He didn’t look like a stalker. He looked like a nice, well-mannered twentysomething with a fashion sense that lurched toward the emo.

He didn’t sound like a stalker, either. He sounded nice, and friendly, and totally easygoing.

But even as I walked into the coffee shop and saw the sleek blond hair, the stylish hipster belt, and the anti-used-car-salesman smile of a nice-looking 23-year-old, there was still a little part of me that feared I was meeting with a middle-aged alcoholic in (a really good) disguise.

He was polite, funny, interesting, and sweet. He knew that the idea of dating someone I had met online scared me, so he did everything he could think of to make me feel more at ease. He opened car doors for me, he knew how to cook, he wasn’t messy, and he kissed exactly like how the guys in my Prince Charming dreams always have.

Thanks to OKCupid, my life had become one big Kodak moment—one big temporary Kodak moment, that is. I was scheduled to leave in three weeks for a semester abroad in China, and I wasn’t about to turn down any guys who’d offer to take me out for dumplings and tea there just because of some contrived connection I had with a dude I’d met online at home.

I sat Danny down a week before I was scheduled to leave. “I have to be single when I go to China,” I said.

“I completely understand,” he answered. “That’s fine.”

I got on the plane feeling great. Then I found out that as soon as I’d left, Danny ran out and bought a wall calendar and a thick red marker. “What’d you do that for?” I asked. Read More »

After our recent post about choosing to live in the same dorm as your significant other, I thought I’d bring up a similar topic I’m struggling with: should you start a relationship with a roommate?

My current financial situation means I had to make a few compromises when looking for a new apartment. First off, I had to move to a shady neighborhood. And not just a put-away-your-ipod kind of neighborhood, but a maybe-you-should-carry-pepper-spray-and-also-possibly-a-knife kind of place. Secondly, I moved in with three boys.

Yes, I know, I’m living in a glorified frat house: Scarface posters on the wall, 2 years worth of grime in the tub (so much for a relaxing post-work soak) and a fridge full of beer and moldy food. When I arrived to take a look around and put down my deposit, however, I soon realized that these were the least of my problems; one of my roommates is cute. Read More »

I’ve been hooking up with this guy for awhile, but he seems to hate kissing. I know he’s a guy and going straight for the goal is far more interesting to them, but I can’t stand how he practically avoids it if he can.

Am I being used here, or is this more normal than I realize?

That’s definitely not normal. Kissing is a pretty integral part of, well, just about every aspect of a physical relationship.

If he’s not kissing you then his lips are saying a lot more than he may realize.

Bring it up and see what his catch is. It might after all be that he’s just self conscious about his ’style.’

Either way, it’s understandable if you want to look elsewhere. After all, you’ve got plenty of other things to think about, and trying to convince your boy to kiss you shouldn’t be one of them.

New Year’s Eve. One of the biggest party holidays on the calendar. A time to wear something sparkly, drink pink champagne and not feel like a lame idiot, and count down the last remaining seconds in a year that was hardly what you imagined it was going to be this time 365 days ago.

If, like me, you live in a large city, you’ve been hearing about New Year’s Eve for almost as long as you’ve been hearing about Christmas. Giant parties in giant clubs, complete with open bars, fancy food, and “hot people!” have been pushing themselves into your email inbox and popping up in conversation; urging you to fork over $100-300 for a place on the guest list.

Even if you don’t happen to reside in a metropolitan area, you’ve undoubtedly heard about a house party here and there, polling your friends to find out where and how they’ll be saying goodbye to 2007.

The point I’m trying to make is—everyone always seems to have something to do on New Year’s. Some house to crash, some club with a bouncer who can get them in, some party of a friend of a friend’s, a First Night celebration out in the frigid cold…staying home just never seems to be an option.

But what if it is—at least for you? What if you don’t have any plans this year? What if the plans you do have don’t sound as appetizing as they usually do? What if spending a night sloshing in high-heels and trying to grab someone before midnight isn’t your idea of a good time? Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 116
Mood: Startled

“Not many girls would jump up and down in the middle of the woods at ten at night.”

Justin and I were walking back through the dark path towards campus, my fingers occasionally grabbing onto his sweatshirt for support as we dodged shadowed roots and branches. I could have stayed in that starlit clearing with him forever, and probably would have, if Rebecca hadn’t called me, worried and wondering why I wasn’t back in our room.

