Comedian Katt Williams is missing…

Rumer Willis is a whack job!

The best things come in small packages…lookin’ good when you’re not 5′11”

He may be a little weird…but TomKat made a damn cute kitten!

So, I know the election’s over, but Sarah Palin continues to amuse me.

Tips on going vintage…

Baby animals are sooo cute!!

Amazingness…get Hilary Duff’s look for under $100!!!

Get ready, ladies (and some gents), Black Friday is right around the corner…

LC’s ex is back in the news…

Being that I have a giant obsession with The Hills, I have forced a lot of my friends to watch it over the years. Obviously, they had no choice if they happened to be anywhere near my house on a Monday night; but it also happens to be the only thing I talk about/reference, so most of my friends felt it necessary to watch in order to understand me when I refer to their new bangs as totally Pratt-Tastic. Or if I refer to someone’s lame ass BF as a Poor (wo)Man’s Justin Bobby.

But just because they watch it doesn’t mean they love it like I do. In fact, as last nights season finale was coming to a dramatic close, I received this text from a friend:

“The Hills is the suckiest sucky show ever. I want to shove forks into my eyes.”

Clearly, this friend doesn’t see the show for the super fantastic hot mess that it really is. And that makes me sad. Read More »

Last night was the season premiere of The Hills and all I can say is, wow. I have been counting down to this moment for a long time. I even had a party to celebrate it. But even I couldn’t have anticipated just how spectacular the whole event was going to be.

A pre-show.

Mariah Carey.

An hour-long episode (with commercial breaks that seemed a lot shorter than normal).

It was fantastic.

As you all know, last night’s episode picked up where last season abruptly ended some three months ago: Lauren and Whitney arrive in Paris, while Heidi and Spencer work through the many failings of their overly public relationship. I am ashamed to say this, but after watching I was extremely disappointed with Lauren and (gulp) actually kinda respected Heidi.

Before you throw tomatoes at your computer screen, hear me out. Read More »

Much like Heidi’s face and body, The Hills isn’t real.

The self-described Queen of all Media recently broke the story most of us already knew to be true when he reported that episodes of The Hills are about to shown in the UK with a pre-show disclaimer: “The following programme may contain scenes that have been created purely for entertainment purposes.”

The only news to me is that people didn’t know that The Hills wasn’t real in the first place. It’s not totally fake, but come on. How could you not know the scenes were set up?

I mean, it spun off from “Laguna Beach,” which asked its season two “stars”, Jessica and Jason, to recreate the break up that they’d had on a weeknight, since MTV only filmed the show from Thursday through Sunday.

We also had this fantastic account from Gavin the Model about the fakery and insipidness that is Lauren, Spencer, and Heidi (and the potential coolness of Brody Jenner).

Is the ‘news’ in this story that The Hills creators are being up front with the British audience while in the States we’ve had it revealed to us through the likes of Perez Hilton and other bloggers? Read More »

Someone needs to swear to me this isn’t true.

Spencer Pratt, the shudder-inducing bitchy straight guy from The Hills, might be trying to sell his own sex tape!

Reportedly, Pratt has been trying to sell his tape under the radar, hoping to make it seem like it was leaked without his knowledge.

While it’s not clear who exactly is featured on the tape, it was apparently made in Brazil three years ago, before MTV brought the nauseating duo of Heidi and Spencer together on it’s scripted reality series.

Commenting on the scandal in US Weekly (and no doubt loving the attention) Pratt claimed “there is no sex tape” and maintained that even though he did go to Brazil three years ago, he “was never on camera.”

Normally, I totally love it when celebrity sex tapes come out (I mean, how stupid can you be to lose a homemade porno?), but when it comes to the possibility of Spencer Sex Tape, I hope against hope that there’s no such thing. Read More »

Last night was difficult for me. Not only did I have to work late, do my laundry and pay some bills (ew!), but I had to figure out a way to watch The Hills while also watching a friend from college compete on The Bachelor! So much drama, so little time.

Well, in the end The Hills won out (though I did manage to see my old friend fold herself into a pretzel to woo the bachelor…what!?) and it was one jam packed episode! Who knew so many things could go down in 23 minutes?!

I don’t even know where to begin.

Perhaps we could discuss the Whitney work debacle where she was so hungover from partying with the band that she couldn’t seem to convince one of the guys to change his pants.

Or Heidi and Spencer’s wedding woes; she spends her days shopping for dresses, registering for uber expensive things she’s never going to need (because they are always eating at that crappy Mexican place) and picking out the perfect wedding location.

Spencer spends his days not telling his parents he gave his anorexic girlfriend a fake engagement ring and pretending the whole engagement never really happened. Read More »

Okay, Justin-Bobby, if that is even your real name, let’s talk. You don’t like me because I don’t like you. But, I can’t help it; when you wear swim shorts and a pair of army boots, what choice do I have?

When you ignore the obvious plight of your hair, what do you expect me to do? Sit back and let you believe girls like those greasy locks?

Maybe I could have let it go if you weren’t such an asshole. Maybe if you didn’t just say all those nice-ish (in your own special way) things to Audrina and then leave her at the party.

No goodbye. No explanation. Just a helmet. On a couch.

Fuck you.

But enough about you. There are much bigger things to discuss this week.

Namely: Spencer’s visit to Colorado and Brody’s Beach Partayy.

Visiting Mount Butt: Am I alone in this? Did everyone but me know that Heidi comes from a farm? Like a real farm! Not just a small town; there were ANIMALS at her house. How could a family that raises horses produce that bleached blonde, fake boobed bimbo? I just don’t understand it. Read More »

Today, August 13th, 2007, marks a momentous occasion.

The return of The Hills.

Oh. And my parent’s 35th wedding anniversary, which probably should be more important than a not-so-reality series on MTV.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending how you look at it), their marriage doesn’t have as much excitement or drama as the lives of LC, Whitney, Audrina and Heidi/Spencer, so, yes, I am MUCH more pumped for my MTV this evening.

Come on. Like you wouldn’t make the same call? If you had to choose between witnessing Heidi’s new boobs or watching your parents argue about the temperature in the house and then go to sleep at 9PM, which would you pick? I thought so.

Tonight is going to be good. No. Better than good; Fat-Free Donut Good.

I haven’t seen any promos for the new season (as I have been busy catching up on seasons past ALL WEEKEND LONG!!), but I have no doubt tonight’s episode will be the kick-off of the best Hills season yet. We got the Lauren/Heidi drama, the always tumultuous Heidi and Spencer saga, and, rumor has it, an ex of LC is back in town. Read More »