Madonna’s secret recordings (no, they are not sex tapes!).

Forget the girl with her heart on her sleeve; wear your uterus on your undies?

Some men are really, really desperate.

Katie Perry eats it on national TV.

Now everyone can look like Heidi Klum. Well, sorta.

Joe the Plumber and Joe Six Pack chat it up.

The greatest college pranks…ever.

Columbia gets erotic.

Travis Barker is out of the hospital!

The most delicious iPhone.

Professor trading cards? It’s real!

The candidates went out with grace in last night’s final presidential debate. McCain pulled himself together after his meandering, unsure performance last week and Obama kept his cool. Meanwhile, Joe the Plumber lost none of his usual candor and confidence in his first appearance in front of a national TV audience. There ya go, Joe, doggonit! I mean, wait. Who’s Joe?

Joe the Plumber (possibly related to Joe Six-Pack) left the debate looking good – or at least looking important. Whoever this guy is, the candidates sure care a lot about him.

Joe began to take the stage when the debate turned to finicky economic issues - in other words, are these cranky, vote-grubbing politicians actually going to do anything for us, the average American citizen who plans on buying their own business?

Obama’s run-in with Joe bit him in the butt when McCain called him out on his tax proposals; previously, whenever McCain or Palin tried to bust the Democratic candidates on taxes, they had a strong parry: “95% of Americans won’t see a dollar of raised taxes.” Joe the Plumber gave McCain some ammo - here, some dude who just wants to pursue the American dream will, in fact, be affected by the Obama tax plan. Read More »

Hugh Jackman: the real Joe Six Pack?

Taylor Momson is not rexy, she’s just skinny!

Americans have terrible taste in movies.

Sarah Palin confirmed an SNL visit. Watch out, Tina.

McCain is gets a second chance on Letterman.

Cosmo’s hottest men on earth. (Editor’s Note: WHERE IS PIVEN?!)

5 things men buy to overcompensate make us think they are too cool for school.

Where in the world are the Jolie Pitts?

Gossip Girl heads to college.

Pumpkin Picking: the ultimate (celebrity) fall activity.

Paris Hilton lookin’ really good. (I know, I can’t believe it either!)

Mark Wahlberg hates SNL.

Tampons to go!

Shocker: Froot Loops is not good for you!

Today is Friday. Tomorrow is Saturday. That means the stock exchange is closed, which also means that the economy can’t crash for 2 whole days! Wahoo! Grab you’re your favorite snacks (fat is in!) and celebrate!

That is the best news we’ve heard all week, but that isn’t saying much after the week we’ve had:

Gay rights activists get locked out of a campus, a**holes continued to break girls’ hearts, celebs got all cocky on us, Joe Six Pack made an appearance, the presidential candidates “debated,” we had to watch Rachael Ray porn, Bubba had some transgender issues, our boyfriend posted that (PRIVATE) sex tape online, and I missed out on a fantastic opportunity to get with my campus’s most notorious man-whore.

But don’t worry; Barack Obama can make it all better! (No, that was not a political statement…that was a sexual one.)

Happy Friday, peeps.

Snappy Sarah Palin might have been on to something when she gave a shout-out to “Joe Sixpack” during the VP debate. Maybe a beer-drinkin’, gut-bustin’ dude is the perfect pick for your next date. Here’s six reasons why.

1. You’ll never have to worry about curbing your alcohol intake at dinner, on dates, at the ballpark, at, well, anywhere. Rest assured he’ll guzzlin’ like a fiend too.

2. Skip the gym, embrace the beer belly. Nothing says bonding like rubbing your swollen gut against his as you climb into bed.

3. No more frivolous lingerie purchases. Your new man has an endless supply of over-sized, well-worn t-shirts. Throw one on, flaunt your bare legs and blow him kisses from the bedroom door. He’ll be on you like a Doberman in heat.

4. Spending a fortune on fancy microbrews? Forget it. Stock up on PBR, Miller Lite and Bud. While you’re at it, throw a king-size bag of super-cheezy nachos in the cart as well.

5. Toss your painful, pinching stilettos. There’s no need to prance around in high heels when most of your dates will take place on his sofa in front of the game.

6. Worried about Joe impressing mom and dad? Never fear. Once they see him crush a beer can with his bare hand they’ll know he can protect their daughter from evil villains… and any other leering rednecks.

Well, the good part about this week is that banks all around the world did not explode, some kind of bailout plan was passed (though don’t ask us to decode it), Sarah Palin and Joe Biden managed to be civil and keep their mouths from f*ckng up at their debate (plus, a new favorite catch phrase was born!), Jeremy Piven’s hotness did not wane, weed suddenly became good for us, and we found out the identity of the REAL Joe Six Pack.

Let’s see, what else happened that wasn’t completely sh*tty…?

Oh, right. We let our inner Halloween bitterness out and felt much better for it, uncovered the horrible undertones to Allstate’s advertising campagin, and learned how to love and protect our awesome boobs.

Unfortunately, there were some not-so-great things that occured this week — and we’re not talking about our realization that we hadn’t blended our make-up one morning. Our birth control flipped the crap out, we realized our college dining halls were nothing compared to these, and the fun of Elementary School seems so, so far away.

Whether your glass is currently nice and half full or running on empty, take solace in the fact that the weekend has arrived to provide us cold beers, fresh-baked cookies, and HBO’s True Blood (What? You don’t watch this show?! Dude…find a way).