Realizing we had been outside for over an hour, Justin decided it was time to go back. I wasn’t sure if he had been caught off guard by the quick passage of time like me, or if he just really wanted to get warm, but whatever the case, when he stood up and started back towards the dorms, I followed.

“You’re a good sport with putting up with my weirdness.” Stepping over a root, Justin reached out to help me do the same. “I usually don’t let people see how awkward I am until I know them really well.”

“Well, I’m perma-awkward, so you’re in good company.” I grabbed his hand and hopped over the root, but the contact of his skin against mine rattled my head so much I let go too soon and almost toppled over.

“Whoa, you okay?” Catching my arm, Justin stopped and waited until I was standing steady again.

“I told you, perma-awkward.” I laughed to cover my embarrassment and was glad the night hid my burning cheeks. “I can’t even walk right.”

Justin chuckled. We stood facing each other for a moment, one of the longer moments in my recent memory, until Justin let his eyes fall to the ground. Read More »

As I write this I am sitting at my boyfriends house, hanging out with his roommates dog and watching Weeds onDemand while he is in class. I’m also wearing his sweatpants.

This wouldn’t be such an uncommon scenario if he didn’t live 1,000 miles away, if kissing him didn’t cost two hundred dollars and seeing him didn’t require vacation time.

But it does. And for that reason, the LDR (or the Long Distance Relationship) is a lot of work. And you have to work at it. While it is wonderful, the LDR sucks so you should be completely and totally sure its right for you. I don’t advocate them.

And we all know our guy blogger Andrew really doesn’t advise them.

In fact, I never imagined I would be in one. But we were right together and right for each other and I couldn’t imagine not being with him.

So, we’re together even when we aren’t together. Seeing each other every five weeks does not a relationship make, which is why even though we should be in our “honeymoon phase”, having sex and wanting to spend every moment together, we’re already having to work on the relationship.

The good folks at CNN also saw the problems that lie within the long distance relationship. In this article, they provided some good (if not a bit obvious) advice that help make the LDR work.

Communicate

Ugh, communication. Sometimes it sucks talking on the phone ALL the time. So many times I would rather just sit next to him and watch a movie rather than sitting on the phone talking to him about it. Despite the fact that I feel like we talk all the time (which I don’t really mind) it helps because I feel like I’m a part of his day-to-day life even if I’m not there every day. Just saying hi in the morning helps me make it through my day. Read More »

I’m sitting here reading this article about kissing and it is making me really wish my boyfriend wasn’t 1,000 miles away so I could just make out with him.

Like, a full on seventh grade make-out sesh.

I love to kiss. Which, I suppose, why a poll of 1,000 college students at a New York City school, mentioned here, isn’t really mind blowing.

Apparently we, as women, like to kiss. And we think it’s really important to boot. We use “kissing as a way of assessing the recipient as a potential partner, and later to maintain intimacy and to check the status of a relationship.”

While guys “were more willing to have sex with someone without kissing, to have sex with someone they are not attracted to and agree to have sex with someone they considered to be a bad kisser.”

Men also placed less importance on kissing as the relationship progressed. I would imagine since they putting their importance on the bumping and grinding.

The article said that men preferred “wet, tongue kisses” but didn’t say what the ladies liked. I’m guessing it’s a mixture of the tender kisses we like all the time and the passionate (and, err, wet?) kisses that come with sex? Read More »

According to CNN.com, Richard Gere was issued an arrest warrant by a judge in the northwestern city of Jaipur, India last week because of a kiss (on the cheek!!) that was allegedly “highly sexually erotic”.

Trying to drum up support at a charitable event hosted by Heroes Project, a charity Gere developed to help fight AIDS in India, the aging actor attempted to do a swoop kiss with famed Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty. The harmless gesture didn’t seem so harmless to certain conservative Hindu groups, who demonstrated against the public display of affection (something that’s still considered taboo by many in the country) so strongly that a judge called for action. If convicted, both Gere and Shetty could face “three months in prison, a fine, or both”.

Gere’s camp, as well as a few spokespeople in India, claim the judicial gesture is preposterous and was only issued to gain publicity.

While my American brain agrees that certain people in that country need to simmer down, I’m even more outraged that Shetty is being dragged through the same mud as Gere. The courts claim that because she didn’t “resist” the gesture, she’s just as much to blame as the American Gigilo, a declaration I call patriarchal bullshit.

What do you think, lovelies? Should Shetty be called out? Is this just another case of patriarchal stupidity?