Oh, she’s just being Miley…via Brett Ratner

This whole “presidential election” thing has got more drama than any MTV reality show

Fess up on those summer plans

My marriage offer still stands, Jonas Brothers

Oscars vs. VMAs

I, too, would rock a “J” tattoo for John Mayer

Once a Samantha, always a Samantha

For those who once tried to rock, we still salute you

Apologies to your imagination
Clay Aiken is having a baby. With a women. Which is weird. Someone call Maury or direct these two to a Duane Reade.

Douchiest douche in the world
Nick Hogan, I hate you. Are you basically blaming your friend for his current vegetable status? Because he’s a negative person? That’s why he’ll never be able to feed himself again? Oh, and make sure Daddy sets you up a with a “real-ality” show the second that you’re out. DOUCHE.

Fashion
The Good
I’m loving SJP’s dress at the New York premiere of the “Sex and the City” movie .

The Bad
Is Kim Cattrall’s the worst look of the week? The dress has pockets, does something weird at the breasts, I hate the length and the shoes – ugh.

Hottie of the Week
John Mayer’s Penis. This is week old news you say? Nay, I say. A big penis never gets old. Read More »

According to a story in The New York Daily News, Mayer’s monster wang (as reported by former galpals) is the reason Jennifer Aniston is so crazy in love with him. On a related note, I like John Mayer more and more every day.

Seriously. So the dude churns out jams that frat boys play when they’re trying to get sensitive with the lady they just slipped GHB to. And I suppose he did date Jessica Simpson. And, yeah, sure, he’s friends with Jimmy Buffet. *shudder* BUT. But. The dude is a) for all intensive purposes, a guitar god, b) actually fucking hilarious, and c) now, apparently has a huge wiener.

This is a lot more than I can say for a majority of the gentlemen I have been involved with, oh, ever. Plus, he’s totally loaded. Sure, that’s mostly due to the aforementioned frat boys and moms in sexless marriages, but really, I’m going to come right out and say it; John Mayer is kind of the sh*t.

I know people speculate all the time as to how he gets all these hot chicks (thus, the Daily News “investigate report” or whatever the f*ck you want to call it), but let’s peruse the roster of people he’s been reported as getting romantic with according to whosdatedwho.com:

Rebecca Lord – A porn star, a.k.a. a lady who knows her wangs.
Vanessa Carlton – A singer or something. Butterface. Read More »

Bye, Bye, Bye Lou Pearlman!

Oh, to be John Mayer’s camera.

I really think teenagers are getting dumber by the minute–er, MySpace

Ali Lohan: 14 going on 40

It’s summertime: learn how to apply bronzer

I take back all earlier judgement: I kind of dig Natalie Portman and her boo

Libertarian Ocean Colonies are totally the new Facebook

Heidi and Spencer’s PDA and gender-stereotyping outfits

Don’t forget to call Grandma–it’s Sinatra Day!

Beyonce is too famous for church or modesty

Hottie of the week
Helloooo, Robert Downey, Jr. He gets this because he’s hot. And Iron Man rocked.

My clip of the week
Thank you, Amy Poehler. It’s kinda wrong but kinda right and this is coming from a Hillary supporter.

Song of the week
Rihanna, “Take a Bow.” Whatever you say, Billboard Singles Charts.

Why am I not surprised?
Poor Speed Racer

Fashion of the Week
The good: I don’t watch or care about SATC, but god, do I love this shoot. The clothes are hot, the pictures are hot and I can’t get over that picture with the camera and the floor and what? Wow.

The bad: So this girl, Marche Taylor, and her prom dress. She shows up to her Texas prom wearing a few dinner napkins and ultimately gets kicked out for not wearing underwear.

Do we blame J-Lo for this? Read More »

The three weeks before I graduated from undergrad I was miserable. I was sad, and already dreading the day all my friends would leave our previously un-penetrated bubble of binge drinking, late nights, traveling, naps and academia.

I’m in grad school now but I realized the crummy days are coming back again. My fifth year friends are rounding the victory lap and getting ready to leave school. I’m excited for them to scatter across the country, but sad to see them go. I decided my sentiment was best expressed in two playlists; one for those dark, depressing days and one for the hopeful, bright ones.

We’ll start with the sad one. Sometimes the best way to get over a hurdle is to have a good cry. This should make you do just that.

1. Freshman - Verve Pipe
Achingly sad when I was a freshman in high school, still pretty tear-inducing now that I know what they’re talking about.

2. Forever Young - Alphaville
This song is most known for the 8 billion TV prom scenes its used in. Don’t hold that against it. If you want to hold those haircuts against them, be my guest.

3. Tear - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Best lyric? “Say it now because you never know.” It sounds so much easier when Anthony Kiedis is advising you. Read More »

John Mayer + Perez Hilton = oddly intriguing

Pee like a dude…virtually

I hope ScarJo’s album is better than its cover

Wait no more to see your Johnny Depp lovechild

Bobby Brown: still crazy

The mother of all ‘yo mama’ jokes

Richard Simmons is amazing

Another reason I hate happy couples

Jeff Goldblum thinks you should buy a Mac

Would you let Obama call you sweetie?

Pandas pressured to procreate–would some panda porn help?

Disney perpetuates false expectations one bridal gown at a time

“The Hills” movie–would you really expect anything less?

Did Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo tie the knot?

Hey mom, can I borrow $4,000 to go to Porn Camp this summer?

Celeb birthday bash I least want to attend

On second thought, Maury–I’ll take care of that paternity test, OK?

John Mayer is awesome. Got it?

Paris Hilton: “I’m an inspiration”

I don’t care what you say: Madonna is fierce