What the f*ck has taken over reality television these days? Specifically reality television inspired by music. These people aren’t creating art. They’re creating nausea. In my stomach.

If you were “lucky” enough to catch Tuesday’s American Idol, you know there was an epic performance given by America’s little country belle, Kristy Lee Cook.

Her song choice? GOD BLESS AMERICA.

Please, gag me. I’m all about “America” and whatnot but watching Cook’s whole blonde-cowgirl-in-Acrylic-nailed glory act, complete with cowboy boots and that sparkly All American Girl look, I would have bet a million dollars that the government paid her to do it.

Apparently, the girl isn’t as stupid as she looks, cuz now has every Republican and Religious Righty is gonna be eating sugar from the palm of her hand while wearing their cross necklaces and Nascar t-shirts. Amen.

Cheesy American flag graphics were splattered behind her like a bad Up With People set design (speaking of Up With People, how about little David Archuleta’s performance? I believe there’s also a spot open in Menudo that he could take), and the whole vibe was so bombastic I almost went blind. Read More »

American Idol was downright bizarre last night. Any show with three guys named David, and Jim Carrey in an elephant suit, is bound to get ratings though—I guess.

Honestly, I’m just not all that into American Idol this season. The singers seem tepid to me. Sure, I miss the liveliness that my Sanjaya threw into the show last season—but even barring that, everyone is so bland! At least Ryan mixed it up with his offer to fight Simon in a pit of mud.

So, let’s talk about the bottom three: Syesha Mercado, Kristy Lee Cook, and David Hernandez. Syesha had to sing first, and the poor girl—I just wanted to cry for her. How much does it suck to be told that you’re unpopular and then be forced to sing in front of who knows how many million people? Syesha handled it pretty well, though, and at least managed to smile throughout her whole performance. Read More »