I’m going through a boys-are-kinda-sh*tty phase right now, and every phase needs a good soundtrack. These tunes go from woe-is-me to female empowerment, so hopefully by the time you get to the end of the list you’ll be over stupid boy of the week and ready to move on!

“Perfect” Rogue Wave
The lyrics say it all: Everything was perfect ’till you came along. Get out the tissues and wallow.

“When I Was Drinking” Hem
Remember how you never did your homework cause you were too busy fussing over your man? Well, think of all the time you wasted…sad, isn’t it?

“Melt Your Heart” Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
This one’s a heart-wrencher…just cry it out. Yup, get the ice cream. Keep crying.

“Tears Dry On Their Own” Amy Winehouse
See? You’ve stopped crying, and now you’re starting to be a bit more rational. And upbeat! Read More »

I have a confession to make. I don’t get Madonna.

Not only do I not get her, I’m not a fan. I’ve never been a fan.

I’ve grown up with the Material Girl, and every couple of years or so when she goes and makes a drastic change in her personality, looks, and music, I think now! Now surely I’ll like her! She’s different!

But alas, that’s never the case. No matter who she is at the time – wacky-haired, sleeping-with-everyone Madonna, Henna-tattooed, meditative Madonna, super-yoga master Madonna – I just can’t bring myself to be like everyone else in America and adore her.

First of all, her songs have never resonated with me. Which is strange, because I love pop and dance music. Okay, so Like a Prayer is totally fun, but it’s not the type of song I can listen to over and over. And ever since the 90’s hit, I haven’t really liked anything of hers. Her voice isn’t something to write home about, her lyrics are never particularly interesting (except for Papa Don’t Preach. I’ll acquiesce. Those lyrics are pretty subversive), and the actual songs themselves always sound like replicas of something I’ve heard before.

Plus – and again, maybe this is just me – Madonna seems mean. Read More »

American Idol makes me feel like vomiting.

There, I said it.

How much longer can this go on? I won’t deny that we have found some incredibly talented singers from this show: Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Chris Daughtry, Fantasia Burrino….Clay Aiken?

But, with that said, there are about 5 MILLION incredible artists playing in bars, clubs, coffee houses, etc. within a block of my apartment. Los Angeles, Manhattan, Austin, and po’ dunk towns with karaoke are cranking out talent as you read this.

It isn’t that the people on the show aren’t talented, it’s that the whole formula is absurd, obvious, limiting and now, boring.

There is ONE SLOT for each sterotype: Read More »

Oh, Myspace! How we love denying all your porn spam. How we love the hours we spend perusing your bad, drunken poetry and those lovely 3 a.m. photos of beer pong. Wait a second…

The next time we log in to Myspace, let’s just hit delete. January 30 is International Delete Your Myspace Account Day. The idea was started by Bloggasm’s Simon Owens, who realized life is too short to wait for excessive banner ads to load.

Do we really need to know when the kid who sits behind us in Chemistry class celebrates his birthday? Do we really enjoy all those crappy Kelly Clarkson songs blaring from random profiles? And let’s not even get into Top 8 drama. Think of the hours we could save by not stalking our secret crushes online. Maybe we’d have time to study for that French quiz after all.

Then there’s Myspace remorse. We can’t forget that it’s not just hot boys and our best friends who check out our profiles. Remember that bleary-eyed photo from last weekend’s party– the one with all those empty PBR cans? Think about mom seeing it. Or worse, a prospective employer could find it. According to this New York Times article, job recruiters are using Myspace and Facebook as alternative background checks. Let’s start cleaning up those profiles, ladies!

Or Better yet, let’s just say no to Myspace

I used to wear my iPod everywhere.

Walking to school, iPod. Sitting on the subway, iPod. Waiting for class to start, iPod. Grocery shopping, iPod. I never went anywhere without music.

There’s lots of reasons I chose music over realty, strange men telling me I should be their girlfriend at 8:30 AM certainly being one of them, but the easiest answer is that I didn’t really think there was much the world could offer me while I was alone. Walking by yourself can be a semi-lonely activity, especially if you’ve got a long way to go and don’t see many friendly faces on your way there.

So, I was plugged in. Walking quickly and keeping my face blank (looking too friendly in the city is sometimes an open invitation for crazy people to ask you to pet their plastic snake), I spent my days forging ahead and allowing The Police to soundtrack my life.

Until I overheard a conversation that changed everything. Read More »

Kelly. What. Are. You. Wearing?!

Girl, you’re full figured. I love it. It’s refreshing. It’s your body, be healthy and happy. But please keep in mind…certain outfits don’t look good on everyone.

