Blood Tree - Mary Timony. Everybody dates a jerk or two. Rock stars, however, get to humiliate them publicly. Mary uses this song to recite the many ills of her ex. There are, of course, the usual problems - too many drugs, hitting on other girls, lame friends - but nothing compares to the kicker: a topless picture of his ex, which he showed her, for reasons known only to himself. Consider the fact that Timony has confirmed that this incident actually occurred. Then consider the fact that even the best of us hook a few freak shows. Then feel better. Then dump your guy.

Sheela-na-Gig - PJ Harvey. PJ tries to make sexy time with her gentleman caller. He turns her down flat. This leads to the most glorious song in the history of angry lady rock. Anyone who can work “dirty pillows,” “childbearing hips” and South Pacific into a single lyric deserves some kind of lifetime achievement award. Also, a boyfriend who will put out. Read More »

Yes, that is correct, I am destined to be one of those women. Feared by children and cats for companions (of course my personal choice would be books and alcohol instead of animals, not so high maintenance), I am only one more lovable feline pet away from becoming a Spinster.

I am 20 years old and I have never been in love, nor have I any desire to one day marry or bring children into this world. After much consideration of past relationships and basic encounters with men, I have decided that the only way to lead my life now is to become a Spinster.

Of course I’ll still maintain relations with men, but I’ll know that only the physical side of things will be involved.

By now, you probably think I’m some cold-hearted cynic, but I assure you I’m not. I am a genuinely nice person.

I’m also not gay. That is not denial. I’ve already been through a phase of questioning my sexuality.

This epiphany occurred to me one Saturday while walking to town for an unplanned window-shopping excursion. I had my usual inner monologue running in my head, which was mainly about the events of the previous night. It had been a usual Friday night and the beginning of the long awaited Easter weekend. The agenda for the night was to begin the weekend with a small pub crawl. The final stop of the night was at The Canterbury Tales, which is the last pub to close in town. We were enjoying ourselves, drinking and conversing the night away, when suddenly out of nowhere a group of in-line hockey boys surrounded us. Read More »

It makes sense that the coolest movie of last year would also have the coolest soundtrack. The Juno soundtrack, which hits stores on January 8 (available now on itunes) is packed full of gorgeously crafted pop songs from Kimya Dawson, The Kinks, Belle & Sebastian and Cat Power just to name a few.

To kick off the album’s release, Rhino has put together this super-clever e-card that allows you to upload your own photo and trick it out Juno style. C’mon, you know you always wondered what you would look like preggers sucking a slurpee.