With classes starting, like, now (eek!), here are 5 foolproof items that will carry you throughout the year. Versatile, comfortable and reasonably priced, it’s a wonder you don’t already own them!

1. Short-Sleeve Cardigan
The collegiate look is in this year. It’s just a fact. And for those of you who aren’t exactly fond of the whole prep-school-blazer look, here is a much more subtle option. The short-sleeve cardi is super functional, being worn with a tank top or tee during the warm months, or a long-sleeve tee once it gets cold in your neck of the woods. Pick up one in a neutral color and see it become a wardrobe staple. Read More »

Puppies are cute, snuggly Cancer detectors.

This can’t be the actual video, right?

Another book I really don’t want to read, but most definitely will.

You can never trust a man to do anything right.

I will never look at Ramen the same way again.

Why are we so addicted to watching rich people on TV?

Want to hate Spencer and Heidi even more? Find out how much money they rake in…for being annoying.

The Clothes that Got me Laid: better than a wingman.

Everyone hates “Project Runway” this season.

Ugh - I should have been a naval architect.

Looks like I won’t be watching the VMAs after all.

Rumor has it that Lindsay Lohan is saying TTYL to Jesus and Shalom to the Jewish faith.

Yes, like many non-Jewish women who fall head over heels for the Jews (and who can blame them?), Lilo is (allegedly) converting for her gal-pal, Samantha Ronson.

Being a card carrying Member of the Tribe, I feel it is my duty to whip up a (Kosher) Jell-O mold/some bagels and lox and welcome Linds to the Jew-berhood.

We are so excited to have yet another celeb on the verge of a mental breakdown to call our own!

Before I hand over the bagels, though, I need to make sure Lohan is in it for the long run. We Jews take our religion seriously and, like the bouncers at the Waverly Inn, don’t let just anyone in. Is she ready to use guilt to get everything she wants in life? Does she fully understand just how much time we are forced to spend in synagogue? Does she know that being Jewish is about more than searching for a good deal at Marshalls?

And, most importantly, is Lindsay truly devoted to our people, or is it all about the allure of Yom Kippur, a holiday where we atone (and are completely forgiven) for the sins we have committed in the past year? Lord knows Lohan has a lot of atoning to do, starting with that line of leggings she created.

Oy. As if having Speidi at church wasn’t bad enough, now we have to worry about having Lohan at Temple. God help us all.

If I had to choose what I love most about this season’s fashions (and choosing one is no easy feat) it’s that purple is THE color to wear. From shoes to bags to dresses and jackets - shades of purple are popping up EVERYWHERE.

You can’t go wrong: neon, plum, eggplant. Deep shades of purple are h.o.t.

“But I will look more like a vegetable and less like a cute trendy person,” you say aloud as you hold up an amazing purple frock. To which I say: NOT SO! Add some black patent accessories, or a fun accent color and you are good to go!

Here are three chicks rockin the neon purple ensemble, but, as usual, the prices of these fabu garments are well out of our reach.

That’s where I come in! Your fashion researcher. Your best friend, the coolest person you “know” to bring you celebrity chic on the cheap: Purple Paradise. Read More »

The time has come for someone to stand up and scream at the top of their lungs, “America, stop being disgusting and sexualizing 15-year-old girls!!” and I’m not afraid to be that someone. Because the media can longer be counted on to have a brain, because adult celebrity bloggers see it fit to go after girls who can’t even drive yet, and because we as a nation are still. fixated. with. high. school, the cloud of obsession seems to have blinded everyone to the fact that there is something inherently wrong with stalking little girls.

Because these ARE little girls we’re talking about. Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Taylor Momsen. When we’re not urging them to slather on the eyeliner and hike up their skirts, we’re glamorizing their world, turning high school into a multi-million dollar soap opera where everyone is scheming or talking like 30 Somethings or having sex with anything that purses it’s lips. For those of us who remember high school without the Hollywood Glasses, you’ll recall that no matter where you went, it was decidedly unglamorous. It was boring, sometimes lonely, a lot awkward, and stuffed to the brim with tests, feeble attempts to fit in, and college application essays.

