The MTV Movie Awards. No other awards show makes me cringe as much as this one. And no, it’s not just the awkward “realness” attempted by everyone from the hosts to the stars (Kim Stolz never seemed this wooden on ANTM…) Typically, the MTV Movie Awards is where fashion goes to explode and then die. Sometimes, celebrities get it right, but mostly, explosion and death.

Here are some of the good, bad, and just plan horrible fashions from last night.

As we see from this photo, Heidi Montag has finally completed her transformation from human to the blond, big boobed, skinny hooker robot she always wanted to be. And Spencer, her giant-faced pimp, standing weirdly over her in an expression of faux-love. Everything seems about right here. Read More »

John Mayer + Perez Hilton = oddly intriguing

Pee like a dude…virtually

I hope ScarJo’s album is better than its cover

Wait no more to see your Johnny Depp lovechild

Bobby Brown: still crazy

The mother of all ‘yo mama’ jokes

Richard Simmons is amazing

Another reason I hate happy couples

Jeff Goldblum thinks you should buy a Mac

Would you let Obama call you sweetie?

• Fat Jared Leto ups my self-esteem

• Rihanna live in Moscow…and bondage

• This just in: Johnny Depp is perfect.

• “Over the Hills” via BWE Blog

• If a stranger knocks on your door asking for your panties, don’t open it

• Finally, some back fat support

• Ashley Dupré is vag-tastic!

• I’ll vote for the candidate that promises to shut these girls up fastest

• Mary-Kate Olsen walks among us

• Have you Rickrolled today?

• Rare photos of Ms. Golightly are published 15 years after her death.

• So working out doesn’t get you off? It does now thanks to the Thigh-brator.

• Two Celebs, One Dress… Who wears it better?

• Johnny Depp is on the cover of the Rolling Stone.

• Avril Lavigne is a Plagiarist.

• ‘Love is a Birthday Party.’

• Madonna spends 10k a month on water.

Whenever I think about what I’m looking for in a dude, the question of age limit always comes up. Younger is usually a no-go (I’d like to be with someone who’s got all their keg stands out of their system, thank you), but just how old is too old?

My cut off is somewhere around 5 years. Any older than that and I think my partner and I would be in different life stages (unless of course Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt are looking. I’ll do anything for them).

Apparently, Hayden Panettiere doesn’t share my opinion of an appropriate age gap, because it’s recently been reported and she and 30-year-old Milo Ventimiglia (who?) are an official item.

These two Heroes co-stars (honestly, the only reason I even know their names is because I watched an episode of the show once) have a 12 year age difference between them, and while some people might not think that’s a big deal, I can’t help but think that just 18 and 30 is pretty much the biggest gap you can have.

18 means college, smoking legally if you feel like it, waiting three more years to drink, and finally moving out of your parents’ house. 30 means mortgages, thinking about a family, and maybe writing up the first draft of your will. Could these two people be any more at odds? Read More »

I have had enough.

While I don’t really love Audrina – she’s not the brightest crayon in the box and her teeth are sorta big – I can not sit back and watch a sister get trampled on by any guy, let alone a guy like Justin Bobby.

I want to jump into the TV (I have even considered joining the lame-ass Virtual Hills) and smack some sense into this girl, but my new TV is really expensive and I don’t want anything to happen to it. Sure, she ended things with the d-bag last night, but I can see it in her eyes that she still wants to go back for more.

And I seriously can’t let that happen.

So, I decided to do what I do with all my friends dealing with a difficult breakup: make the pros and cons list. You know; list the dude’s pros and cons, see him in all his crappy glory and finally feel good about kicking him to the curb.

Here goes the Justin Bobby pros and cons list. I hope this makes Audrina’s decision a little easier on her soul:

Pro:
Someone to snuggle with
Con:
Greasy
Pro:
Someone to talk to (when he picks up her calls)
Con:
Weird obsession with hobo-inspired headwear Read More »

You could go to pbteen.com for a dorm room like this…or follow our time-tested advice!

It’s a dorm. Not an apartment, not a studio, and not a tiki hut. Keep that in mind whilst decorating.

In fact, one of my closest guy friends constantly mocks those girls who go all out on a simple dorm room, exclaiming, “GiRlzz! Letz do a BeaCH ThEmE! Lolz!”

That aside, it is your home, and your own personal residence for an entire school year, so it’s important you like it, want to be in it, and it’s presentable for guests at uh, any hour of the night.

So yeah, there are those crazies who have the money (and stupidity) to pimp out their dorm rooms, but what about you? What about poor, busted-my-ass-at-Ruby-Tuesdays-for-this-paycheck? you, who likely can’t afford a single Johnny Depp poster, let alone an entire room’s worth of decoration.

I’ll let you in on a little secret chickies, it’s all about the bargain shopping. And knowing where to find that. Read More »

Breaking up sucks, so you might as well get a good story out of it. None of this civil shit — I want tears in the eyes, blood on the walls, buttons off the shirts.

Unfortunately, most of my breakups have been rather tame. I keep my grudges to myself. Depending on the magnitude of the schism, I cope by going the patented Jennifer Aniston route (yoga, weed, Smart Water) or taking a ride on the pie highway to drown my sorrows. Either way, slander and slaughter are kept to a minimum; the only victim is me.

So, I don’t really understand crazy, dramatic breakups, but that doesn’t mean I can’t revel in them (read: laugh at) when they happen, especially in Brad-and-Jen Land. There are the sad ones, like Reese and Ryan and Jake and Kirsten which leave you a little deflated but ultimately make you feel better about yourself — because if they can’t make it work, who can? Read More »