First Lohan, now Trump.

Or should I say, Trumpberg? Trumpstein? Schwartztrump?

Ivanka Trump has sought out a rabbi to take her on her journey to Judaism. Why does she want to be a Jew? Why not? We are wonderful people: kind, generous, family oriented, and we know how to eat. And, hello, have you ever had matzoh ball soup? Yeah, that’s all us.

Oh, and she is also in love with some Jewish guy who won’t marry her unless she too celebrates Hanukkah, Yom Kippur and all that jazz.

I think it is wonderful that Ivanka has found love (and a real estate empire) in Jared Kushner, but the whole thing makes me wonder just how far women should go to be with the guy they love. I used to get sh*t from my friends for changing my hair/music selection/weekend plans for the guys I was with, so I can only imagine how they’d feel if I changed my entire belief system.

I know that love is a wondeful thing, that it is hard to find, and that we should hold onto the one we got, but there has to be a line, right?

Would you convert for someone you love?

[Photo courtesy of Gawker.]

Rumor has it that Lindsay Lohan is saying TTYL to Jesus and Shalom to the Jewish faith.

Yes, like many non-Jewish women who fall head over heels for the Jews (and who can blame them?), Lilo is (allegedly) converting for her gal-pal, Samantha Ronson.

Being a card carrying Member of the Tribe, I feel it is my duty to whip up a (Kosher) Jell-O mold/some bagels and lox and welcome Linds to the Jew-berhood.

We are so excited to have yet another celeb on the verge of a mental breakdown to call our own!

Before I hand over the bagels, though, I need to make sure Lohan is in it for the long run. We Jews take our religion seriously and, like the bouncers at the Waverly Inn, don’t let just anyone in. Is she ready to use guilt to get everything she wants in life? Does she fully understand just how much time we are forced to spend in synagogue? Does she know that being Jewish is about more than searching for a good deal at Marshalls?

And, most importantly, is Lindsay truly devoted to our people, or is it all about the allure of Yom Kippur, a holiday where we atone (and are completely forgiven) for the sins we have committed in the past year? Lord knows Lohan has a lot of atoning to do, starting with that line of leggings she created.

Oy. As if having Speidi at church wasn’t bad enough, now we have to worry about having Lohan at Temple. God help us all.

Unless you are looking for a few weeks of summer lovin’, relationships eventually get to the point where the issue of God/religion/burning in hell will most likely arise. That is, if religion is important to anyone involved. And if your religions are different? Well, that is cause for some serious talkin’. As much as you want to avoid the topic and live in that dream-world where it doesn’t matter, different beliefs can create some serious problems. So what’s a girl to do when your guy thinks differently about the Big Questions in life, the amount of wives a man should take and just what happens when you don’t pray every day?

Look for common ground.
In today’s modern world, even religious leaders are beginning to emphasize the common ties of religion rather than the differences. It’s important for you to learn to do the same, if you really want to make it work with a guy. If one of you is Protestant and the other Catholic, you’re already halfway there toward reconciliation, really; the fundamental points of doctrine are the same. If you’re interested in religious discussion, make an effort to point out where you agree. For example, Jesus is a prophet and a holy figure in Islam as well as Christianity. Sufis and Buddhists agree that meditation techniques are important for reaching higher spiritual states. Jews and Muslims agree about dietary restrictions and the importance of respecting God through very similar laws. There’s common ground for everyone! Read More »

After growing up in a world where sins absolutely meant Hell and Jesus absolutely meant Heaven, I never want to use the word absolute again. Except to say that I was absolutely mistaken.

I was raised to believe that there was a god, one god, and that Jesus Christ was his son. I accepted him into my ‘heart’ and was baptized at an early age. Then I was taught that anyone who didn’t move forward with those two procedures was going to go to Hell; even if they were a good person. Oh, Hell. The fiery pit where bad people burn with the devil.

I once believed this place was real and I could quote scriptures from The Bible as my own little way of reassuring myself that I wasn’t gonna be one of those bad people going to that bad place. I prayed when things weren’t going my way and I prayed when things were going my way. Come to think of it, I spent more time chatting it up with God when I was young than I did my friends.

I knew nothing about earning money, but I knew you were a selfish person if you didn’t give at least 10% of your income to God and your church. I knew that Halloween was for Satan and witches, that Jewish people believed in the same God that I did but were still going to Hell, and that Pulp Fiction was a very, VERY demonic movie that I was never allowed to see.

When I entered adolescence, I started to embrace my Christianity in new ways. I listened to rock bands who screamed lyrics you couldn’t understand…but they were Christian, so it was okay. I wore punky clothes and was straight edge. A straight edge jerk, judging everyone I knew who did drugs or drank or — god forbid — had sex. Read More »