Amy Winehouse continues to scare the piss out of us

McCain gets his ass to the Mississippi debates

How to not get arrested: Be Shia LaBeouf

A shopping high without spending the cash?

Natalie Portman dumps Jesus

We don’t need no gym!

The first woman to pay for space travel

Brit, he ain’t worth it!

So…scared…can’t…type

Why don’t they just open up a zoo?  A child zoo.

Oh snap!  The Hef is bankrupt?!

Must Buy: adorable little wristlets

We LOVE you, Sacha Baron Cohen!

Happy Lumberjack Day!!

Sigh…Ed McMahon sells his soul

Man, the Internet is just full of scary sh*t today

Britney Spears has made the cover of Rolling Stone again, but this time it’s for all of the wrong reasons. Previous cover shots were done in full color, putting her entire body on display. This one is a somber black and white face close up and on her cheek it says, “Britney Spears: Inside an American Tragedy.”

As a member of her dwindling fan base, I can actually handle reading the constant stream of train wreck Britney Spears news. Because it’s not the words that bother me. What I cannot handle are the pictures that accompany the stories. When I read something particularly bad, I go back to the old photographs. The Rolling Stone covers. The MTV Video Music Award performances.

Anything to blot out the images of her out clubbing, crying, half naked, bald, pink wigged, going to rehab, going to court, naked and crying again.

When she burst onto the music scene in 1999, I so fiercely wanted to look like her. I stared at her pictures, her perfect abs, her long blonde hair. It didn’t matter that the hair wasn’t naturally blonde, that the pictures were posed and retouched, that it took hours upon hours and some plastic surgery to build that body; I was mesmerized. I didn’t listen to the music so much, but the music was secondary when it came to my love for Britney. I couldn’t get enough of seeing her and I wasn’t alone. Read More »

I woke up this morning, came to work, started surfing the internet…and now I have a few very important questions:

Who is J.R. Rotem? (besides a second rate music producer)

Why is he having sex with Britney Spears? (other than for drugs or money)

And most importantly, how is Britney’s drug-addled, sleep deprived, mess of a body carrying a third child?

Call me harsh if you want, but this isn’t about talking trash for the hell of it.

This is straight up sad. Tragic. Infuriating.

Not only because Britney’s life is in shambles and she doesn’t seem to notice, but because when it all come down to it…the girl is not on this planet.

Had Britney not been the most popular girl on the planet 7 years ago, she’d be on Maury, crying her eyes out backstage while the crowd booed her and Maury assured her that he’d help her find the real father.

But here is where my ranting ends because when it comes to addicts and the people who enable them (ahem…Rotem…) there is no getting through to them. Read More »

It’s the early morning and I’ve already read a few newspapers, some blogs and a couple celebrity gossip sites.

I know a lot—sometimes too much—about our nations state of cultural affairs. But hey, at least I’m informed about something and it IS my job, right?

There was a day though, particularly all four years of my undergraduate career (save the Thursday Style section of the NYT) that I knew nothing about current events.

Apparently, I’m not alone in this. In a recent study based on 1,800 Americans, only 18% of those from ages 18-30 read a newspaper everyday. The results found that our generation is more of a glance at the news type of group than any other.

And although we spend hours in front of our computers each day, most of the news we do watch is from the television.

Even more importantly though, it isn’t the ways in which we are receiving our news, but the fact that we are getting it at all. It is sad to think that of the many times I spent hours mindlessly surfing the internet, I never once really went to the New York Times homepage or even USA Today, which is slightly fluffy, to find out really what was going on in the world. Read More »

Dear Britney,

I hope this letter finds you well. Or at least wearing a pair of underwear. I am writing to you today on behalf of all of us 20-something women who spent our high school and college years dancing/working out to your music and thinking of your ridiculous abs as we lay on the gym floor willing ourselves to do one last crunch.

We are worried about you, Britney.

It was only a few years ago that you sat atop the world in a one piece leather jumpsuit. Then along came Kevin. You fell in love, you got married and decided to bow out of the spotlight for a bit. That’s fine. I could have used a few new songs on my workout playlist, but everyone is entitled to a little “me” time. But, somehow, “Britney” time turned into “Trailer Park” time and we saw what can now be considered the furthest fall for a celeb since Michael Jackson started touching little boys.

What happened behind the closed doors at camp Spears? How did you go from the hottest thing on the planet to this?

Britney, while you totally screwed the pooch at the VMA’s (a bra and panty set? Really?!) and, while we’re at it, at raising children, it really isn’t that hard for you to make a comeback. Maybe not as a mega pop star, but at least as someone not totally crazy/white trash and who has a shred of dignity. And who can keep her eyelashes in the correct place while doing a giant interview on NBC. Read More »

At least Britney Spears is an inspiration to someone.

TMZ has posted a video of artist Ryan Crotty’s alarming “installation” which was based off of the life of everyone’s favorite trainwreck.

Basically a baby doll being force-fed a Pepsi with it’s hand shoved into a bag of Cheetos, Crotty’s art was paraded down the streets of Los Angeles and –thank God– it was all captured by TMZ.

I want to hate on this “artist” so badly, you guys. You have no idea. With his dated “trendy” neckerchief and stupid oversized glasses, he looks no different than any East Village hipster (what’s the LA equivalent? Anyone?).

You know he’s a Perez-reading, VH1-watching, beer guzzling (probably only Pabst, though) dude…except he’s a “creative”-type.

You know what I mean. He shops at H&M and answers to no one!

Ugh. Spare me. This is art? This is what inspires the masses? This is the best we can do?

Either way, can we all agree that with this mockery of art, Britney has officially jumped the shark? Okay, so she’s a bad mother. Kevin Federline is suing her. She’s a crack-pot with bad taste in…everything. Read More »

Alli Sims.

The fact that we know that name implies that we should know something about her other than the fact that she follows Britney Spears around like a stray puppy. Is she her cousin as others have reported? Her assistant (that would explain a lot)? Perhaps just a loyal and fame hungry pal?

Apparently, the Baton Rouge, Louisiana native has been singing her entire life and according to her official site (What? Don’t you have one?), the former sorority sister says;

“In 2003 I graduated from college and my roommate and I threw our stuff in a U-haul and moved to Los Angeles. I have been living and working here ever since…. We will see what my future has in store”.

It is still very unclear whether Alli and Britney come from the same gene pool, although Alli seems far too well spoken and physically coordinated to be a Spears. In fact, if Brit plans on doing any future Dateline interviews perhaps Alli could lend a hand by speaking off-camera while Spears moves her mouth like a puppet (What? We know the girl can lip synch).

But the truth is that Alli may not have the time to help out her “cousin” with an upcoming album produced by Britney’s former fling and music mogul J.R. Rotem. Could Britney be promoting the career of someone who may just replace her on the Billboard charts? Okay, it’s doubtful that Alli’s remake of “On My Own” from Les Miz is going places but you never know. Read More »

If you had told me two years ago that K-Fed would turn out to be the responsible one in the relationship he had with Britney, I would have asked you how many times you listened to Popozao, how loud your speakers were when you did so, and if your brain had been mutilated in the process.

But I would have wrongly insulted you, because Kevin is certainly turning out to be the best thing his kids can hope for.

A few days ago, K-Dawg began serving papers to a few close acquaintances of Britney, cousin Alli Sims being one of them. The horrible rapper’s lawyers claim many more “acquaintances” of Spears will be served, body guards and nannies most likely included.

After hearing the bad news, Britney went out and did what any certifiably insane person would do; cruised a drugstore for cheap candles and a $12.95 Hallmark gift book entitled “50 Truths Worth Knowing”. Read More »