Apparently, Jamie Lynn Spears’s babydaddy like’s em bleached and in cowboy boots. Classy.

How a boardroom of smart people missed this…I’ll never know

Rambo Reporter: Woman gets shot and keeps on talking

Screamer? You might get fined!

This just in: Facebook might actually help your career

Obama gets hot

Write your paper, toast some bread

That’s right, JLove — fight for acceptance by giving in and getting skinny. That’ll show ‘em

Old guys say the darndest things

You know what “avocado” means, don’t you?

The train never left the station…even though they’re married

THE JAMIE-LYNN SPEARS BABY IS REAL!

Moving out–more than a Billy Joel song

Bartender, bartender, make me a match

LOL I always confuse a live bat in my bra for my cell

Greatest. Invention. Ever.

Whoa–MTV is involved with something beyond “The Hills”

A French Rapper might go to jail for his lyrics, yet we still allow Paris Hilton to sing

Old habits die hard…right, Mary-Kate?

How many calories does sex actually burn?

A-Rod sure does have a lot of lady friends…

We’re the dumbest generation, huh?

This picture is really, really awkward

Hottie of the Week
I can’t believe that I’m going to say this – but if you forget the infidelity and the fact that he probably gets his hair Japanese straightened, Mario Lopez has a smokin’ body.

Song of the week
Katy Perry, “I Kissed a Girl”.
I hate this song.

Freak Show
Verne Troyer/Mini-Me sex tape. Why don’t they just pour acid on our eyes?

Am I the only one who thinks that Jennifer Lopez would be absolutely frightening if you pissed her off even just a tiny bit? FYI, you may get the store discount if you ask nicely and don’t have your bodyguard show a gun to the shop girl. Read More »

Fashion
God, Charlize Theron is hot. And I love what she’s wearing.

Hottie of the Week
David Beckham. I hate his voice but man do I love him nearly naked.

Babies Babies Babies
Jamie Lynn Spears gave birth to a baby girl. Please don’t disappoint me by giving her a non-Hollywood crazy name. I don’t want to hear this talk of you giving her a pretty, normal name like Maddie.

Can everyone stop blaming teen pregnancies on “Juno”? I’m sure that movie didn’t influence a group of Massachusetts teenagers to make a ‘pregnancy pact.’

Karolina Kurkova, probably best known for her Victoria’s Secret spreads, “shocked” everyone who saw her “love handles and cellulite” at fashion week in Sao Paolo, Brazil. Karolina apologizes to everyone for eating and for having a booty. Read More »

Hottie of the week
Oh, hellooooo, Johnny Depp. I didn’t mean to watch the MTV Movie Awards, but the two times that I accidentally watched, there he was. He banged my eyes stupid.

Kurt Cobain’s ashes were stolen from Courtney Love. Did she stage that so that people would talk about her? Seriously, that’s awful. I miss Kurt and Nirvana.

Fashion
Where are you going Grandma?
Lily Allen, Bambi spewing blood on your dress freaks me out – it is not fashionable.

You need to know that despite what TMZ told you, Jamie Lynn Spears will not raise her child in a barn .

Song of the Week
Still with the “Lollipop“.

Politics
Finally, the dems have a candidate.

Quote of the year
“If I punched every bitch who called me fat, it would be dead bitches all up and down the highway” I’m gonna say it – I love Star Jones.

The WTF of the week
How the hell do two toolboxes like Heidi and Spencer make millions of dollars? That’s it – I’m never writing about these two ever again. $500 might grow on their tool tree just for me typing this about them. P.S. Heidi, just design your sh*tty clothes because you are never gonna get an Oscar. Read More »

OMFG!!! Madonna and JT are HOT in her new video

Mariah trumps The King

Oh hey, Jamie Lynn Spears is still pregnant

When I think gold lamé leggings, I think Woody Allen

McDreamy for McAvon

Hillary is f*cking Obama

Heidi Montag is, like, totally a feminist hero

Dita Von Teese: former hardcore porn star, blonde

Leno apologizes over gay remarks

Science explains what therapy doesn’t: mama’s boys

It seems “the pill” is the only drug losing popularity in Hollywood. Can Juicy Maternity handle the baby boom?

Minnie Driver is now one of many pregnant celebs complete with their very own website to celebrate the joys of expecting ! She’s joining the ranks of 24’s Mary Lynn Rajskub, Halle Berry, Gwen and Gavin, who are expecting their second, the unsurprising and to-be-confirmed Brangelina, Jessica Alba, AND Ethan Hawke’s ex-nanny (to his children we presume). The Bellini baskets will be going like hotcakes!

Parenthood is the new Chloe bag, and if Nicole Richie can pull it off, Little Spears just had to jump on that bandwagon. You can practically hear Brit screaming “She’s copying me!” from UCLA’s medical center. Let’s hope Jamie Lynn didn’t take K-Fed out of her speed dial on the off chance she keeps her little bundle of scandal after toughing out the pregnancy… He’s full of post-partum career tips, and maybe can even write a birthday rap! Read More »

• Jamie Lynn Spears is giving up her baby.

• Super-sexy celeb hair makeovers

• Why is Bill Maher not on this list?

• Cameron Diaz and Eva Mendes love to burp and fart

• Let your soul glow with Mr. Rays Hair Weave.

• If you don’t know this band, you should.

• The best worst collection of Olan Mills photos ever

• Nobody’s interested in Ashlee Simpson’s nose

• Say bye bye to John Mayer the blogger

• Dita Von Teese is the new Wonderbra Wondergirl.

• Panic at the Disco is hitting the road.

When lawyers are afraid of you, you know there’s a problem.

As of Wednesday, Britney Spears’s custody battle just got a little more unbelievable. Her lawyers, the law firm Trope and Trope, asked to be “relieved” as her attorneys, explaining that communicating with the spiraling celebrity is “impossible.”

I mean, what is the girl doing?

How far gone do you have to be to ignore high-powered lawyers who’s only job is to help you? It’s like she’s totally forgotten about the two kids she squeezed out of her vajayjay only a few years ago, and instead believes her days should be spent driving around aimlessly and sleeping with nasty, nasty paparazzi (who are most likely getting ready to sell their story to the first magazine that jumps).

Even though there’s an election coming up, there’s global warming to think about, and things overseas aren’t looking that good, I think America needs to band together to get B. Spears off the streets and into rehab. This is something we can all connect to; all ages and races and economic standing, no matter who you are, you know this chick ain’t right in the head. Read More »

Finding ourselves restless and deliriously ADD by Christmas night, my sister and I escaped our minimum security prison (i.e. home) for a movie date to see Juno, that new film with uber-talented Ellen Page, so-endearing-you-want-to-bite-him Michael Cera, and Jennifer Garner.

Anyway, halfway through the movie I realized how strange it is how much pregnancy has been belittled through the media lately? First there was Knocked Up, which basically made a huge (and addictively funny) joke out of getting preggo off a one-night-stand, something I’m sure girls everywhere didn’t exactly have on their Christmas list.

Then, there’s the crazy celebrity baby boom what with J.Lo, Nicole Richie, Jessica Alba, oh hey and now, the Mini Spears, now that’s hot. With so many preg-celebs with tabloids booming, “Mommy-to-be-still beautiful as ever!” and whatever else they cook up, I just feel like everwhere I turn it’s preggo this preggo that. Read More »