So, my boyfriend Mario Lopez–jealous much?–was recently named People Magazine’s Hottest Bachelor of 2008. The dude is like a fine wine which only gets better with age…that I also want to have sex with. Anyway, it got me thinking—who are the top five former teen heartthrobs that time has not been as kind to?

5. Mike Lookinland

Bobby, Bobby, Bobby—you were so freaking adorable on “The Brady Bunch,” so WTF happened? Your big bro Peter marries America’s Next Top Model and this is how you carry on the family tradition? Sure you didn’t get “a lot” of camera time during the show, but it was because you were so cute that the producers had no idea what kind of shenanigans to throw you into; they didn’t want to risk a single frown line on your perfect little punum. Read More »

I was just rewatching an episode of Veronica Mars (which, if you don’t know, is my favorite show) that featured the fine acting stylings of one Jonathan Taylor Thomas, or JTT to those in the know. Needless to say, he hasn’t aged well. He’s not quite a Fred Savage but he is by no means a Jerry O’ Connell.In his episode of VM, he is sporting this strange post-apocalyptic lost in the cement jungle half-mullet that really sort of traumatized me.

This sad encounter made me want to remember a happier time in the mid-nineties when JTT was all dimples and dreams and, of course, my heart’s most fervent desire. Read More »