New Semester, New Beginnings

Now that the New Year’s Day
hangovers are a thing of the past,
it’s time to trade in the warm sofa
for cold, hard desks as the spring
semester approaches. If you are
wondering how you will possibly
make it through this semester after
barely
making it through the fall semester
you are in luck, because a new semester
brings new beginnings.
Read More...

Next: Porn Bailout? Come Again?
1/5Previous FeaturePause RotationNext Feature

Unemployed? No Worries! Here are Some Future Jobs!

battlefield-earth-795153.jpg

The country is getting ready for a terrible recession. Banks are folding and getting bailed out by loans from the FED (which has federal in the name but is private). Scientists are trying to rip open space and time using the Large Hadron Collider. Someone like Sarah Palin is officially close to being involved in a presidency.

The signs are there: the world is going to end. And while I’m sure no one can get a godd*mn job right now (lord knows I can’t), we can at least look forward to the post apocalyptic job market that’ll present itself once the gaping maw of darkness spreads wide, and evil once again walks our planet.

Here are some jobs you may want to start building a resume for. Read More »

Your Grades Don’t Matter When The Earth Gets Sucked into a Black Hole

science.jpgI haven’t followed science much since I fulfilled my requirement in undergrad, but even I can’t avoid all the news swirling around the major scientific breakthrough that could be going down today.

I won’t attempt to explain what is going on - because that would be like dad attempting to describe the hullaballoo of Fashion Week - but some people are a bit nervous that whatever major experiment is happening could suck the earth into a black hole and end humanity as we know it.

Sweet! No more worrying about those 5 pounds I can’t seem to lose!

Ok, so most people argue that the whole black hole thing is an extreme exaggeration, but no one says it isn’t at least remotely possible. I am one who always expects the worst, so I am preparing for the end. And I fully plan on going out with a (Big) Bang.

What am I doing for my last day on earth? Well, let’s just say it is going to include ice cream, Cash Cab and a Wednesday afternoon at the bar. Who cares if I mix vodka with beer and wine? I won’t even be around tomorrow to feel the hangover.

Whether or not you believe that today is end of the world as we know it (and yes, I sung those words as I typed them), it is at least a valid excuse to live it up on this random Hump Day. Do something (or someone) extraordinary. Treat yourself to something you covet.

And, for the love of God, pray that nothing goes wrong over in Switzerland.

[Photo courtesy of sciencedaily.com] 

Close
E-mail It