Old panties are a suitable replacement for a mom, right?

This past weekend at a celebrity memorabilia auction in Las Vegas, Larry Birkhead, opportunistic baby daddy extraordinaire, purchased some drawers once worn by the late hot mess Anna Nicole Smith in a Playboy spread.

Birkhead spent a reported $2800 on a pink bustier and white negligee with the intention of someday giving the items to he and Smith’s year-old daughter, Dannielynn. According to one report, Birkhead said he bought the items in the hope that they will someday help Dannielynn understand her mother’s life and that this was definitely NOT a stunt to ensure his F-List ass stays in the papers. For realzies, guys. Make sure you get my good side.

That poor, poor, poor, poor kid. First her mother and brother die, then she’s in the middle of the most sleazeball custody battle of the 21st century, now she’s gifted a piece of her mom’s history as a trashy soft-core porn star? If Dannielynn makes it to the age of fourteen without getting knocked up or becoming a crackhead, she deserves a Nobel Prize.

[Photo courtesy of OK! Magazine]

So, I have this friend (and no–this friend is not a hypothetical version of myself, thank god). The other night, we found ourselves in the midst of some major girl-talk. The topics ranged from our first experience with tampons, to how we feel about guys finishing on various different body parts, and then on to one of my personal faves, self love. It was at this moment when she nonchalantly dropped,

“I’m not really into masturbating,”

“WHAT?!?!?!!?!”

No. No, no, no this cannot be right. After all, I only surround myself with liberated, self-respecting gals of the feminist persuasion, all of which are highly aware of how important it is to know how to GET YOURSELF OFF. How could my friend not be into masturbating? Are there really girls that don’t attempt this anymore?

The truth became more relevant when I pulled out the big guns and asked the million-dollar question (and slightly reveled in the fact that I felt like a living chic-flick cliché)

“Have you ever had an orgasm?!”

Her answer consisted of a lot of mutters and stutters ultimately culminating with, “well, how do you even know if you’re done anyway?!”

Oh sh*t. Girlfriend was in need of some serious advice. Read More »

One is not born, but rather becomes, a dude.

This, at any rate, is the conclusion suggested by a recent report in The Journal of Adolescence, which seems to show that teenage boys are more interested in emotional connection than in sex for its own sake.

The report concerns a survey of 105 tenth-grade boys, who answered questions about dating and sex, along with several more general questions of health and lifestyle. When asked about their reasons for pursuing a relationship, over 80% of the boys responded that they did it because they “really liked the person.”

When asked about their reasons for having sex, the boys were as likely to say that they did it for love as they were to say that they had been motivated by pure physical attraction or curiosity about sex.

This evidence flies in the face of the common stereotypes that young men are supposed to be interested in sex rather than relationships (whereas girls, of course, are believed to prize relationships over sex). And so, not surprisingly, some people refuse to believe it.

Tara Parker-Pope, in her New York Times column on the subject, pointed out that, in her experience, the majority of the backlash to these findings came from grown men, several of whom commented on her original blog post to insist that the boys must have been lying. (As far as I can see, these men failed to provide any realistic explanation as to why the boys would have done so - my own research confirms that the “free pizza if you fake interest in a relationship” strategy is usually ineffective.) Why are these grown men so invested in denying the emotional life of teenage boys?

Well, why wouldn’t they be? Read More »

Finding ourselves restless and deliriously ADD by Christmas night, my sister and I escaped our minimum security prison (i.e. home) for a movie date to see Juno, that new film with uber-talented Ellen Page, so-endearing-you-want-to-bite-him Michael Cera, and Jennifer Garner.

Anyway, halfway through the movie I realized how strange it is how much pregnancy has been belittled through the media lately? First there was Knocked Up, which basically made a huge (and addictively funny) joke out of getting preggo off a one-night-stand, something I’m sure girls everywhere didn’t exactly have on their Christmas list.

