Barcelona was so 2006. Anyone who’s anything knows 2007 is all about the Clink. Just ask Paris Hilton. According to TMZ.com, Ms. Hilton will be spending 45 days this Summer in the Century Regional Detention Facility in beautiful Lynwood, California.

Beginning June 5th, the lovely Paris will forgo Summer abroad for a Summer behind bars.

Orange is the new black when it comes to jumpsuits. Whether or not she will spend a single day behind bars remains to be seen.

But if the LA County DA has anything to say about it, be careful how you handle your soap Ms. Hilton. There will be no longer be any paparazzi to cover your ass.

Will Paris Go To Jail?

We’ve all heard about Asshole McPerv’s recent legal snafus, and apparently, he’s paying for them—with jail time.

All the money in the world couldn’t save Joe ‘Douchbag’ Francis from spending the first part of spring cooped up in a cell, and I guess the orange jumpsuit life isn’t suiting him at all.

“He can’t sleep. He hasn’t eaten properly. He’s prone to anxiety attacks” claims Francis’s laywer, “He came back to his cell from a (lawyer) visit (this past week) and was told that he wouldn’t get his Xanax pill because he’d missed the medication cart that day. He went into a full-blown anxiety attack.”

May I be the first one to start laughing hysterically? Guess Mr. ‘Girls Gone Wild’ isn’t as cool as everybody thought. Guess Mr. ‘Girls Gone Wild’ is just as prissy as the chicks he feeds alcohol to until they undress themselves for a camera. He must have been so busy making poor man’s porn that he missed the memo that clearly explains how jail is not a vacation.

I’m sure he’ll get out too early and pay his way into a quick trial, but for every day he’s behind bars, I smile a little wider. Let this be a lesson to assholes everywhere: eventually, it’s all gonna catch up to you, and when it does, ain’t nothin’ gonna save your butt from feeling the burn of Karma’s payback.