Bristol Palin\'s Baby. Scary.

So, I’m tired this morning. All that Democrat bashing
and baby hair licking at the Republican National Convention last night kept me up late. Since I can’t
get productive until this Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte
kicks in (yes, they are back!), I decided to peruse
the interwebs for awhile. And boy did I find a gem.

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Do You Still Need to Look Your Best for B-T-S?

first-day.jpgRemember when the end of the summer meant a shopping trip with your mom and a first-day-of-school photo shoot to chronicle the beginning of first/second/third/fourth grade?

Then high school hit, and you took your own initiative to blow your money on the perfect ensemble to make a statement on day one. Freshman year meant something eye-catching enough to grab the attention of a studly senior, whereas by senior year, your wardrobe had to scream, “I’m a senior. I own this school. And I’m f***ing graduating, bitch!”

Now that college is just around the corner, is it time to retire the tradition of back-to-school clothes, or do you simply need to step it up a notch?

On the first day of college, the campus will be filled with tens of thousands of students, frantically trying to change their schedules, pay their financial aid, and find the right classroom in the right building. It was easy to get noticed in high school, when you were one fashionista among only a few hundred, but in college, the people you meet on the first day are most likely to be a nameless, faceless blur who were kind enough to give you irections to the registrar’s office.

If you are thinking about going all out for a first day of school ensemble, ask yourself what your motivation is. Do you want to look professional to impress the teacher? Give yourself a little extra self-confidence to make it through the day? Find a nice college boy to walk you from one class to another? The following are some broad categories of BTS-wear that I have encountered year after year. You might fall into one of these groups, or you may notice a few hundred students who do on the first day of college. Read More »

5 Fashion Splurges Worth Making

fashion.jpgWith the dawn of Fall semester approaching, and the recession in full swing, many of us are facing a dilemma–quality or quantity. And when it comes to fashion, I’m a faithful believer in both. The only way to create a truly personal, awesome and –let’s face it– realistic wardrobe is to incorporate incredible steals with the occasional investment piece.

Yes, it may seem frivolous to blow a month’s rent (and then some) on a single item to add to your closet, but trust me, buying a ton of shoddy, albeit adorable, stuff from Forever 21 will hurt your wallet more in the long run.

When it comes to clothing, I like to use the simple formula Cost/ Number of Uses = True Value. Is it a way to justify my splurges? Yes. But it also proves that sometimes a higher price tag means a longer life span, therefore making that splurge totally worth it.

Consider saving up for these items–and trust me, when you walk out of that designer boutique with a sweet purchase you made completely on your own, you will not regret it.

1. A Classic Handbag.
I’ll admit it, I am a complete label whore. And many a designer house capitalize on this weakness by jacking up price tags just so I can have someone else’s name plastered all over my purse. But the intricate design, meticulous attention to detail (much of the time hand-crafted) and use of higher quality materials also contribute to the higher price tag. Splurge on a bag made of a quality material (like soft, buttery leather) as opposed to a generic cloth or plastic. Yes, they’re hot, and some of my favorite purses rhyme with “Trada” and “Moius Luitton”, but those are status bags and are expensive for the sake of being expensive.

A note of caution: if you’re looking for a deal and the price seems too good to be true, it probably is! Check here for specific ways to spot a fake. Premeditating buying a fake? Don’t waste the money. Any decent copies (in addition to being ILLEGAL) will most likely be pretty pricey ($100 and up)– so you’re better off just saving up for the real thing and enjoying your new bag for years to come. Read More »

Delia’s and Alloy…Not Cool in College?

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(Note: This pic is from a very old Alloy catalog. One I probably owned and worshiped. Please know that all current catalogs have much cuter clothes.)

I’ll never forget my first Delia’s and Alloy catalog spotting.

My then BFF Shanae pulled them out during our 6th grade Social Studies class as our teacher rambled on about the meaning of Thanksgiving. I was immediately drawn to the glossy catalog of teens wearing bell bottoms and midriff baring tops that my friends and I were dying to get into.

Since that day I’ve a been faithful catalog subscriber to both and will probably remain one until I have kids and start to rethink my hatred against these.

As an avid Delia’s and Alloy shopper, I’m shocked by the large number of college girls that don’t buy from them. Where most of the college girls I know either shop at Bloomingdales or Plato’s Closet, Delia’s and Alloy serve as a happy medium. They both sell quality clothing and each host an awesome online clearance bin (I just bought a $100 dollar fire red peacoat from Delia’s for 40 bucks!).

With so many chic, sexy and comfy options, I don’t understand how college girls aren’t causing mayhem at their local Delia’s store, instead letting all the high schoolers get more bang for their buck. Here I’ve compiled some favorites of mine that are perfect for the college coed. Read More »

Candy Dish: Achey Breaky Shut Up Jessica

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Jessica Simpson, go home!

Brooke Hogan thinks a lady president would have too many PMS problems

You too can look good in a swimsuit

Mormon Boys Gone Wild!

I like jeans, but at least I’m not a crazy compulsive shopper, like this girl

Does anyone care about Ebay anymore?

I hated summer camp too, friend

This picture makes me shudder…I don’t know why

How to make yourself 20% more attractive

Danika Patrick gets pissed off at the racetrack

Traumatise your baby with weird sh*t

The Atkins diet, for realz?

