A lot of times, the fighting and rivalry between sexes causes a behavior called ‘reduction.’ Where each sex reduces the other one to a short list of (of I don’t know, lets say 13 or 14) traits, to belittle others and to make themselves feel like the true social scientist they know they are. But, all fun aside, we know that regardless of genitalia, people are actually quite complex. That’s really our evolutionary flaw. We develop consciousness to avoid needing night-vision eyes or long ass necks and accidentally give ourselves all these hangups and fears.

So, with that complexity in mind, let’s take a look at 5 thing’s your boyfriend loves that he might be to afraid to admit to.

5 ) Legos. Alright, not sure why ANYONE would be afraid to admit to loving these, but I see a lack of Legos in college dorm rooms and honestly I don’t know why. Legos are fun sober and SUPER fun when drunk. Maybe guys aren’t afraid to admit that they ‘did love these, when I was a kid,’ but can’t come to grips with the fact that they still think about going back and really finishing that Star Destroyer replica, now that they’ve got the money to buy the right color blocks. Buy your boyfriend Legos for his next birthday, and watch his face light up.

4 ) Unicorns. For some reason these magical, fair and royal creatures of ancient myth have garnered a feminine association in modern day. Which is total bullshit, FYI, since Unicorns are awesome and guys shouldn’t feel ashamed that they love them and wish they could ride them sometimes, or maybe just watch two unicorns eat grass and gently nuzzle each other. Pop ‘The Last Unicorn’ into your DVD player and see what happens. Prediction : 5 minutes of ‘come on let’s watch something else’ and then 1 hour and 45 minutes of wide-eyed enrapture. Read More »

Here’s a little known fact about men and flirting: There are two types of male mindsets regarding the subject, dudes who assume you are always flirting with them, and dudes who assume you never are. It’s split 49%/49%/2% (2% of guys don’t flirt, they just think about legos and spank it later).

Of course, there are guys who are your friends. They don’t think you’re flirting with them when you talk to them, because you’ve established parameters. But this label is only applied to really good friends. Guys you’ve known for awhile. That dude you’ve been talking to all semester in math class? Doug? Yeah, I just talked to Doug. He was at the meeting. He’s not friends with you and your playful conversations about the professor’s righteous beard are him establishing ground work to ask you out.

This isn’t sinister. Doug just thinks you’re hot. Or maybe you talked to Doug first. Whatever the f*ck, who cares.

Of course, if you’d mentioned your F*CKING BOYFRIEND AT SOME POINT OVER THE LAST 9 WEEKS Doug might not be so presumptuous, but that’s for another time. No, don’t do it now. It’s too late to mention your bf now. Irregardless of your inability to slip that compound word in the hundreds of minutes you two have spent snickering, the point remains: Doug took your ‘Hey can I borrow a pencil’ as a ‘maybe we’ll have sex.’

This isn’t Doug’s fault. He’s just a type A male flirter. It’s not just you. It’s every girl, ever, in his age range, many men he meets (”DUDE, THAT GAY DUDE WAS ALL ABOUT THIS ASS”), and certain animals (”That turtle was totallying giving me the look”). Read More »

And now for the news with Kandy Korrespondent:

All eyes are on North Carolina and Indiana as Democrats head to the polls today. The New York Times’ Adam Nagourney analyzed the three different scenarios that could possibly emerge out of today’s race. Briefly, here they are:

1. Clinton wins both states: This will demonstrate that her campaign has continued momentum and may serve to win some superdelegates over to her camp. It will also reflect the extent to which Obama has been hurt by the Rev. Wright debacle.

2. Obama wins both states: The death bell will ring for Clinton’s campaign. Najourney notes that several of her advisers have actually said that they will counsel her to quit at that point.

3. Spit decision: The Clinton campaign’s uphill battle to catch up with Obama’s delegate count will continue. After today’s election, only 217 delegates (excluding superdelegates of course) will be up for grabs. Najourey As democratic consultant Ron Klain states,

“The math still favors Senator Obama, no matter what happens Tuesday.”

Even though I’m so done with this whole Obama-Clinton endless fight, I’m hooked– I have to see it through to the end. For that reason, and because I have no life, I’ll be posting exit poll updates throughout the afternoon and evening–so stay tuned!

In Other News: Read More »