I have a subscription to New York Magazine. I like to read it because the cover articles tend to be edgy and intelligent, and the publication as a whole tends to be more pop culture friendly than their slightly stuffy counter-periodical, The New Yorker. If you don’t live in NYC or around it, you might not have heard about NY Mag, which is fine. It’s a little inside-jokey. A little self-referential — cultivating a between-the-lines feeling that the New York publishing world is the center of the universe.

But like that slightly snotty friend who turns around and buys everyone a round of drinks at the bar, I just can’t seem to break up with NY Mag and read my weekly copy faithfully. There’s only one thing about the periodical that really bothers me, and it usually can be skipped over quite readily…unless of course, you’re me, reading it last night.

You see, yesterday I had a long day. The bus ride back from work was so packed it induced claustrophobia, and two people decided to get into a screaming match that included gems such as “SHUT UP, RETARD!!”, “YOU’RE THE RETARD!!”, “ON YOUR MOM!!”, “ON YOURS, MINE’S DEAD!!”. When I got home, my internet and cable were still not working…a problem left over from the weekend, and it was probably around 105 F in my apartment. Pouring myself a bowl of cereal, I sat down and decided to spend the evening reading, and my new copy of New York Magazine was the first thing I got my exhausted hands on. Read More »

Both the Huffington Post and the New York Times have recently gotten really interested in girl-on-girl action (but don’t worry, this has nothing to do with Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson. Absolutely nothing. Seriously. Nothing). They’ve gotten so interested, in fact, that they’ve dedicated whole columns to trying to figure out why it seems like chicks dig other chicks.

Let me break it down for them (and you, if you really don’t know): chicks dig chicks because we’ve been taught to dig chicks.

Why do women seem to have a more fluid sexuality than men – at least that anyone will admit? Because since we came shrieking out of the womb, we’ve seen images of women in every stage of undress – including naked. Advertisements for razors with long, leisurely shots of legs. TV shows that have a mandatory wardrobe of tight clothes and short skirts. A bajillion movies where tits and ass flash across the screen so often that we eventually forget guys even have body parts. Music videos full of bling and boob. Reality TV where hot tubs are as mandatory as microphones. Porn (who could forget porn?). I mean, it’s not an old argument that the media is saturated with the female form.

So why are we all puzzled that girls get a little aroused when they see other naked or semi-naked girls? Read More »

Katherin Heigl backlash. To the MAX

Men everywhere are a little disappointed that the first lesbians to get married in LA aren’t Megan Fox lookalikes

Paul Janka. From pick-up artist douche to date rape a**hole

MTV starts their own Sex Blog. Here’s hoping Dr. Drew drops in to talk about Herpes…

This would definitely cut down on the Dunkin Donuts runs…

Lesbian Chic is the new black

Some televised man bashing

Amy Winehouse (probably) OD’s again. Which is great for her image.

Chaka Khan likes to cover herself in rubber.

No one wanted to be on Gossip Girl…at least no one in the Hamptons

So, have you ever broken up with someone, and sworn to stay friends with him or her? Have you ever fallen out of touch with that someone, and decided to catch up on his or her life by looking at Flickr? When you found that person’s Flickr, did you happen to see several drugged-up hipster burlesque girls licking each others’ necks?

No? That’s what makes my exes special.

When I saw that my former beau was posting pictures of sexually adventurous Brooklynites, I had to call him up.

“Those ladies sure do like to lick each other,” I said. “Why is that? Are they tasty? Are they all covered in nacho cheese?”

“Girls do this,” he said. “Every time I get out the camera, they start making out with each other. I take picture one, they’re friends, picture two, they’re friends, picture three, they’re sucking face. I just stand there, like, ‘I didn’t ask for this! This is all on you two!’”

Kissing girls, to be honest, is trendy. Right now, one of the biggest songs out there is called “I Kissed A Girl.” It’s by Katy Perry, and it’s got all the right props: drinking (”I got so brave, drink in hand”), a Lolita vibe of horny-yet-so-far-untouched experimentation (”It’s not what, I’m used to / Just wanna try you on / I’m curious for you”), and, most depressingly, a boyfriend lurking just out of sight, reassuring us that this girl isn’t really a lesbian (”I kissed a girl just to try it / I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it”). Read More »

Sure, I’ve asked myself, “Are you into GIRLS”?

I think a lot of girls ask themselves this at some point in time or another. After all, guys and girls communicate completely differently and it can leave a girl feeling emotionally helpless. And plus, we all know women are the ones with beautiful physiques. So I have asked myself this question and yet every time, “NOPE” seems to be the answer. If that’s true, then why do I LOVE it when girls hit on me?

