Whew! Tonight’s episode of The Hills really wiped me out. Between all that bicoastal travel and those beers I had at my Labor Day BBQ, I was tired. Although it may also have to due with my lingering hangover from Saturday’s festivities.

But I digress.

It seems as though with every passing episode of The Hills I find myself hating someone else. First it was Spencer (duh), then Heidi (double duh), then Jen Bunny, Lauren and, naturally, Lo. Well, another one bites the dust: Whitney.

Don’t get me wrong - Whitney is awesome. She is nice, smart, driven and has a killer wardrobe. But the fact that she gets to travel between L.A. and NYC dressing hot guys for model casting calls just makes me want to scream. Why her?! Why not me?! That girl must have some sort of magical spell on Kelly Cutrone; she made the woman smile!

And it was scary.

While Whit was off playing Dress the Hottie on the East Coast, LC was back in L.A. trying to break things off with Doug. I don’t really know why you’d break up with a guy who looks that good (considering the guy she really loves wears camo…), but I do have to commend her on actually sitting down and breaking things off. I tend to stick to the “avoid him until he gets it” tactic, so it was admirable– while totally awkward – that she went to his place to give him the news. Read More »

After watching last night’s episode of The Hills I couldn’t sleep. I was restless. I was angry. I just didn’t know who to hate more: Lo or Spencer. I also didn’t know if I should be embarrassed that I sorta wanna watch My Super Sweet Sixteen presents: Exiled. But that is for a whole different blog.

I used to love Lo. In fact, I considered my 25th birthday to be one of my favorites because it was the day I got to interview her. Too bad I suck at picking people to love, because that girl is a serious biatch.

I get it, Lo; Audrina is sorta bland and boring and you hate her cuz her legs are ridiculous. But stop being such a bitch. She may not be the brightest crayon in the box (although she most definitely is the tannest), but she is a nice girl and wants nothing but good things for those around her. Plus, she is your best friend’s other best friend and, quite frankly, she looked a lot better than you at She-Pratt’s birthday party. What was UP with your hair? And the red lips? You looked like a crazy cat lady.

And then there is Spencer. Oh Spencer - how many times can I possibly write how much I loathe you? Your life consists of one thing: being a bitch. You don’t work, you don’t have friends – all you do is plot evil plans with Heidi (consisting of either awful music videos, photo shoots or ways to make LC’s life a living hell) and eat Mexican food. Read More »

I have been following the life of Lauren Conrad since she was livin’ in her palatial mansion back in Laguna Beach and crushing on (questionably gay) Stephen Coletti. In that time, I have watched every episode on the edge of my seat, screaming at the TV for one reason or another, after which I would write up my a recap and post it to this site.

Well, tonight I decided to do things a little differently. In honor of the premiere of the 4th season of The Hills, I will be bloggin’ it live. No more editing my thoughts from the privacy of my computer. Nope; those bad boys are coming at you in the moment.

So, watch with me as we follow the lives of our favorite L.A. ladies and feel free to IM me at CollegeCandy27 if you too have something (mean) to say to Lo, or the sudden urge to reach into your TV and smack Heidi across that plastic thing she calls a face.

9:13 PM: Only 47 minutes to go. I suppose I can watch a little Olympic Beach Volleyball while I wait…or make an ice cream sundae! Calories don’t count when you’re watching not-so-reality TV, right?

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Getting sick of the Olympics? Don’t care anymore now that you can’t see Phelps in a Speedo? Worried about how you are going to spend your Monday night?!

Worry no more, friends.
The Hills and all of its blonde drama is back!

And you don’t even have to watch alone!

CollegeCandy will be liveblogging the entire episode from the comfort of our very comfy couch with a bottle of Boones Farm and a box of Oreo’s. We will even be online (CollegeCandy 27 on AIM), so we can bitch about Heidi’s boobs and Lauren’s ‘tude together!

Sounds like the perfect evening to me.

So join us tonight. 10PM. MTV. And come back tomorrow morning for the usual recap.

And just in case you needed a little refresher, here is a look back at the happenings of the L.A. ladies the last time we watched. Ugh - I hope LC nixed that weird braid thing. Maybe then she’d find some true love.

Apparently the Teen Choice Awards were on last night, or something? Yeah, we didn’t know either. But here are some people dressed up for it.

This is what $14 Million looks like. (Funny, I thought there would be more gold….)

Is my iPhone really killing me?

Thank God for CollegeCandy, especially now that our favorite magazine is folding.

People say my standards are too high, but would do date this man?

Sleeping in until noon is not bad; it makes you smarter!

Paris Hilton’s mama fights back against John McCain. Looks like the Repubs lost a little financing, eh?

Sexual harrassment is A-OK. In fact, it is necessary for the future of our species. Duh.

Please, Tyra. PLEASE. Don’t ruin this election for the rest of us.

Are you a nailbiter? Smoker? “Like” sayer? Quit that nasty habit overnight!

Don’t mess with Tracy Turnblatt. Fo real.

We all have one: the friend who blows you off, who drops you like a hot potato as soon as she meets a cute boy, who just needs to borrow $5 and seriously she’ll pay you back like, tomorrow. If this girl was your boyfriend, you would dump her a**–but can you really dump a friend?

