It’s time for Hollywood to take out the trash.

You know what I’m talking about– Lindsay, Paris, Britney, Nicole, Nicole’s unborn baby, Nicole’s ugly boyfriend, and dare I say…Christina Aguilera. Always rubbed me the wrong way, that one.

H-town is seeming more and more like a ghost town these days with its little coke-infused starlets escaping the summer grit of the city for rehab.

Rehab: it’s the new Hamptons!

But, who is there to look to now? Who will inform us, mere plebes, of fashion trends we cannot afford and only imitate feebly by shopping at Forever 21? Who will entertain us while we slave away at our precariously filing - centric summertime internships? Have we no heroes anymore? No inspiration?

I try to think of understudies for Lilo & Co, but the best I can do is a list of the boring and banal: Anne Hathaway, Natalie Portman, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson. Ugh. Stars– they really are just like us. Meaning? Boring. Read More »

Being Irish-Italian carries with it a few unfortunates. I’ve got a temper that can flair up out of nowhere and an unearthly hunger for all things bread. I’m also pale. Redheaded and pale. Pale.

Because of my unsightly whiteness, I find most self-tanners look completely ridiculous on me. I don’t just turn Lindsay Lohan orange, I turn Tropicana orange.

Until this summer, I had resigned myself to carrying the semi-albino torch forever, scoping on the SPF 45 and radiating whiteness like Kiki Dunst on a ski hill. But this May, I stumbled across a product that didn’t just make good on its promise: it came through with flying colors of tan.

Jergens Natural Glow Firming Daily Moisturizer may have a long name, but that’s because it does more than your average body moisturizer. Not only does this product “firm” that cellulite, it also gives an all over summer glow that actually looks real. And unlike those other self-tanners, it doesn’t smell like musty, wet dirt. Read More »