And this is why I don’t buy my drugs online. Or use any form of drug that sounds a lot like those little blue creatures that lived in ’shrooms.

4 dumb high school students were rushed to the hospital (from school!) after using an herbal supplement called Snurf. What is Snurf (besides the name you give someone who farts in the bathtub) and why didn’t I know about this organic wonder-drug?

Snurf is labeled as an herbal supplement, but it is said to have similar effects to Ecstacy.

Sounds awesome, except instead of giving the kids an awesome trip, it made them all violently ill. Oh, these high school kids these days and their dabbling in drug use. Don’t they know that buying drugs online is a terrible idea? I tried to buy a Gucci bag online once and got some cheesey knock-off instead.

Looks like we are all learning some very important lessons: you can’t trust the internet for drugs or handbags. Don’t forget it!

It’s September 2nd, which means we must tuck our bikinis back in their drawers, slather ourselves in aloe vera, and hang our heads low as we mourn the coming end of summer. This also means that school is starting again, and for incoming college freshmen this brings a whole new kind of dread.

Sure, you’re excited to meet new people, take classes you chose out of your course catalog, and maybe even explore a new city. But there are things to worry about. A lot of them. Maybe it’s that you’re living away from home for the first time, or living across the country. There are more things you need to be prepared for than just athlete’s foot in the communal showers (plastic sandals will take care of that).

As someone who survived four years and two colleges and managed to graduate with all four of my limbs and at least a bit of dignity, I feel I should imbue on you, humble reader, ten important lessons and tips to help you enjoy college safely and happily, from picking classes to surviving alcohol poisoning.

1. Make orientation week count. I skipped a lot of the activities scheduled for orientation week and later came to regret it. I didn’t want to wake up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston, but what I didn’t realize is that a lot of people did wake up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston and, in doing so, met all those other people who got up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston. You’re not going to meet people if you hole up in your room, so go out as often as you can.

2. Taste-test classes. So you didn’t get into that History of Watching TV class you really wanted to take, go to the first class or two anyway. You’ll be amazed at how many people drop out of the class and a space for you may become available. The same goes for a class with a bad teacher. If sucky prof is teaching a general ed class you have to take, visit the same class taught by a different teacher. In my experience, a great teacher can make any class interesting and enjoyable. Read More »

It’s a universal truth: Valentine’s Day can suck, even if you’re not alone. Make sure it doesn’t by using one of these five sweet date ideas. Whether you hang out with your GF, BF, or BFF on V-Day, it’s still possible to have a ton of fun with a creative date.

1. A picnic. If you live in the Southwest, a traditional outdoor meal might actually be possible. Those of us who shack up in chillier climates don’t have to abandon the idea of a fun picnic, though. Take your date, make a few sandwiches, then grab a blanket and head to the nearest academic building. Set up shop in one of its more isolated areas, unwrap your food, and—presto!—picnic. Read More »