Daniel Radcliffe …for some reason… would love to play a drag queen

Freud was right. We’re all gross.

Nothing says “save my career” like playing a stalker

What they don’t tell you on TV about losing weight

Dora “the Hoochie” Explorer

My Fall Resolution is to find a hat that doesn’t make my face look stupid

How NOT to get laid

These Mamas make hardcore ciz-ash

Who’s got the better mullet?

Are you ready for some “deep” Vampires?

Treat that sex addiction

Our dreams have come true: Josh Hartnett has a sex tape.

While you were up way past your bedtime watching Michael Phelps dominate the pool in Beijing, you probably missed out on some serious stuff happening back here in the states.

Like the fact that Hollywood is breaking apart at the seams.

Seriously, everyone is heading to break-up city! Even the rock solid couples…

Like Paris and Benji! Say it ain’t so! I thought this was the real thing. I thought this was forever. I guess “forever” in Paris’s mind means, “Until something more scandalous comes along that can get me back in the public eye.” This time, it was Chris DeWolfe, the Co-Founder of Myspace, that did the trick. And, while I liked the idea of her and Nicole having matching husbands, I think this new couple is a match made in heaven. She loves overwhelming the world with pictures of herself….and he runs the company that does just that.

I just can’t wait to see what kind of pictures/videos surface online from this relationship. A Night in Paris Part Deux? Read More »

I’ll be there for you...unless you make this stupid movie

Penis Enlargements! for a month

Heidi Montag sings about getting wasted and boinking randoms

Who is going to read this?  Seriously.

Kate Beckinsale gets randomly randy…in front of her kids

Get nude, and get paid

Christopher Hitchens gets waterboarded..for 30 seconds…and freaks

Will Smith just can’t play a convincing a**hole

How to give good email

Finally.  A realistic sex scene (complete with a towel and creepy grandma picture)

As someone who’s gone through her share of H.O.R.R.I.B.L.E break-ups, I always thought that it would be pretty much the worst thing ever to be famous and feel the world weigh in on the shattering of your heart. The whole Jen, Angelina, Brad Pitt debacle seemed like a nightmare (especially for Jen. Girl got the short end of the stick), and recently, watching Alanis Morissette break up with , and subsequently lose, Ryan Reynolds to ScarJo basically solidified my notion that ending a relationship while famous sucks.

I kinda felt the Alanis / Ryan destruction because I’ve always identified with Miss M. She’s this earthy, hippie chick — attractive but not striking — who feels emotions really strongly and is into singing vowels her own way. Aside from the vowel thing, I saw myself in Alanis. And so when she lost her hot fiance to someone younger, with bigger boobs, and probably a smaller brain — I felt her pain. Because, I mean…it’s quite possible the same thing has happened to me. Read More »

According to a story in The New York Daily News, Mayer’s monster wang (as reported by former galpals) is the reason Jennifer Aniston is so crazy in love with him. On a related note, I like John Mayer more and more every day.

Seriously. So the dude churns out jams that frat boys play when they’re trying to get sensitive with the lady they just slipped GHB to. And I suppose he did date Jessica Simpson. And, yeah, sure, he’s friends with Jimmy Buffet. *shudder* BUT. But. The dude is a) for all intensive purposes, a guitar god, b) actually fucking hilarious, and c) now, apparently has a huge wiener.

This is a lot more than I can say for a majority of the gentlemen I have been involved with, oh, ever. Plus, he’s totally loaded. Sure, that’s mostly due to the aforementioned frat boys and moms in sexless marriages, but really, I’m going to come right out and say it; John Mayer is kind of the sh*t.

I know people speculate all the time as to how he gets all these hot chicks (thus, the Daily News “investigate report” or whatever the f*ck you want to call it), but let’s peruse the roster of people he’s been reported as getting romantic with according to whosdatedwho.com:

Rebecca Lord – A porn star, a.k.a. a lady who knows her wangs.
Vanessa Carlton – A singer or something. Butterface. Read More »

Hottie of the week
Helloooo, Robert Downey, Jr. He gets this because he’s hot. And Iron Man rocked.

My clip of the week
Thank you, Amy Poehler. It’s kinda wrong but kinda right and this is coming from a Hillary supporter.

Song of the week
Rihanna, “Take a Bow.” Whatever you say, Billboard Singles Charts.

Why am I not surprised?
Poor Speed Racer

Fashion of the Week
The good: I don’t watch or care about SATC, but god, do I love this shoot. The clothes are hot, the pictures are hot and I can’t get over that picture with the camera and the floor and what? Wow.

The bad: So this girl, Marche Taylor, and her prom dress. She shows up to her Texas prom wearing a few dinner napkins and ultimately gets kicked out for not wearing underwear.

Do we blame J-Lo for this? Read More »

Breaking up sucks, so you might as well get a good story out of it. None of this civil shit — I want tears in the eyes, blood on the walls, buttons off the shirts.

Unfortunately, most of my breakups have been rather tame. I keep my grudges to myself. Depending on the magnitude of the schism, I cope by going the patented Jennifer Aniston route (yoga, weed, Smart Water) or taking a ride on the pie highway to drown my sorrows. Either way, slander and slaughter are kept to a minimum; the only victim is me.

So, I don’t really understand crazy, dramatic breakups, but that doesn’t mean I can’t revel in them (read: laugh at) when they happen, especially in Brad-and-Jen Land. There are the sad ones, like Reese and Ryan and Jake and Kirsten which leave you a little deflated but ultimately make you feel better about yourself — because if they can’t make it work, who can? Read More »

Day after day, we see paparazzi shots of celebrities walking their dogs or heading into dance rehearsal. It’s been engrained in our minds, for some twisted reason, to care…whether it be what they’re wearing, who they’re with, or maybe they’re pregnant!?!?!

In these snapshots, the paparazzi is unintentionally creating free publicity for the brands these celebrities are wearing, the shopping bags they’re toting, or the food or drink they’re carrying. Starbucks has been basking in the glory of this free publicity for years now, so much so in fact, that I’m starting to think Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have actually super-glued Starbucks venti cups to their bony well-manicured hands.

It would only take someone with an amazing head of hair…cue my reference to Jennifer Aniston, to think of actually embracing and taking advantage of the paparazzi hordes that harass her on a daily basis. And she’s doing just that. Yup, our very own beloved Rachel Greene has teamed up with SmartWater and agreed to carry their water bottle around Hollywood, allowing the tabloids to print pictures of her with it. SmartWater, or smart girl? Read More »