I met Rebecca in the Spring of our senior year, in an English class, and it was like we had known each other forever. In only a few short months, I felt like I had a new best friend, someone I could rely on and who always understood me. I could totally be myself around her; my sometimes-goofy, sometimes-awkward sometimes-downright-weird self.

In short, it was friend love (Flove?).

I was leaving for grad school in the Fall (in another country), so we resolved to spend as much time together as possible that Summer. Now, I’m known among my friends as being a leeeeetle bit on the anal side when it comes to making plans, keeping them, and being early. I’m always early, at least by 10 minutes, to just about everything. If I make a plan with you, I will be there, rain or shine. Rebecca, on the other hand, always seemed to be in the midst of a calamity. The subway was delayed, or she accidentally fell asleep, or there was some kind of crisis, so she was going to be late. I spent a lot of time waiting for her to show up. Sometimes she’d never show up at all, calling later to apologize, and I always just acted like it was fine. Read More »

Good news, Hills fans!

Rumors are circling that MTV will be adding yet another spin-off to the ever popular series. I know you, like me, are all waiting in eager anticipation for the premier of Bromance, but get ready to add somethin’ else to the DVR.

For those of you who l-o-v-e the drama, but are so o-v-e-r Lauren Conrad, get ready: Whitney Port will be getting her very own show.

Us Weekly reports that Whit’s new gig will focus on her “job” at People’s Revolution and will (finger’s crossed) include a whole lot of the signature Kelly Cutrone bitch-tackular-ness.

I love Whitney’s style and laid back nature, but the girl really doesn’t bring much to the table in terms of personality. She is like a nice block of tofu, picking up the flavor of whatever is around her (albeit, in some pretty fantastic clothes). It’s a good thing, then, that MTV will be surrounding her with some spicy characters, mainly Cutrone, or this show will be bo-ring.

No word yet on when the show will begin taping.

Also, no word on when MTV will launch, Cleaning Up: Justin Bobby’s Battle with Sobriety…and Taking a Shower, but I have a feeling it isn’t too far off.

Photo courtesy of Yuddy Style

Word on the iNet is celebrity hanger-on Gayimus Maximus Perez Hilton is designing his own clothing line, which debuts on June 6th. The line will be available at Hot Topic, and will be called…Perez Hilton for Hot Topic. Yow!

Though I’ve only seen a few items from the PH(Squared)T collection, it appears that is will consist of small t-shirts, skinny jeans, hoodies, rubber band bracelets, flip flops, sneakers…basically, all the cheap sh*t that a fifteen-year-old girl or sexually confused boy needs to trick out their wardrobe for the big Fall Out Boy concert.

In an online video promoting the line, Perez calls out Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag on their own overpriced, mundane garbage lines and says that, unlike theirs, his will be very affordable and appealing to the demographic that his website caters to.

That said, I kind of have to give Mr. Hilton props. While I certainly won’t be sprinting in to Hot Topic on that fateful Friday in June, the line’s hot pink patterned pants and cerulean blue t-shirts featuring guns and sparkles and rainbows and hearts (Fact! All on one shirt!) look to be pretty much everything a fine young piece of prepubescent mall trash could hope for. Read More »

Last night was overwhelming; between the return of Gossip Girl and another episode of The Hills I just couldn’t stop trembling with excitement. Luckily, the shows weren’t back to back and I had some time between to make some pizza matzoh. Delish.

While I chomped away on my Passover snack, I watched an unusually high amount of drama unfold. Even for this group of girls. The entire episode made me feel uncomfortable; like watching Meet the Parents, or The Office when Michael and Jan had the dinner party. It felt like every possible weird combo of people possible in L.A. happened. The only thing that would have been worse was if Jason showed up with his weird post-rehab wife. And then started making out with Heidi.

I mean, how awkward is it that Audrina is friends with Heidi who is friends with Stephanie who is friends with Lauren? And, as we all know, Stephanie also happens to be the sister/roommate of Spencer. She really is at the center of the drama and, somehow, has gotten everyone to trust her. Lauren wants her as a friend; Heidi wants her as her boyfriend-bashing confidant; and Spencer wants her to clean up after him.

How is it that knowing she is mixing with all parties, everyone seems to keen on trusting her/confiding in her/not questioning her shady motives? Especially Heidi! Is it normal to not only stay best friends with your ex’s (or that guy you are currently on a relationship vacation with’s) sister, but to also talk so much crap about him to her? They do live together, Heidi.

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Easy on the eyeliner, LC.

Reality TV has even gotten to the smart people — the world has hit it’s ultimate demise (minus all the Globla Warming brew-ha-ha.)

Yale Law School is attempting to set a world record for the most people gathered in one spot dressed as Lauren Conrad.

Uh, do we really need another one?

Maybe YALE doesn’t have legging/headband, layered-necklace wearing chicks, but if you walk into any mall in America you’ll find LC lookalikes rummaging through Forever 21 and Claires like rioters after a flood.

I’d prefer they stay and hibernate there. We don’t need any more people immitating “faux celebrities.”

…However, the invite does mention something about free eyeliner. Hm. Maybe those genius kids at Yale are onto something.

If you truly desire the ability to dress like LC, check out this eHow.com article.