It took them 4 years to decide Janet’s “wardobe malfunction” was no big deal.

You’ve Heard of Super-Low Rise - Meet Extremely, Super Duper High Rise!

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Um. It looks like my grandpa started designing clothes!

Or maybe not. Even he doesn’t wear his pants this high. What were the people at Society for Rational Dress thinking?

Their designs are typically chic, simple and beautiful. But these? These “pants” are pleading for a camel toe. And a nursing home.

And where exactly does the zipper start? What does one wear with a pair of pants that belts at the breasts? Does this look come in capris?

I know that we are trying to move away from the low rise fad that leaves cracks exposed and the infamous muffin top, but this is taking things a bit too far, no?

Top 3 Summer Trends I Want To Smash

fuchsia

Yes, trends come and go, so we should probably just shut up and learn to live with them.

However, that is so not my style.

So, that said, here are the three trends of the summer that I most hate. Agree? Disagree? Couldn’t give a shoop? All fine, but I flippin’ hate these.

(3) Fuchsia Lips

Or, rather, fuchsia lipstick.

Fuchsia lips are an example of a trend that works fine on the runway but fails just about everywhere else. In other words, it looks fine if you aren’t trying to look at the actual person.

In the pictures above, we’ve got two adorable, gorgeous celebrities (Christina Ricci and Beyonce)…and they both look strangely washed out and clowny and old, even with the help of celebrity make-up artists. Read More »

I Want a Ruff

trapeze beauties!No, read that a little slower. I don’t want it ruff, I want a ruff. Okay, maybe I want it, too, but if that were the main theme of this article, I would have used the correct spelling of the word. Moving on.

I remember going to the circus once in my life and not being particularly enchanted by it. The modern acts didn’t thrill me at age 6, and I certainly wouldn’t pay a couple hundred dollars now to watch unhappy, mistreated animals plod around with their heads down, or to laugh at completely generic, mindless slapstick comedy routines (that’s what George Bush and Britney Spears are for). There’s something I’ve always loved, however, about antique circus art, be it from the harlequin-oriented Victorian era or the tattooed 20’s. Where are today’s knife throwers, horseback dancers and puddle divers?

I suppose most of them probably died practicing their craft, and not many have attempted to recreate the feats more recently. I know I wouldn’t. Read More »

Psst… Wanna Be a Size 2? Read This

skinny_jeans_1.jpgA few days ago, a poll showed up on the CC homepage that really irked me. Actually, let me correct myself: it wasn’t the poll itself that irked me—it was the results.

The question was, “What’s your ideal dress size?” and the answer choices were 2-4, 6-8, and 10-12. With barely a second thought, I clicked on 6-8 (my size right now as well as my ideal) to weigh in on the poll. When I saw the results so far, with about 70 votes tallied, my jaw about hit the floor. FIFTY-NINE PERCENT of voters picked 2-4 as their ideal dress size. That’s three out of every five women!

If you’re naturally very petite or tiny and/or if your doctor has actually told you that your ideal size should be 2-4, then you’re excused from my rant right now. Everybody else: listen up. Aren’t you the same girls who stand up against unrealistic media portrayals of women, who defend the fact that women aren’t and shouldn’t all be a size 2, and speak up about how seeing skinny models everywhere is bad for women’s self-images?

If so, then HOW can you turn your backs on all that and confess in a poll that you really want to be a size 2-4? Read More »

Mirror Mirror, Does My Butt Look Big?

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Leave it to the Swedes to solve a shopping enthusiasts biggest dilemma: the mirror.

You know the drill. You try on a new pair of jeans. You twirl in the mirror to check out how your butt looks but your neck just won’t cooperate to give you the best view. You can drag along friends who may or may not tell you the honest truth, or worse a boyfriend who just wants to make a break for it and get a soft pretzel.

So what’s a girl to do? The solution is in a new device called the DelayMirror. Created by scientists in Sweden, it’s a combination mirror, camera, computer, and plasma screen. As you turn, the camera snaps pictures and displays them on the screen so you can see how you look from every angle. The device made its debut in the UK at a popular retail chain today. So far the reviews have been positive.

I wonder what will happen when the DelayMirror makes its way to the states. Will seeing ourselves (and our imperfections) 360 degrees around make us even more particular about body image?

Too bad that thing can’t see the future.

When To Make A Guy Wait For Sex

Dear Ladies, I want you to ask yourself a question I often times ask myself on the shameful walk through an apartment which I hardly recognize on a hung over morning. The man at hand’s name is still new to me and I’ve left him snoring in his sheets. His roommates are awake and have no fucking clue who I am, so I wave awkwardly and put my boots on as quickly as possibly. I tell them to have a nice day and I just know, as I stumble down the building’s steps, one of them is asking the other:

“Wasn’t that their first date?”, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle.

So the question of doom is this, ladies:

Are you really a lady?

I’ll be the first one to rub hot wing sauce on my jeans. I can be as tomboy as they come… can’t break a nail cause I don’t have any to break…so I know that I’m not a stereotypical “lady”. But when it comes down to sex, I’m starting to see that the “Anything Goes” handbook I’ve been using for dating might not exactly be relevant anymore. Read More »

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