I’ll give you an example. Guess what I can’t wear? Grey leggings. They look horrible on me. It’s like two sausages are connected to my torso. Plus, I sweat right through grey cotton. It’s a nightmare. I don’t wear nightmares. So grey leggings aren’t part of my wardrobe.

Tight, tight, tight black pants and some kind of weird, Indian/biker belt should be your no no outfit, Ms. K. There’s no need to dress like every other skinified starlet out there. There are ways for curvy girls to make their bodies look good. Let the untalented bimbos wear scary Indian/biker belts. Cover yourself in something flattering. Prove to America that beautiful comes in all shapes and sizes.

Let’s make a deal, K.C. Right here, right now. I’ll resist buying that jumper I’ve been eyeing that will only look good on a 6 foot tall model, and you stand firmly against pants that squeeze your thighs like water balloons.

Great. Glad we could have this talk.

What do you think about KC’s new look? 

Still love Kelly Clarkson despite her recent concert cancellations and rumors of a sucky CD? Me too. That’s why I was happy to find out MTV’s The Leak has her new album in it’s entirety for our listening pleasure.

As someone who’s not the biggest pop music fan but feels an inexplicable love for Ms. K, I gotta say that I like this album. The third track, “Hole” is about as hard rock as any female pop vocalist has gone in a long time, and Clarkson is no slave to inane hooks. Say what you will, but I’ll take an interesting song over something that repeats itself 7 times any day. And with lyrics like “It seems every time I find a good man / He’s got a good little wife / I’m not jealous but I won’t lie / I don’t want to hear about your wonderful life” “How I Feel” is a great song to yell to alone in your room, espescially if you’re single.

“Sober” is her apparent new single, and although it’s pretty much your standard pop-ballad fare, her voice is expressive enough to make you believe every word she sings. And I still don’t know how she hits those high notes with the force she does. You try it on your own and you end up screeching, but somehow K. Clarkson rocks them. Every time. Even in concert. Read More »

Has reality TV finally gone too far? (Although if you ask me, it went off the edge long ago with Extreme Makeover). A new Dutch program goes beyond washed - up/overweight celebrities by making a kidney the star of the show. A woman named Lisa’s kidney, to be exact. During the 80 - minute spectacle, tastefully called The Big Donor Show, Lisa will choose a recipient for her healthy kidney based on the kidney contestants’ personal histories and stories. Viewers can send her advice via text - message.

Of course, many astute Europeans are up in arms over the show, saying it’s completely dangerous and unethical. But the show’s producers claim they are doing a public service by highlighting the lack of organ donors in the Netherlands. The former director of the television station that will air the show died of kidney failure after being on a transplant waiting list for years.

So maybe the show isn’t exactly in line with Hippocrates, but if Kelly Clarkson can go from a nobody cocktail waitress from Podunk, Texas to an international superstar millionaire, why can’t someone benefit from a televised kidney? Although in this case, the losers of The Big Donor Show are really losers — but hey, just as Katharine McPhee is irritatingly famous now even after she lost American Idol, maybe the losers on this show will get some second - prize kidneys and then some. And let’s be honest, a kidney is a kidney, so everyone wins.

What do you think about this show?

Well, that was quite a spectacle last night, huh? From the pre-show on the red carpet to the countless appearances by huge stars, American Idol pulled out all the stops for the results show.

The first hour was pretty awesome, actually. Though I’m not a fan of Blake, he held it down with Doug E. Fresh. His beatboxing talent is undeniable, the singing voice is just a little shakey.

The group numbers with Smokey Robinson, and Gladys Knight were hugely entertaining.

The two old schoolers are still wonderful talents to watch, and though the Idol wannabes are perhaps not the most rhythmically gifted people (the choreography was just funny to watch), vocally they all sounded great. Read More »

Oh my god. I never thought I would say this. Kelly Clarkson’s new song SUCKS!

What is going on here? I’ve always loved Kelly Clarkson. In all my years of watching of American Idol, I voted exactly one time and it was for Kelly. I even seriously contemplated dying my hair like the cover of her Thankful album, (with the bright red and platinum blonde streaks). Thankfully, I didn’t– but that’s how much I loved her. Not to mention the fact that nothing is more perfect for a run at the gym or singing along with your car windows down than her last album Breakaway.

So what gives? When I was home over Spring Break, I was shocked when my best friend told me she cringed every time she heard a Kelly Clarkson song.

“WHAT do you mean? I loooove her” I replied in astonishment.

To which my best friend pointed out that on 90% of her songs, Kel screams. “Uch whatever” I thought and I pushed her criticism aside. I mean after all this friend of mine doesn’t like Christina Aguilera OR Chris Daughtry’s voices either- what does she know?! Read More »