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Now that the New Year’s Day
hangovers are a thing of the past,
it’s time to trade in the warm sofa
for cold, hard desks as the spring
semester approaches. If you are
wondering how you will possibly
make it through this semester after
barely making it through the fall semester
you are in luck, because a new semester
brings new beginnings.
Read More...
Oops! Heidi Montag can’t vote after all–sorry McCain (but thank you, God!)
Behold: the bacon bra
The Do’s and Don’t of crashing Beyonce and Jay-Z’s wedding
Seven jokes that actually came true
More reasons why sex is awesome
“I was raped” t-shirt
Posh Spice’s new adss for Marc Jacobs–WTF?
Astronomers discover solar system that is the Mary-Kate to our Ashley
Why wouldn’t you buy Armani roller skates?
RIP Charleton Heston.
• Get Lauren Conrad a present! Because, you know, she needs one and all.
• Going to an Ugly Sweater Party this weekend? Check out some terrible ones…
• Have nothing to talk about when you’re home with the parents? Everyone loves a horrible, horrible joke!
• You’d think with the holidays around the corner mothers could give their kids a break…not so for this hard-ass mom!
• “Don’t tase me, bro!” is the top quote of 2007! Congrats?
• The internet is used for something positive! It’s a Christmas miracle!
Carson Daly has committed the ultimate crime: resuming production on Last Call with Carson Daly.Daly has also defied the ongoing writer’s strike - but that’s hardly his biggest offense.
Does anybody really watch Last Call with Carson Daly? It’s on at some ungodly hour next to weight-loss and fly-fishing gear infomercials…and since when did Daly become a source of comedy? The show has been on the air since 2002 and I still don’t know one soul who watches it.
Since his writing staff is M.I.A. Daly has solicited outside help from family and friends, asking them in an email to submit him jokes that will be used in an upcoming skit. Read More »
SAT. What a horrible word. The lost hours that stupid test took from me will never be replaced, and the sheer embarrassment I felt looking at my math score will stay with me for the rest of my life.
The English part of that standardized bullshit was easier for me than the mind numbing numbers sections, but a little thing called vocabulary kept me from getting a top score. Learning words that people don’t use on a daily basis wasn’t ever something I cared to do, but had I only known a few more nerdy terms, I could have hit the language jackpot.
Classless Education, a “collective of comedy writers and educators” have decided I’m not the only one who could use some vocab help. The group recently put out a book called The Yo Momma Vocabulary Builder, an “irreverent, educational” paperback that attempts to teach the finer points of language with some of the oldest jokes in the book. Read More »
“Why am I like Britney Spears kids? If the state doesn’t step in, I’m not going to see 2008,” death row inmate Patrick Knight jokes in an article on a local Texan website. The 39 year old is seeking the help of the public, via MySpace, to find the perfect punch line to say for his final statement before he is executed on June 26th.
My first thought was, this is absolutely hysterical. For one, the man is on death row and he has a MySpace page. Come on over to jail and we’ll give you free internet! But I digress. For two, he’s getting the public involved in his final statement before he dies for the murder of a Texan couple back in 1991.
That kind of stopped me in my tracks.
He’s on death row. For murder. I mean, I hate to be so overdramatic with the italics and all, but that’s pretty much how the thought occurred in my mind. (Yes, I think in italics.) This wasn’t just some funny concept anymore. This is a real man, about to be put to death for the real people he killed. If these were my parents who died, I wouldn’t be happy if their killer was seemingly cool enough with it to be making jokes on his death bed, especially if that bed was one they made themselves by the crime they committed. Knight says the contest, which he’s named “Dead Man Laughing” (no, really), isn’t for him, it’s for his fellow inmates awaiting death row. Knight says that he’s, “not trying to get any money… not trying to get any pen pals or anything like that. It’s just, jokes are needed back there. We need some kind of hilariousness. We need something to ease the tension.” Read More »
