(We’re back with another weekly installment of G.W.W.E. [Guys We Wanna Eff]. What better way to close the books on 2008 than with a man who’s coming out on top…with a new show, that is. Here’s to hoping Brody Jenner will be coming out on top of us someday soon! )

Shameful, I know, but I can’t help but salivate (and have naughty dreams) when Brody Jenner is around. Just a quick glance at his pedigree should have any hot-blooded female’s heart racing: he’s the son of Olympic decathalon champion Bruce and stepbrother of smokin’ Hollywood siblings, the Kardashians. Which means there’s no mystery where that rock-hard bod comes from… and you know he can keep his cool in the company of ladies. The dude has, like, 12 step-sisters.

Our film-fanatic friends might say, “two thumbs up!” But as yours truly says, “Eff me!”

While his dad and stepsisters strut their stuff with their own reality television show, Brody has achieved reality stardom in his own right. He made his first reality whoring appearance on the Princes of Malibu. (Yes, that show actually existed. Yes, I actually watched it. Yes, he looked effable.)

Then, obviously, he made his way to The Hills, where he dated Queen Bee LC for a spell. I can’t say I was dismayed when that ended. (Note to Ms. Conrad: You’re much more fun to watch when you’re just wearing hot clothes and sunbathing all the time. Once you start dating guys I wanna eff, I turn off my TV in disgust. Capisce?) Read More »

So, tonight’s episode kinda sucked. (Almost as bad as that picture to the left. Fo realz.) The best part of it was the hummus I scarfed down while watching. I can’t totally blame the people over at MTV, though; that episode of Gossip Girl was pretty hard to follow.

But, still - the episode actually opened up a lot more questions than it answered. Questions like:

1) What is the point of the whole Stephanie/Cameron relationship? I mean, really, why did this story line ever exist? Was it to show us that boys like Stephanie? Did MTV hope for it to cause more tension than it did? Maybe a bar brawl between Cameron, Brody and his Bromancers? Was it to bring Steph and Spencer together, or maybe tear them apart? Why?!

The love story lasted for like 5 minutes over the span of 6 episodes, so why are we supposed to care that they broke up? I just don’t understand. Enlighten me, people. (Speaking of Cameron, did anyone else notice when he tried to kiss Heidi hello and he totally got the back of her head? Awkward!)

2) Did MTV force Lauren’s parents out of their house? Lauren’s epiphanies about moving on and growing up seem a bit too…er…advanced for her to have come up with on her own, which leads me to believe that this was yet another scripted moment by the folks at MTV. Does that mean, then, that they forced her parents to move out of their mansion so they could create this moment? That’s a lot of packing for one crappy episode. Read More »

So, I was gone for a few weeks and missed out on a lot of Hills recapping. I was so excited to get back into it…until I actually watched tonight’s totally sucky episode. Like most episodes of The Hills, nothing really happened. In fact, the entire show can be broken down into two sentences:

Lauren and Audrina make up.
Spencer acts like a douche in front of his Nana.

Now, let’s take a closer look. Read More »

Well, tonight’s episode of The Hills definitely made up for last week’s lackluster performance. Big things happened! Audrina moved out! Heidi got drunk! And then she got fired!

OMFG it’s like drama overload.

Ok, breathe, Lauren. Let’s start from the beginning.

So, Audrina decides she wants to move out of the house and – poof! – she finds a place. And not just any place; a beautiful, huge, brand new place. What luck?! I mean, I spent 2 months looking for an apartment in NY before I found one…that was in Queens…and I shared with a girl who got drunk and ate in the bathroom and another girl who abused Ambien. Did I mention the lack of A/C? Read More »

I’m having a breakdown. I can’t breathe. OMG. I am so upset I am eating a slice of cake.

Could the rumors be true?
Is Lauren Conrad packing up and moving out of The Hills?

LC recently stated, “It’s coming to a point where I love this show so much, but I’m ready to kind of walk away. I’ve been doing it for five years now. Five years on TV is a really, really long time.”

True story, LC. Not to mention the fact that the show is slightly unbelievable these days. Come on; why are you still going to school? You just presented a freaking EMMY! How is the show your real life when you are a celeb in real life, not a struggling college student interning for a monster? And it is kind of annoying that we are all forced to pretend to wonder what happens with you and your friends/boy toys when you are all over the gossip mags/websites/etc.

But still - I am totally crying.

If Lauren leaves the show, that means there will be. no. show. And that means that I will have nothing to live for (besides Gossip Girl, Ugly Betty, and The Office, of course). Who will I tear apart every week if Heidi and Spencer are no longer on TV? How will I feel better about myself if I don’t have Stephanie Pratt to compare myself to?

How will I go on?

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[Photo courtesy of our pal, JustJared.com]

Last night’s episode of The Hills was monumental. Huge. The early-20s-drama-rific equivalent to the falling of the Berlin Wall.

(Thanks to Holly’s constant pushing and manipulating) Heidi wrote LC a letter.
I know! Heidi can write?!

Well, sorta. The letter went a little something like this:
Dear Lauren,
I am so, so sorry for everything I ever did, ever. But, PS, you aren’t the only one that is hurting from everything I did, ever. I am upset too.
Love,
Heidi Montag Read More »

[Celebrities get paid to look good and serve as a style guide to all us common folk, and part of looking good is flaunting their totally awesome fashion sense. Each week, I will be highlighting my Style Idol of the week: a celebrity who consistently shows keen fashion sense and whose closet I would raid in a heartbeat. Of course, no celebs are immune to the occasional “what the hell were they thinking?” moment, but for the most part, these celebs look foxy and fabulous and inspire us all to do the same.]

Although I regularly watch The Hills, the show honestly irritates the crud out of me, and I think I’m an odd man out when I say I am not a big fan of LC. But even I can’t deny that the girl’s got a great style. She mixes California cool with high fashion for a nice combination that brings out her fresh-faced good looks.

Whether jaunting around LA with her BFFs and her puppy, partying it up in Vegas, or walking the red carpet at Hollywood events, she looks put together and sexy without being too overt. She does a great job of keeping it simple with basic pieces - jeans and plain tops or simple dresses - in colors and cuts that are perfect for her, and pairs it all with light accessories for the total cute package.

Of course, I’d probably dress really well too if I got paid $75K per episode to be filmed partying, “working” (‘cause we all know those jobs aren’t real) and acting like a total bitch. But maybe I’m just bitter. Read More »

For the first time all season, last night’s episode of The Hills was action packed! I was actually not that surprised, because of course everything would go down as soon as LC left town. Remember how everything changed when she went to Paris?

But still - it was intense. Things happened. And, more importantly, really deep conversations were had.

Like this doozy between Audrina and Lo as they ate lunch during their (forced) week of bonding:

“I have 2 knives,” says Audrina, confused.
“I have 2 forks,” responds Lo. “TRADE!!”

Ah, that is true friendship. They really are getting along – at least until the BIGGEST DRAMA EVER happens: Audrina starts chatting Heidi up at the bar and then meets up with Heidi (who happened to be wearing a lot of leather) and Spencer at the X-games party. And not only does she meet up with them, she starts getting all huggy and lovey with Heidi about their friendship and how they used to be BFF. Read More »