Then, there’s the crazy celebrity baby boom what with J.Lo, Nicole Richie, Jessica Alba, oh hey and now, the Mini Spears, now that’s hot. With so many preg-celebs with tabloids booming, “Mommy-to-be-still beautiful as ever!” and whatever else they cook up, I just feel like everwhere I turn it’s preggo this preggo that. Read More »

As if the media hasn’t spent enough time ravaging the metaphorical colon of people across the internet and TV, we arrive at the next stage in celebrity gossip evolution (or Creative Design if you are from Kansas)…the legal battle.

So here it is: Casey Aldridge, a.k.a. Little Spears’ Babby-daddy, is either 17, 18 or 19. Unfortunately, white trash don’t keep good records and for some reason there is a some discussion as to how old he is. People are looking at his MySpace page, which has him at 17, and also his old school records that have him at 19. However, the latter records come from his Principal who is trying to hold the school yearbooks to make extra money, so it is about as trustworthy as the Mitchell Report.

My roommate is pre-law, so here is the $.50 tour:

Read More »

• Fashion Watch: Dinner Jacket or Leather Coat?

• VIDEO: The best subway ride ever…or worst. It’s up to you.

• NBC is refunding advertisers for basically being the crappiest network ever.

• Matt Stone and Trey Parker are actually coming out with something funny again? (does this mean Kenny vs. Spenny will be cancelled?)

• $25,000 Scavenger Hunt!

• Knocked Up may have been “a little sexist”, but at least it was better than Grey’s Anatomy will ever be.

This is exciting news!

The perpetual pretty boy Zac Efron is set to star in a movie that holds some promise outside the Disney-fied cushion of hormonal tweens!

A new film called 17 is set to begin production soon and has cast Efron as a 17 year old boy who has reverted from a grown man.

Hey, it’s not like it’s never been done before but, whatever. I’m just excited that it’s not another crappy musical.

Am I coming off as an excitable Efron fan? Well, sorry to say…I am not.

But that’s why I can honestly say I am pulling for the guy because for once he’s been giving a role that goes beyond puppy love and a boyish face.

Aww…he’s growing up!

And I haven’t even mentioned the best part!

Read More »

I am always looking for new and different ways to waste time online. My recent favorite time-waster is Will Ferrell run comedy site, FunnyorDie.com. Ferrell along with Adam McKay started the site because “they had nothing better to do.” Videos posted are made by Ferrell and McKay along with user submitted clips. You may have seen the classic “The Landlord” which features McKay’s 2 year old daughter Pearl as a disgruntled landlord verbally abusing Will Ferrell.

The men behind FunnyorDie made my week today when they announced that Judd Apatow would be jumping on board to help create videos. Oh the sheer joy that ran through me when I heard this. I’m the girl who has seen”The 40 Year old virgin” more times than I can count, and I have enormous crush on Seth Rogan in all his hairy dorkdom. Word is Rogan will be making a few appearances in Apatow directed clips.

We’ve all heard by now that Halle Berry is knocked up…..

…..by this guy! Gabriel Aubrey!

He’s hot, Canadian and 10 years younger than Halle, who is 41 and the hottest cougar of ‘em all.

Ever since the news of her pregnancy broke, people have been even more curious about Gabriel Aubrey, whose name even sounds model-ish. He’s got a pretty face, but what’s he like? How did he meet Halle? What do they have in common!

The public needs to know!

If you Google him, he’s more tied to her name than anything else so there must be some dirt?

You will find that all sites can agree he is a “hunkstar,” whatever the hell kind of stupid word that is.

Hmmm. I wonder if the baby will be attractive?

Check out Gabriel’s hottness after the jump! Read More »

Walk Hard is upcoming Judd Apatow comedy film expected to be released in December of 2007. The movie will star John C. Reilly as famous musician Dewey Cox and Jenna Fischer as his wife Darlene. The movie will be a parody of musician biopics like Ray and Walk the Line.