It’s rainy. It’s windy. You haven’t seen sunlight in days, you didn’t do so hot on today’s pop quiz, and you really don’t feel like reading about the Enlightenment for history class. What better way to beat the dreariness and procrastinate than by having a comedy movie marathon to boost your spirits and make you laugh?

When fall settles in and it’s not as much fun to walk through campus on a chilly, dismal day, grab a bunch of kids from your hall, pop some warm, buttery popcorn, and veg out in flannel pj’s and sweats. You’ll feel better, you’ll have fun, and best of all, these movies sure as hell beat anything that sprung from the Enlightenment! Read More »

(We realize the title sounds gross, but get your head out of the gutter.)

The story in Hollywood seems to be that if you are already famous for one thing, it must mean you can do everything. Like design a perfume. Or an entire clothing line. Or sing. Or run an entire state.

Some of those progressions make a bit more sense than others, so I guess we can kinda, sorta understand. Like Lindsay Lohan - she grew up doing theater in school, so she can clearly both act and sing. Or like David Beckham’s newest venture… into fish sticks.

Beckham, only the sexiest man ever, is a dad, husband and amazing soccer star. Obviously all of those skills stem from fried sticks of fish (with Omega 3!). I mean, that makes sense, right? He is an athlete + he eats, so, naturally, he knows everything there is to know about sticks o’ fish!

Which leads me to believe that anyone who eats these “Fish Fingers” will somehow end up looking like David Beckham. So, I am in. Where can I get a few (boxes) of these things to pass out to every guy I know?

We’ve reached the mid-way mark of October, and that means that we at CollegeCandy are really psyched for Halloween. We’re definitely still pondering what to wear on the 31st, but when it comes to children’s costumes, there are a few get-ups we’d rather not see prowling the streets.

The following is a list of Halloween costumes for children to avoid, containing several funny, inappropriate, and unsafe outfits we’d rather not see on our younger siblings and babysitting charges. Read More »

Madonna is dressed to kill…literally

Bush hates pirates

Getting sick in college for dummies

McCain doesn’t roll on Shabbos

Don’t worry!! She’s still a size 0!!

Who’s got a hate-on for Tom Brady?

Angelina teaches kids to play with knives

Marcia was a ho — and other secrets

Why don’t know why she’s famous either

Miley has lived such a full life…

An America by any other name would just be Georgina

Natalie Portman will ALWAYS be better than you

Troubs for Sam and LiLo?!

Audrina poses in a bikini to stay famous

When I was in elementary school my mom would wake me up an extra 20 minutes early on some very special mornings to crimp my hair. Eyes closing, head drooping, I would sit on my bathroom counter as my mom went through my (excessively thick and fro-ey) hair - section by section - with my purple and teal crimping iron. The end result was horrifyingly awesome. I had the coolest hair in school.

But as quickly as my crimper came into my life, it made its exit. As soon as I hit middle school I realized that giant hair was not in and that, maybe, a round brush and a hair dryer was the way to go. I tossed that crimper in the trash and never looked back. Because no one should. Because that hairstyle was completely ridiculous and it really looked good on no one.

Which someone should explain to Madonna and Lohan. Read More »

In light of Heather Locklear’s recent arrest while driving under the influence of something (read: drugs), we started thinking about the obscene number of stars heading to court/jail lately. Their visits are so frequent, in fact, that it seems we see celebs more often donning orange jumpsuits than strutting the red carpet.

We thought it was only appropriate, then, to honor these fallen celebrities. For without them we would never know the repercussions of driving drunk, grabbing the breast of an underage girl, or buying and selling drugs from the back of a limo. These celebrities have taken the fall so we don’t have to. It’s as if they are channeling Jesus and sacrificing themselves for our sins.

Ok, maybe not. But their mugshot pictures are pretty badass.

There is really nothing better than seeing an ultra glamorous superstar looking like a hot mess at the police station. Especially when that superstar is strung out on some really strong sh*t. So, we took it upon ourselves to pull our Top 10 Celebrity Mugshots together for your amusement. Scroll through, enjoy, and practice your voting skills for this year’s election by choosing your favorite to win the 2008 CollegeCandy Mugshot of the Year award. (There is really no prize, award ceremony, or thank-you speech, but we still want to know which hot tranny mess is your favorite.)

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Read More »

Tonight at sundown Jews all over the world will begin celebrating one of our holiest of holidays: Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year). Unlike the traditional American New Year where we make resolutions for the upcoming year, this 2 day holiday is spent asking for forgiveness for all the mistakes we made over the past year.

I just don’t know if 2 days is enough for me.

Being that I have such a public forum at my disposal, I thought I would go the extra mile this year and clear my slate of sins before I even step foot into synagogue this evening. So, without further adieu, here are my apologies. Please forgive:

- I am sorry for doubting the Wolverines and their ability to have a KILLER comeback in a football game.

- I am sorry that I called that girl a bitch in the bathroom because she refused to pass me toilet paper under the stall.

- I am sorry for all those times I cut people off while driving; I thought I had more important places to be than them, but I now realize that getting home in time for Oprah is really not important at all (mostly because I have DVR). Read More »

This weekend I got drunk. Really drunk. For 13 hours straight. I said inappropriate things, I ate things I would never eat on a normal day (sausage, donuts, mayo…not together), and I threw up in my mouth a little and swallowed it.

But I did not get anywhere near a car and never would have even considered driving anywhere in that state of mind.

So why did yet another celebrity get arrested for driving under the influence? Heather Locklear, who was in a rehab center earlier this year for “anxiety,” was pulled over yesterday in L.A. for driving erratically on the highway. No information has been released as to what was in her system, but come on! When you are doing drugs or drinking, be smart and have someone else drive your car!

You think these people would have learned by now after Nicole, Paris, Lindsay, little Hogan, etc., but no.

This taught me an important lesson, though: never go to L.A. Not only do you have the very real potential of running into Spencer and Heidi, but you also have a very real potential of ending up on the road with one of these dumb and dangerous celebs.