Ask any mother today who isn’t on crack if she’d be happy with her 15-year-old having sex, and she’d blurt the word no faster than you could think it. When Ms. Cyrus’s cellphone is hacked into and her frighteningly-too-old half naked poses are stuffed onto the world wide web, we’re “horrified”. But when she walks around with a full face of makeup, hair extensions, high heels, and revealing clothing, she’s just being a “teen star”. The Lolita posing is too overtly sexual; while the “Disney Vamp” is just subtle enough to keep us from feeling guilty. Read More »

Now, I’m one to be up on the latest trends, especially when it comes to shoes. With a closet dedicated to my fabulous collection (at over 70 pairs, yes I admit, I have a problem!), I feel like I know what styles are new, what is out of fashion and what will be expected for each seasons new arrivals.

I did not, however, expect this: High heels for babies.
Yeah, you heard me.

Heelarious is a website that delivers soft shoes for babies, 0 – 6 months, who just can’t stop begging their mommies for some hot pink platforms. Featured in In Touch Weekly, New York Post, ABC News, ET Online and more, these plush shoes look like high heels and will give your baby the best look for her, um, day care class?!?!?! (Editor’s Note: Daycare is totes the best place to meet a guy!)

The New York Post called its article, “For Well-Heeled Fashionable Tots,” and, at $35.00 a pair, they’re obviously necessary for an individual who can’t even walk yet. With all different styles (hot pink, zebra pattern and – yes, even – leopard), your daughter, before her first birthday, will have conformed to society’s stereotypes! How proud you will be. Read More »

Live from prison, it’s the Dark Knight!

LOL, Jessica Simpson wants to be a singer!…Wait, but, um, isn’t she?

Speidiwood: punishing the troops, one Iraq trip at a time

Oh, she’s just being Lindsay–I mean Miley–I mean…THEY’RE THE SAME!?!

Remember when Dina Lohan won an award for motherhood?

In other news, this 12-year-old makes me feel really bad about myself

I don’t know if this is better or worse than a tequilla shot

I. Hate. Happy. Couples. Even if they’re dirty hipsters.

It takes a certain type of person to fight at a Waffle House–and his name is Kid Rock

Wendy Williams vs. Omarosa: fight to the death. No, really, please?

I used to think Lindsay Lohan’s line of leggings were a joke. I mean, leggings? Really? Another famous bitch trying to design clothes?

But, now I realize how wrong I was. Leggings with built-in knee pads? Brilliant! Fashion AND Function.

Has Lindsay Lohan turned Miley Cyrus into a promiscuous devil child?

Perez 1, McCain, 0

Those Real World kids continue to make our generation look like idiot douchebags

Early reviews of Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight: Fabulous and Frightening

What if dudes didn’t exist?

A cross wearing Bible-thumper…dealbreaker?

Jay-Z likes his watermelons to look like Beyonce’s …well…melons

I will never put my dog on Prozac. End of story

Sleeping around via Cragislist

Dear New Yorker: That cover was stupid. Just admit it

Okay. This needs to be said. The time has come.

Lindsay Lohan is not a lesbian.
I repeat: Lindsay Lohan is not a lesbian.

Yesterday, Gawker (a site usually so snarky and cynical they probably wear American Apparel clothes just to be ironic), posted an article about how the Lilo / Ronson lesbian affair might really be the real thing, and listed all these points that kind of prove the two are in a relationship. Their biggest piece of evidence? A picture on Sam’s MySpace page that shows her and Lindsay “kissing”.

See how I put the word kissing in quotes? That’s because the picture is pretty much the weakest thing I’ve ever seen. I have more passionate kisses with my Christian Bale poster that’s been in my bedroom since 8th grade. There’s more heat in a handshake than in that picture.

Lindsay Lohan is not a lesbian.

What she is, is media savvy. Read More »