A girl winks at me at a bar and then tells me I’m beautiful.
A hot girl I know asks me if I want to join her in sex with her boyfriend.
A lesbian tells me she wishes I were a lesbian.

Why, oh why, am I so thoroughly delighted by all of this supposedly unwarranted attention? I think I know why…

I think it’s because girls are notoriously VICIOUS with one another. Girls judge other girls like we’re all competing on America’s Next Top Model and the prize is endless chocolate and all-expenses-paid shopping. Even if I don’t wanna make out with the girl at hand, it feels nice to know she wants to make out with me.

Am I crazy?
Or have you ever felt this way?

In the recent wake of Juno, there’s a pretty emphatic highlight on young actresses like Ellen Page. Seems like everyone wants to hop on the bandwagon, and why not? It’s about time that the younger females in our current day and age have someone actually noteworthy to look up to, not to mention it’s great to see people our age act and do it well. So you’d think that if there were a movie that had two young prominent female characters playing lesbians, it would be an amazing breakthrough performance, right?

Not if everyone thinks it’s about lesbian werewolves, it’s not.

Now, don’t go thinking that there’s a movie where large furry girls are giving an entirely different meaning to the word “petting”. Ellen Page and Olivia Thrilby (who was also in Juno, as well as the recent, less popular but equally amazing Snow Angels) are set to play Jack and Diane in a movie that’s called, you guessed it, Jack and Diane. Read More »

Here are two things I know to be true; Penelope Cruz is hot, and helping family members succeed in life is awesome.

Here are two more things I know to be true; just because one family member is talented, doesn’t mean everyone else in that family got the gene, and two sisters making out—no matter how good-looking they are, is majority creepy.

The UK magazine The Sun is reporting that in an attempt to get famous fast, Penelope Cruz’s brother, Eduardo Cruz (who will now be know as “Sketchy Cruz”), has put his two sisters in his new music video—making out.

In the video, Penelope and Monica play sexy sound-dub artists who are putting the finishing touches on a lesbian porn tape. Something about the porn, plus Sketchy Cruz’s typical pop music sound, gets these two so riled up that they can’t help acting out their sexual tension.

Now matter how hard I wish I was, I’m not making this up.

But wait! The story gets even weirder. Read More »

I’d like to begin this week’s Nip/Tuck thought session with a few quotes:

“I don’t date guys with gray pubes.” (Thank you Eden.)

“Make love to me Christian; take care of me.” (Make up your mind already Julia — men or women?)

Both lady’s comments made me wonder two things: (1) Are older men less capable of having casual sex? (2) Do all women really want to be taken care of/feel safe?

The Eden/Sean thing was inevitable even though I’d always thought he was too good a guy to do an 18 year-old. However, I was surprised to learn that he wanted more than just a physical relationship with Eden. After resisting her for so long, wouldn’t he want it to be more of a “wham, bam, thank ya m’am” kinda situation? Read More »

Not only is reality tv dominating networks worldwide, but now it’s also inching it’s way into actual tv shows — i.e. our dear Nip/Tuck.

Although I must admit last night’s episode was a nice switch up from the status quo with the “Plastic Fantastic” title and theme song (that was hilarious), I doubt I’d ever feel as much love for the show if it continued that way. The drama was just too forced and completely exaggerated. It had never been more apparent to me that reality tv thrives on creating conflict even if there may or may not have been any to begin with.

I mean, we have Olivia and Liz making a love connection, Christian spilling the beans to Julia, Julia flipping out at the two lesbos and begging the cameras not to capture her emotional breakdown, while Eden races in after escaping from rehab and finally gets Sean to kiss her and Christian plays the guy who just wants to “help out.” It was total madness, well more than usual anyway.

It would of been way over the top if Kimber and Matt stormed in crying that their baby is addicted to crystal meth. Read More »

Before I delve into how much oral activity went on last night (on the show of course), the beginning of Nip/Tuck was utterly horrifying. Dr. MacNamara’s new leading lady sh*t herself in his hot tub and was from that point referred to as “the sh*tter.”

Is it just me or does this girl seem way too unworthy of dating such a hot doctor? I don’t care that she used to be fat. I don’t mind that she has some intimacy issues. What bothers me is that her personality sucks. What does he see in her? Especially now that she’s literally sh*t all over him. Uh, so gross. I did however find all of the poop talk hilarious.

My prediction is that MacNamara dumps her and gets it on with Eden, lesbian Olivia’s overly sexual daughter, who’s hair is out of control. And side note: Is this chick for real? I mean what is she? A teen dominatrix? You’d think she were a tease, but I’m seriously doubt it. Read More »