It’s Friday. I’m tired, you’re tired and it was Halloween this week which means we all have hangovers to get over! Sigh. After work/exams/class of course.

So here is a little gossip to keep your blues at bay until the weekend finally comes!

• Ashley Olsen was spotted sucking face with Lance Armstrong at an NYC Hotel Bar on Monday. Apparently, they left together around 2 am. This Sunday, Lance will be partying down with his foundation at the restaurant where I work and if Ashley Olsen shows up, I might just pee my pants. (NY Post)

• Roberto Cavalli confirmed to the press that J.Lo is prego and he has been designing clothes for her as she grows. All this took place at the launch of his new Vodka. Yes, Vodka. Now we all knew J.Lo was preggers but what I want to know is why Roberto Cavalli is selling vodka. Last time I checked, fashion designers and disterllies had little in common. (People)

• The Catholics are fired up at Britney for pictures appearing in her new CD. In one, Britney is confessing, in the next she’s sitting on the priests lap. It’s about the only press she is getting from her new album since Jive has totally given up on her doing any promo for Blackout. And the courts agree she is still a bad mom. Oh, Britney. (ET Online, NY Daily News) Read More »

Jessica Simpson is set to rake in 3 million dollars to renew her deal with the pimple poppers over at Proactiv.

Basically, this means she gets more money than she gets to star in all of her blockbuster Hollywood films…to just stay kinda pretty and smile a lot. But get this! In the past, Jessica the Genius has gone on record saying that it was the prescription Accutane that cleared up her zits.

It wasn’t until she signed a contract with Proactiv in 2005 that she had what seems like a change of heart:

“I just had so much build up and so many clogged pores that once I started using Proactiv Solution, my face was just shining. I’m passionate about Proactiv because it worked for me and it gave me so much confidence.”

Maybe her face was shining because she’d returned to being excessively oily after the effects of Accutane wore off. Or maybe she’s just, you know, lying to make a ton of cash for putting in almost no effort. Read More »

Daddy Simpson is spreading the word. Big sis Jess is taking it country. No more bubblegum pop.

Although I will admit I loved “With You”…which I’m listening to right now…

That’s the reason I love Jessica Simpson. Her music sucks and its horrible… and I love it. It’s the dance around in your underwear, want to be in love, lip-syncing in the mirror with a hairbrush type of music. It’s awful. It’s so awful you can’t help but love it. And I do.

But country?

Please, Jessica, spare me.

Your fake country accent in Dukes of Hazzard was worse than your fake tan at the CFDA awards. I grew up on country music and there are plenty of awful female country singers out there to go around. If there wasn’t, I wouldn’t have “Redneck Woman” stuck in my head right now.

As everyone’s favorite teenager dad said, “Everything in the music business, especially pop music, has moved away from singers. And I think country is the only pure, storytelling kind of genre left.”

So Jessica has a story to tell, and apparently she wants to tell it through country ballads rather than bubblegum pop lyrics. Is one genre not enough for musicians these days? Do they have to do everything—not just movies and music but every music genre too? Read More »

Okay. Now I’m confused.

John Mayer has made himself into a lot of things this last year. Part-time comedian, Eco-champion, Jessica Simpson Wooer, and now, apparently, he’s an art critic.

Or something.

Wednesday, Mr. Mayer posted this picture on his website under the title Enchantment. One has no idea if Mayer really finds this art piece “special” (as he claims on his blog), or if it’s just another joke not everybody gets (I’m hoping it’s the latter, because the picture is something my grandpa would have up in his smoking room…and he isn’t a very cultured guy)?

Take a gander, and tell me what you think, lovelies.

Is JM joining the rest of young Hollywood and going insane, or is he just being weirdly funny?

The latest trend in summer casual-wear, the “maxi-dress,” just may be my favorite. Because unlike the short-shorts, miniskirts, and flimsy sundresses of summers past, this one lets me get away with not shaving my legs.

Celebrities like Rachel Bilson, Kiera Knightly, and Jessica Simpson have been spotted out and about rocking ankle-length dresses and skirts lately, and I have to say, I think I’ll be jumping on this celeb-trend bandwagon very soon. Read More »

If you’ve accidentally caught Paula Abdul’s new Bravo reality show Hey Paula, you know what a boring snoozefest it truly is. If you’ve spared yourself the misery, I can break the episodes down in one sentence: Paula acts weird, cries about people not understanding her, bitches about being tired, and claims she’s an amazing person.

Repeat that sentence fifty times and you’ve got yourself a series.

These days, if you’re a semi-famous celebrity, you’ve got a reality show. Careful editing and funny camera work makes you seem normal and almost endearing in front of a national audience, but as soon as the crews go home, you go back to being an almost nobody who has a big problem with something (which usually gets worse after a quick reboot of fame). Read More »

So apparently Jessica’s newfound freedom has caused her to tap into her deep and intellectual side recently. I was not aware that she ever had that side to begin with as evidenced by famous quotes such as “I don’t eat buffalo” or “Why is it called chicken of the sea?”

On her website, she wrote a message to her fans that discussed her recent time in Europe…And to quote Jess, “While I was there I visited many museums, and have been reading about different artists. I have also been writing a lot in my journal recently. I was reading a book about Michelangelo and there were 2 quotes that caught my attention:

‘I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.’

‘Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.’”

Wow, give me a freakin break. Jessica Simpson is now reading about Michelangelo? Well, don’t worry, it gets even better. All of her reading has inspired her to try her own hand at the old writing game and she posted the following passage after the quotes.

Read More »

John Mayer has an amazing voice, rad guitar skills, and is apparently smarter than we thought, due to his recent dumping of a blond publicity stunt named Jessica Simpson. But one thing the boy may want to leave to the professionals? Stand-up.

Last week, Johnny Boy performed a little impromptu comedy routine at New York’s Comedy Cellar, most of which was caught and posted on YouTube. The little bit I was able to watch included a bit about Carrie Underwood’s newest song and John’s inclination to wear tight clothes (why he’s broadcasting this fact is beyond me, but hey, just because I have a rabid distaste for hipster fashion doesn’t mean the rest of the world does). Read More »