, the disease is treated with Adderall, a common prescription used recreationally as an amphetamine (can‘t be good for the claustrophobia). But none the less, Hilton maintains that she has never taken drugs as she contradicts on film here where she encounters a man covered in cocaine who asks her to do a line off of his chest. Paris declines and says, “No, I can’t. I’ve done like ten”. Hilton has never been known for her honesty or her squeaky clean image. If anything, people seem to think that she is an immoral reckless spoiled brat — and in some ways they may be right. But, special treatment or not, 3 weeks on lock down can not be an easy feat. Read More »

Wow, time really does fly when you’re having fun! I feel like it was just yesterday that Paris H. was arrested for drunk driving, thrown in jail, taken out of jail and put on house arrest, put back in jail, wrote an apology letter at the level of a third - grader, and decided to declare herself a changed woman to NBC  Larry King for a paltry sum of $1 million.

So much can happen in 23 days!

And now, as of 12:16 a.m. today, Paris is free. She has done her hard time with the grace of a true American heiress.

Her release was orchestrated with proper pomp and circumstance: she was allowed to trade her jumpsuit and handcuffs for a springy jacket and accessories and walk the cement carpet out of the block into a black Escalade, with her proud parents waiting inside. To congratulate her on a job well done, Rick and Kathy Hilton presented their daughter with flowers and an “aluminum - foil - wrapped snack.”

Bravo, Paris, brav0! I am anxiously awaiting your next performance. What will it be?

I was really hoping we’d all forget about Paris Hilton.

Really. After her trail / jail fiasco was recorded on every news station in America (even CNN covered it…although every time they did the anchors looked uncomfortable), I honestly thought the overexposure was going to be enough to make us finally not care about what Paris Hilton does, says, or cries about.

But just like the time I bought those designer jeans that didn’t quite fit and convinced myself I’d lose the weight—I was wrong.

Not only has Paris been interviewed via telephone by E! (Right. She’s not getting special treatment. Just conducting a major interview with a major television channel while she sits in jail…) she’s also in talks to appear on a primetime NBC show as soon as she’s released. And how much will the boring blond get for the trying ordeal of appearing on a nationally syndicated TV show? $1 million dollars.

“You know my gratitude has gone up so much and I just realize that the media used me to make fun of and be mean about it” Paris whined to Ryan Seacrest on his E! show on Thursday. “Frankly [I’m] sick of it and I want to use my fame in a good way.” Read More »

Looks like we’re not the only ones whose summer agenda revolves around getting a decent sun tan, female prisoners in Gothenburg, Sweden have decided to fight for their, uh, right… to wear bikinis and sunbathe (I think that falls somewhere in between freedom of assembly and that one about arms). Even in jail, these girls demand to stay sexy, can’t argue with that.

Besides, if make-up sex is as treasured as it is, I’m sure there’s nothing better than “I’m out of the slammer can you believe it’s been three to five years” sex. Come on, no sane ex-felon would want to be pasty and pale for that.

Since bikinis are not standard issue prison clothing (surprised?), inmates are claiming that they are being sexually discriminated. The girls argue that male inmates can simply take off their shirt and get a well balanced glow while female prisoners don’t have that same luxury.

These fiesty jailbirds are currently petitioning the local prison council, and attempting to challenge them with sex discrimination charges.

Crafty, ladies! Read More »

• Paris refuses toilet time in fear of the Prison Guard Paparazzi. (TMZ)

• Tony Soprano is dead. Wanna bet? (bodogbeat)

• Ocean’s 13 unlucky at the Box Office. (DeadlineHollywood)

• Kate Moss caught in her knickers again. (fashionising)

Is Paris getting a raw deal?

She must really be a better actress than we all thought, because it seems famous AAer Lindsay Loaded did nothing at rebab except stare at herself in the mirror.

Perez Hilton is reporting that Ms. Blohan was involved in an accident early Saturday morning in LA. “Her car was towed, she went to the hospital to treat injuries” and was also allegedly found to be intoxicated.

Here’s hoping Lohan will have to go to court, be charged, and sent to jail like everyone’s favorite blond heiress. It’s time stupid celebrities start paying for their mistakes like the rest of us. No more taps on the wrist and rehab stints. A rendezvous in a nice steel-bar bungalow is the only way to teach Hollywood’s worst that they’re not above the law.

What do you think, lovelies? Jail too harsh for Lohan, or just right?