I’ve had my share of eccentric travel companions, but none can top my alcoholic ex-boyfriend. On our trip to Italy, his antics epitomized the disgusting reasons why we are called Ugly Americans. The list below clearly catalogs ten reasons I now choose my travel companions wisely.

Our trip to Italy began as most do: pleasantly, in romantic Rome. We had been dating for nearly a year and, for two months leading up to the trip, he quit drinking and limited his smoking! I was feeling optimistic. We spent the day walking to all the major sites in Rome except for the Sistine Chapel, which we agreed would be a nice culmination of our travels and saved for the end of our trip.

Reason #1: A Peroni in Florence
Walking along the main promenade our first evening in fiery “Firenze,” he was hungry and stopped by a pizza joint, ordering pizza and a Peroni. “I can’t travel in Italy and not drink at least one Peroni,” he insisted. He was hungover the next morning, and we were an hour late to our reserved date at the Uffizi.

Reason #2: A Moretti in Venice
We arrived in the maze that is Venice by train. Claiming he was hot and in need of a refreshment, he ordered a Moretti at a nearby café. Then, upon arriving at our hotel, he continued to drink at the nearby bar while I showered. Four beers later and much to my embarrassment, he jumped off a bridge into the contaminated channel. A passing resident scolded him and a fight nearly ensued. For the remainder of our stay, he was on a quest to find the highest bridge from which to jump. Due to a “mysterious” ear infection, he ultimately decided against it. Read More »

I don’t know about you, but sometimes it can take me a while to get into the academic-paper-writing mood of zen. A long while. Like…several months.

Since I don’t usually have that kind of luxury to juggle around class deadlines, I do fun writing exercises to help me get in the mood. They’re easy, short, and they really will help your writing skills get better, so you can snag the high grades you need. Try these, or make up your own.

• Journaling. I don’t mean the kind of journaling that your sixth-grade teacher made you do about your summer vacation. I mean real journaling about what you really care about. Write a page about how much of a douchebag your ex is, or a few paragraphs about your favorite kind of chocolate and why exactly you love it so much. Loosening your writing muscles will help you get better starts on your papers.

• Songwriting. Come on. We’ve all listened to a Backstreet Boys song or two and thought to ourselves, “My four-year-old cousin could write better lyrics than those.” So why not prove it? Rather than calling up your baby cousin, do it yourself. A quick exercise like scribbling down a song will give you more creative, open ideas about the content and outlets of your academic writing. Read More »

I’ll admit it—I’m a voyeur. Not the stand in your bushes, peer in your window type, but the naturally curious type. I position myself awkwardly in coffee-shop couches to “overhear” and interesting conversation. I read Oprah’s Book Club books over strangers’ shoulders on the subway. I even look in shopper’s carts at the supermarket and evaluate them based on their picks (my cart usually says “I will not apologize for my chocolate addiction and my consuming preoccupation with my cats.”)

My voyeuristic tendencies spill over into my online life as well, as evidenced by the blog reading I have bookmarked. Take a peek at some of my favorite strangers—borderline internet-stalking is more fun when shared!

College Call Girl
If you’ve ever had one of those weeks where you’re late on the bills and are contemplating selling your body so that you can pay off your magazine subscriptions, this one is for you. College Call Girl is a sassy hooker, and that’s just how I like it. The unapologetic and extremely candid writing will have you obsessively refreshing your browser, begging for more. If you’re the type to scream “T-M-I!” at your best friend when she details her latest hookup, stick to something more PG-13. Read More »