Apparently the Teen Choice Awards were on last night, or something? Yeah, we didn’t know either. But here are some people dressed up for it.

This is what $14 Million looks like. (Funny, I thought there would be more gold….)

Is my iPhone really killing me?

Thank God for CollegeCandy, especially now that our favorite magazine is folding.

People say my standards are too high, but would do date this man?

Sleeping in until noon is not bad; it makes you smarter!

Paris Hilton’s mama fights back against John McCain. Looks like the Repubs lost a little financing, eh?

Sexual harrassment is A-OK. In fact, it is necessary for the future of our species. Duh.

Please, Tyra. PLEASE. Don’t ruin this election for the rest of us.

Are you a nailbiter? Smoker? “Like” sayer? Quit that nasty habit overnight!

Don’t mess with Tracy Turnblatt. Fo real.

Christian Bale was merely defending his wife? Awwwww!

Wanna work in politics? Just have an affair!

Sick of Facebook yet? Yeah, me either. But it just got even better.

Viagra may work for women?

Apparently, some dudes agreed that women in skinny jeans could not be raped because removing them would require consent? Yeah…took awhile, but that’s been reversed.

The Jo-Bros are probably pissing off a lot of Dallas homeowners right now….

Porta-Potty art! (Doesn’t make the smell go away, though.)

Earth-friendly junk mail? Hot granny panties? Declining gas prices? Impossible!

An old favorite to get you through the day. Weeeeeeeeeee!

Jesse Jackson is still not an Obama fan…like, at all

And the Justin Timberlake backlash has begun!

Models may be pretty, but they sure are dumb

Maggie Gyllenhaal is awesome, Letterman is a creep

This totally looks like my favorite new web site!

Ashlee Dupree has ruined more than Elliot Spitzer’s good name

But…the Jobros…are so adorable and wholesome! How dare you not like them!

Deleted scenes from Wall-E

Religion 2.0

“There is more to kissing than just shoving your tongue in and letting it lay there.”

Kathryn Heigl needs to go. Perhaps one of these ways would be best?

Even McTeeny was McDreamy–and he could juggle!

OMG, it’s so annoying when my wedding dress totally rips apart at the altar

Breaking News: The JoBros continue to get hotter

In a related story, Corey Haim continues in the other direction

Ending a relationship is a lot like last call at a bar

What? A reality show that is funny on purpose?

Sex Fact #5: engaging in any non-missionary sexual position is illegal in DC.

Longing for some jazzy, instrumental theme music–oh, and true love?

Zachery Ty Bryan is still alive–and being tasered

Dear Boyfriend,

While you were at your frat’s campfire Friday night—I know, triple kegger! How could you not check it out? Life’s too short, bro!—I stayed in and watched “Camp Rock,” Disney Channel’s newest original movie starring The Jonas Brothers.

Let me tell you something; these “bros” are like three Prince Charmings, and you’re still just a frog—a frog with crappy hair gel and a dorm room that constantly smells like Jose Cuervo and dirty underwear.

After the movie, I got to thinking: the JoBros would collectively make a much better boyfriend than you. So without further adieu…

Here are the top 20 reasons why I’d rather date the Jonas Brothers: Read More »